How do I get unstuck please? Need to lose weight but keep sabotaging myself and feel like I’m my own worst enemy.

[Losingtheplot01]

Hello everyone

I was just wondering how you got started on 5:2 and if anyone had a mental tug of war between eating stuff you shouldn’t vs not eating it, how you got over that?

By way of background I did 5:2 by following the threads on here a while ago and list about 20lbs... slowly but surely,

Then I fell off the wagon and my weight has been slowly creeping back so I’m back to an overall loss of only 10lbs.

I’m excellent at putting weight on but mentally feel stuck. I know what I should do, I know it works, I know I’ll feel better and I know it’s good for me and I know I’ll look in the mirror and feel
Slightly better.

I can do a day of not eating but when it comes to eating I can’t seem to stop. So I will go a whole day as I find that easier than having smaller meals thru the day but once I start I seem to autopilot eat rubbish and sugary stuff. And then I feel bad and tell myself I will tomorrow only to repeat the same thing or cave in and eat earlier.
I have been mostly doing16:8 for months but the stuff I’m eating isn’t helping and the weight is creeping back.

I think I am self sabotaging but not sure why.

I also wonder if there is something else wrong with me. I seem to spend most days sitting and watching tv or Netflix. Mostly watch cookery programs and spend the days saying get up and walk or move or do something but I feel stuck.

In have suffered from depression in the past and also have anxiety. I feel thoroughly frumpy but can’t seem to use that to spur me on. It’s almost as if I am defeated by lunchtime in my previous evenings determination to do better the next day.

I had yet another summer of wearing jeans on the beach on holiday ... in the heat of the summer we’ve just had and I am determined every autumn to not have another ‘fat’ and grumpy summer next year.

I know I can do this and I know the health reasons are beneficial but the sugar addiction and laziness/apathy or whatever it is just get in the way.

I have about 30lbs to lose and reading everyone’s results in the5:2 thread are inspiring but why am I so stuck.?

I am slightly sick of myself for not being able to do this. I am 51 and have been like this for years. The 20lbs I lost was slow and over say 3 or 4 years but i know I could do it more quickly if I just did it...

I am posting on here as hoping for some kind support. I feel very pathetic and can’t seem to get unstuck. Hoping for some words of wisdom or insight into how to get past this and to want to do this for myself. Is it a lack of self love or depression or what?

Thank you in advance and sorry if I sound ridiculous. Maybe I need some tough love or maybe I need professional help.

I wanted to start by saying stop wearing jeans in the summer on a beach! Your body is your body. Start appreciating it for what it is. It's doing an important job of keeping you alive. Yes you may need to lose weight to keep it healthy and string.
Following on from that I'm just not sure how healthy not eating for days at a time is. Your body needs a steady input of fuel.
I try not to think too much about dieting or food. The more you think about unhealthy food the more you want it. If I fancy something I pretend to myself that I've eaten it! Sounds weird but it does work for me! I also weigh myself daily to see I'm keeping on track.
Do your meal plan for a week, stick to it and distract yourself with other thoughts for as long as you can.

Thank you so much again nellyitsme

Your post makes a lot of sense and all the replies on here are helping and giving me some focus to my thinking which is helping.

I managed 10000 steps today and had a salad. Simple suggestions like the fact that food makes you feel bad has been a bit if an eye opener. I had convinced myself that my digestive issues were just one of those things and hadn’t made the connection that it’s what I’m putting in thats causing it. Sounds daft but I sometimes can’t see the Wood for the trees.
Also having tried and not succeeded with different diets I found 5:2 and it worked and I found it easy ish so it was my go to thing to aim for.
What the replies here, including yours is helping me with is that I need to maybe go back to basics and work on that. I have a mental block on what to do but I think your advice seems so logical that I think I will Def give it a go.
I tend to do things in baby steps if I can as the all ot nothing approach is clearly a bit too drastic with the inevitable falling off he wagon.
So for now I’m going to eat more simply. Tonight I had a jacket potato with cheese and salad . I don’t tolerate cheese that well but the salad seemed to help. So although I was trying to be mindful, the cheese wasn’t a good idea but with some salad it seems ok.. so maybe that was a bit more balanced. I also did 10000 steps so feel like I’ve had a good if not perfect day. Is full had a sweet tea and some biscuits but it wasn’t a blowout day which was not bad so I’m taking it as a win.

Thank you again for your wise and kind words. You and everyone who has posted are all helping me unpick things and the simple suggestions are so helpful
Xx

Hello Elmo.

Congratulations on your upcoming big day... how exciting.

I hope the advice on here is helping you too. Wishing you lots of luck and please
Feel free to post your own questions... I’m sure they’re valid and will help xx

Hi Cuddling

You’re right. I should ditch the jeans. I don’t know why I never not wear them. I think they are like my comfort blanket
I have very veiny legs and just have no confidence. Am grateful to be alive but am comfortable being a but hidden. My mum doesn’t and didn’t wear make up when I was growing up and money was tight so she always made do, as did my dad. I’ve kind of grown up like that and don’t enjoy shopping or trying clothes on. Thank tend to stick to a uniform which doesn’t help
Me feel good about myself but I’m also stuck in that sense and tell myself ‘when’ I lose weight I’ll be better at making an effort but again it’s a mental block so i stay where I am.

You are right and I hope one day I can get to a place of not being so self conscious and not so beholden to thoughts or anxieties about food.

I can look back and see I’ve always been the same and it’s been such a waste of time feeling bad about myself so having hindsight now is making me want to right things so I can enjoy life more... fingers crossed.

Thank you for your reply too. It’s another very helpful one xx

So sorry for all the typos. I’m a bit. Leary eyes but wanted to reply and to say thank you. Hope
My posts make sense
Xxx

Hello Plot

I wondered if my story might help. I did 5:2 for a while but after losing a few pounds, I plateaued. BigChoc on the main thread was very helpful and I realised I was overeating on the 5 days. I needed to address that and have paused 5:2 for now.

I bought a book on overeating which really resonates with me, "Eating less: say goodbye to overeating" by Gillian Riley www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005H0CALU/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21
The title about being addicted to food nearly put me off - I didn't see myself as addicted, I'm "only" a stone overweight, but reading what the author has to say has made me really question my relationship to food and why I do certain things. It's been enlightening. One thing which I've found very helpful is thinking about why I want to lose weight - aesthetics and my DM is less mobile now she is in her 70s, has had a knee replacement etc and I don't want to be like that. This book is helping me focus on health and, most interestingly, seeing weight loss as a symptom of gaining my control over food, rather than the be all and end all. I haven't explained that last bit well, but it's resonated.

It's not a quick fix, I bought the book a year ago and am going through it for the third time but it is really helping me. To the extent I'm nearly ready for 5:2 again.

Hi Cheshire

Your post makes a lot of sense, so thank you for sharing your experience.

I think I feel the same... it’s no longer about just clothes or how I look. I want to sort this out for myself and to stop feeling bad about myself.

I am going to look at that book for sure as it may resonate with me. I know lots of the health benefits of eating well but I just need to put that into practice.

Good luck to you if you do get back into 5:2. I think for now my plan is to understand and not be so annoyed at myself for eating whatever. I’m trying to do 10000 steps each day and hopefully that will help with the mental side and will gradually change how I view/use and abuse food.

Thank you so much xx

@Losingtheplot01 @CheshireSplat I've dipped into the Eating Less book, and Gillian Riley talks a lot of sense - although like you, Cheshire I don't see myself as an Addictive eater, like excess weight is a symptom of something else and we need to look for the cause, she uses the analogy of a bust pipe - we look for the cause of the leak rather than keep bailing out water. Gillian Riley has done a condensed version of her Eating less book, called Ditching the diets. I don't stick rigidly to her teaching but I've tended to absorb a lot of her stuff, like the Times and Plans and the Outline

The middle of that post doesn't make a lot of sense - sorry, multitasking

She uses the analogy of for example of the burst pipe and how we may keep bailing out water instead of looking for the cause of the leak she compares it to excess weight and it being a symptom of something else and we need to look for the cause and not keep focussing on the weight and we need to find the cause before we can shift the weight

I am completely the same, I can go a whole day without eating but once I start... However, I have seen a huge correlation in it depending on what I eat. Bread, pasta and other carby foods will lead me to follow with cake, biscuits and chocs. What has worked for me is the intermittent fasting and low carb/high fat foods. Like another poster recommended read the Moseley books, he makes it all make sense and when you truly understand something it makes you believe in it and thus easier to be motivated.

Good morning Nellyitsme

Thank you again. I am definitely in the place now where I want to get to the bottom of it and sort the root issue... I think I am addicted to eating maybe.. something about actually eating is my issue. The connect between my brain telling me I feel ill or I will feel ill isn’t enough to stop me... somehow I think of food as medicine and if I eat I’ll feel better.
Even when i was travelling many years ago I had an upset stomach but thought if I eat It’ll help me get over it so I’ve always been like it.
I have downloaded a free kindle sample of the two books mentioned by Cheshire and you and will read both to se if anything clicks.

Thank you again x

Hi Ididit2019

Thanks for sharing your experience and what has worked.
I’ve tried lchf before but must admit I found it i found it quite hard to stick to for longer than a few
weeks but I did manage 5:2 for the longest and still mostly eat in a 16:8 way which seems to sit better with me. But I need to be more mindful and remember what makes me feel unwell and then not eat it. I did lose some weight but it wasn’t easy for me.
It’s very heartening to hear yours and others experiences and feeling like I’m not alone is also good for me and makes me believe I can hopefully resolve this.
Thanks again xx

Great stuff plot keep this thread updated. I didn't have cake at work this morning. 2 long-standing colleagues were leaving and I felt obliged to eat their cake. It's this kind of thing that keeps me overweight. Slim people wouldn't feel they have to eat cake someone else has bought. So I didnt!

Hey Cheshire

That’s fab will power.. i’d have had some cake although as I’m GF it’s easier to avoid because of that.

I’ll def keep the thread updated.

Was feeling meh today so didn’t manage my steps and ate too much but it’s ok. I’m trying to not feel too rubbish about it.

Have a lovely weekend. I’m going to make a start in reading the books mentioned and also look into the Mosley books.

Xx

Hi losIng how're you doing?
I'm still trying to eat less - quality over quantity and what food is right for me.
What did you think of G Riley's book? I like the fact that she says it's your choice and you choose the consequences of what you eat

Hi Nelly
How are you?
I’m doing ok thanks.
I started reading the book and the first few pages on the longer one really resonated. Loads actually.
I haven’t got very far with it but am Planning on reading more tomorrow.
I am warming a bit better although find myself still reaching for sweets and rubbish stuff. But I have managed to do 10000 steps daily and more on some days so hit 76698 last week which I am
Pleased about.

I think when I manage that I’m maybe less tempted to eat rubbish but it’s only been a week so early days. Also done yesterday and today this week so fingers crossed it helps a bit.
I have also found I quite like salad with a generous helping for a dressing so figure that’s at Least some good stuff going in.
Thanks so much for checking in and I’ll report back on the book once I’ve read a little more. I like the idea that I do have a choice. Just have to learn to recognise that.

It sounds silly doesn't it? But when auto pilot kicks in it’s very weird. I can look down at my plate and wonder where the biscuits went and literally have no idea how i finished them. So hoping the book can help me recognise that and help me kick the sugar habit.

Thanks again. You’ve been such a star for helping me xxx

Not warming. I meant I am doing a bit better.

How my phone does these strange replacements is a mystery