Hi there, I am trying to get sensible with my eating, too - as in not dieting, but also not letting that mean all-out scoffing!
What has helped me recently was searching on here for a couple of threads entitled something along the lines of 'what do slim/thin people actually eat.' !! I felt like I'd genuinely forgotten what 'normal' looked like.
Not everyone had healthy tips to share by any means, but sifting through, I felt like I did get an overall picture of what I could imagine myself managing... That has turned into allowing myself a few things that previously I'd feel guilty about - so I now have peanut butter & banana on toast for breakfast... and not just once slice, but two.
And I SIT DOWN to eat it (rather than scoffing whilst making the kids' packed lunches). I really Enjoy it, whereas before I'd have felt like I had now 'failed' before the day even got going.
I have definitely reduced the amount of grazing I do. So, I don't have a morning snack, although I've been eating lunch quite early, at midday... although that is almost 5 hours since breakfast so not that early! Today it was leftovers, which was a quinoa & veg stew thing (having leftovers for a quick lunch is also a huge help, I'm finding.)
Another thing is that I am trying to slow down as I eat, as that is definitely an issue for me, and something I find weirdly hard to do. I think I almost try to pretend I"m not eating by rushing and not thinking about it, whereas now I'm trying to be calm about it and enjoy it.
Then I'll have a snack when the kids get home from school. Today was a bit random - a small tin of sweetcorn and an orange and a cup of tea.
Then dinner tonight is quorn fajitas. I'm not sure yet if I'll have the tortilla wrap or just the filling, and whether I'll have all the additions - cheese AND sour cream - or limit myself slightly... Again, this seemed a rule of thumb that slim people ate everything, but would sometimes tweak things to make them less calorific but in a way that wasn't too severe if that makes sense.
I think what struck me on the 'slim people' thread was they ate smaller portions, snacked less, were generally active even if not exercise addicts, and were consistent in this as a lifestyle rather than doing the continual restrict/overeat cycle that I have been falling into. I knew all this, I just seemed to have forgotten!
Anyway, so I feel for you but I also think you don't have to be stuck feeling unhappy with your body and eating habits. I think if we give ourselves a break (which goes along with this TED talk by the sound of things) and go about making healthy choices in a really positive, gentle way then the weight side happens on its own, but we will already be feeling better about ourselves anyway. When I feel fat I eat far worse than when I feel happy about myself, so don't punish yourself!
Lastly (sorry this is so long!!) I'm also walking for an hour a day and that's my exercise. I have been fully into intensive running and weights and circuits before but right now I just can't get myself to do that consistently, whereas i have to walk the dog and so that happens. And, again, I think by not punishing myself and letting the walking be enough I'm forming a healthy habit that I am maintaining, rather than doing 3 days and then stopping for a week.
Good luck!