Forced to stand in front of the mirror and realisation sets in

[Feelingfortyisntfun]

Hi ladies,

I lurk on the boards. I have had quite a lot of success on 16:8 in that it has assisted with my constant snacking. My issue is I always have been prone to bingeing and I just love food so days I deviate from the plan I can eat a lot. Not tracking kcal on those days has led to less weight loss than I probably should have.

Today I went to see a personal trainer/physio (size 8 max) and she asked me to strip to under wear. Apart from wearing Bridget Jones pants I had to look at myself in the mirror as she showed me some exercises. It was horrific. My big baggy pants and my thighs had what looked like we’re made of jelly - I never look at myself undressed in a mirror. There she was older than me and toned tiny perfect. I felt ashamed.

I’ve realised I have knocked off a few pounds with 16:8 but I can longer get away with cheat days. I came home and instead of going for a run i Felt sorry for myself. I used to be able to eat v little for a few days and would whip back down to size 10.

It could be worse I have lots to feel so thankful for but I’m trying to get my head round how I’ve had my head in the sand. I felt rubbish.

Now trying to decide the best way to move forward. 16:8 def helps for me but I think I’m going to do fast 1000 as 800 seems too low.

I don’t know why I’m sharing maybe for moral support. Also realising I’ve been lying to myself what I’ve been doing isn’t enough. My emotional relationship with food has to end and I feel sad about!

Oops abrupt end. So here I go. Fast1000 and no more cheating (ie if I eat the kids crusts of pizza and that slice of cake - it all counts no more “cheat days” 😁

Also self acceptance I’m getting older 😢

I am not sure about the tactics your personal used. I think she sounds horrible, asking you to strip down to your underwear to exercise whilst she stands next to you size 8. Sounds like she wanted to Shame you which is horrible and what is worse it worked. I wouldn't be going back to her.

I don't think your motivation should be humiliating you, don't think that's going to motivate you first time and it shouldn't be either. But well done for taking the first steps. I am trying to stick to 1200 calories for 5 days a week and have two days where I go other and eat what I like. 2/3 treats only a week. I find 1200 pretty easy but limiting treats very hard. I think 1000 sounds pretty tough.

Thank you mummy rocks. Hmm I wonder if that may work? 1200 are you trying to stick to low carb?

I am unsure about my trainer too I felt really uncomfortable as she had clothes on and I said I didn’t like showing my body. I think her heart must have been in the right place but I did feel really bad. Actually it was horrendous, but I should have been assertive enough to say how upset I was - and I guess she was trying f to show me exercises - but she was in shorts me, granny pants which is a bit funny on reflection but so embarrassing in the moment!

I just need a clear plan and stick to it. I never ever want to do that again that was worse than being on a beach with lots of people around! But maybe a wake up call.

That is really awful to make you strip to your underwear. How humiliating. I wouldn’t trust her to help you again.

I think she was trying to look at my alignment of knees as I said I sometimes get knee pain - so I think she was trying to look at that. Would have been nice to have continued the exercises with clothes on though!

This sounds horrible. Firstly, she shouldn't have asked you to take all of your clothes off, and you shouldn't have agreed to do something you didn't want to do. I hope that going forward you feel strong enough to say no to things that make you feel uncomfortable.

I wouldn't continue with that trainer but if you do then perhaps wear shorts so that she can't suggest taking your clothes off again.

I would work on your mental mindset around your body and weight loss. I have been on the same journey and have worked hard to change the negative voice in my head. When I see myself in the mirror and don't like the way my tummy or bum looks instead of allowing the inner voice to be negative I change it to a positive ("Thank you body for being healthy and disease-free" or whatever you can say that is positive about your body). I think for longterm weight loss and body positivity we have to change our mindsets. It isn't healthy to associate food with deprivation or guilt. It isn't healthy to attack our bodies for not being perfect.

There are lots of resources online that can help with this. But please don't berate yourself over your body.

Thank you rosewater for replying and others xx

You're right about the not being negative about oneself as certainly not feeling confident can't lead to I can't do it anyway thinking if nothing else. I think I was having a bad day, I'm ill today so think that probably left me vulnerable to feeling emotional.

I think I need to search out the psychological support somehow - not seeking it online. I find it very hard once I start losing a few pounds as my body/mind then wants to overeat and I need to address this in order to overcome those additional pounds that I don't want and to avoid being v overweight in older age.

I think a kick up the bum is required but also self love xx