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Unsure whether to stop at two children or try again

4 replies

MammaD1 · 15/05/2026 12:40

Hello. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I’m 36.5 years old. Each day having another final baby is on my mind. I don’t love the sleepless nights and find the toddler stage mentally hard. I just don’t want to regret not having more once I’m too old. My husband is older than me 45 and really isn’t interested in more. Should I enjoy 2 and the good times ahead or go again? The reason to stick with 2 is that I’ll be able to give attention to both and focus on my own life and career. 3 would purely be embracing this chapter of life and then having someone else in our family to share life with and support. I’m from a small family and no one is close or cares much. So there’s a feeling of making my own. I love being a Mum. I had one in 2021, stillbirth 2023 and then 2024. There’s a lot of emotion in there too. Thank you for any advice.

OP posts:
Janeykat · 15/05/2026 12:50

It's a really hard decision but your husband not being interested in more would be the deciding factor for me. I am 37 with a 2 year old and a 6 year old and always thought I would have 3 kids but we have agreed no more-- I probably would have one more if my partner also wanted one but he doesn't, and I don't want to try and persuade him into something he doesn't want. Also I think about things like what if it was twins/they had a disability/cost of living etc. life is good for us at the moment and I don't want to rock the boat. But I understand it is very emotional, I had 2 miscarriages between the kids and the thought of not being pregnant/having a newborn again brings some sadness. I am so sorry for your loss in 2023 and best of luck with your decision ❤️

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/05/2026 12:52

Your husband is 45 and doesn’t want more, so it’s a done thing. Enjoy your children

Bonmot57 · 18/05/2026 14:25

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/05/2026 12:52

Your husband is 45 and doesn’t want more, so it’s a done thing. Enjoy your children

This.

It would likely be a disaster to have a child with an unwilling partner and every child has a right to be wanted.

NameIDK · 05/09/2026 22:03

I’m in a similar situation as you and my heart goes out to you.
The others haven’t said it very sympathetically, but they are right in a way. You probably have to come to terms with not having another if your partner really doesn’t want one.
Is he open to it at all? Like there is a difference between definitely not and ok, if you want to. And before I get totally flamed for that, I genuinely think men in general think about these things differently. My DH is an amazing dad but if I hadn’t suggested it, it would never have occurred to him and by the time it did I’d probably be 55 and it would be too late! That said, if really is no as in NO, then yes be happy with your wonderful 2 DC!
I have also been through MC and I do think it makes you realise how precious they are.

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