To have a third?

Blossoms217 · 2026-05-02T14:48:33+00:00

I have an almost 8 and 4 yr old son. Youngest starts school this year, I work part time and love being a mum, one more? I've thought about it everyday since June last year and it's taking over my mind. I turn 35 next February so I would want to be pregnant either June or July this summer.

25mini7 · 02/05/2026 15:49

If its twins would that make a difference,?

Original poster

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 15:50

If it was twins it wouldn't be as ideal but I would still handle it (hopefully) haha

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ChristAliveHelp · 02/05/2026 15:51

What if it’s triplets? What if they have disabilities? Can you cope?

Original poster

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 15:51

I've got two boys and would love to have a girl but would also love three boys as I think that's special. I feel like there's someone waiting but I see all these posts on social media now about larger families and how they're all stopping at 1 and 2 which does get into my head. Questioning constantly

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ChristAliveHelp · 02/05/2026 15:53

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 15:51

I've got two boys and would love to have a girl but would also love three boys as I think that's special. I feel like there's someone waiting but I see all these posts on social media now about larger families and how they're all stopping at 1 and 2 which does get into my head. Questioning constantly

If your questioning it, don’t do it.

Original poster

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 15:53

I would be surprised at triplets, that would be hard but it's quite unusual and disabilities yes that would be difficult. Have you seen this happen in this situation a lot? I did think that most percentages of disabilities can be genetic or detected early

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Original poster

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 15:53

Do you think I'm pushing my luck? Thanks for answering

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Overtheatlantic · 02/05/2026 15:54

Sure, lots of people have 3 children but I would think carefully about your finances and whether they are truly stable.

ChristAliveHelp · 02/05/2026 15:54

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 15:53

I would be surprised at triplets, that would be hard but it's quite unusual and disabilities yes that would be difficult. Have you seen this happen in this situation a lot? I did think that most percentages of disabilities can be genetic or detected early

Yes Ive seen it happen a lot. It happened to me. Two disabled kids and fell pregnant with triplets sadly didn’t get to term. It’s a real risk if you’d find a disabled child difficult not all disabilities are detected early.

Original poster

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 15:56

I'm so sorry about that I hope you are ok. Thank you, yes I can see these viewpoints I really do need to consider. I'm wondering if it's because my youngest is starting school.

and I think others have become pregnant around me it amplifies it .

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Pregnancychoiceshelp · 02/05/2026 15:58

I planned a third and conceived first month only to be completely overwhelmed with dread and fear and like I’ve made a terrible mistake. My kids will be 8.5 and almost 6 at the due date and one of the things that is torturing me is the thought of the size of the gap, how the baby will be left out and get in the way of me enjoying and spending time with my older children. Obviously I knew this before we tried and it didn’t bother me but it’s become an obsession right now. I’m leaning towards a termination because my mental health has been so bad. This is an extreme example but do think about how the age gaps will affect your family life. With your kids’ ages, especially the eldest, they won’t have much in common until adulthood.

LemonandLimesoda · 02/05/2026 16:04

Pregnancychoiceshelp · 02/05/2026 15:58

I planned a third and conceived first month only to be completely overwhelmed with dread and fear and like I’ve made a terrible mistake. My kids will be 8.5 and almost 6 at the due date and one of the things that is torturing me is the thought of the size of the gap, how the baby will be left out and get in the way of me enjoying and spending time with my older children. Obviously I knew this before we tried and it didn’t bother me but it’s become an obsession right now. I’m leaning towards a termination because my mental health has been so bad. This is an extreme example but do think about how the age gaps will affect your family life. With your kids’ ages, especially the eldest, they won’t have much in common until adulthood.

If it is any consolation at all, there are 9 years between dm and her sister, they are so close, yes as adults but it is a lovely bond. Dm has 3 other siblings closer in age, one with only a year between them and they're nothing alike! I guess what I am trying to say is that age gaps don't guarantee positive close sibling relationships. It is personalities.
You have to do what is right for you; your health comes first . 💐

Pregnancychoiceshelp · 02/05/2026 16:09

Thank you @LemonandLimesoda and sorry to OP for derailing the thread. I know you’re completely right - my own mum is closest to her sister 9 years younger, and doesn’t get on with the one 18 months younger, but I’m more thinking about what family life will be like for the next 10 years and how a baby would take time away from my 2. My (just turned) 8yo in particular seems to have grown up so fast suddenly, and I don’t want to miss out on what’s left of his childhood. We have no family help and I work long hours so already feel that I don’t have enough time. What was I thinking.

Original poster

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 16:20

Pregnancychoiceshelp · 02/05/2026 15:58

I planned a third and conceived first month only to be completely overwhelmed with dread and fear and like I’ve made a terrible mistake. My kids will be 8.5 and almost 6 at the due date and one of the things that is torturing me is the thought of the size of the gap, how the baby will be left out and get in the way of me enjoying and spending time with my older children. Obviously I knew this before we tried and it didn’t bother me but it’s become an obsession right now. I’m leaning towards a termination because my mental health has been so bad. This is an extreme example but do think about how the age gaps will affect your family life. With your kids’ ages, especially the eldest, they won’t have much in common until adulthood.

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry and I hope you find some peace. It can be difficult to deal with our thoughts. Hopefully you can speak to someone that can maybe help you deal and talk through all of this, it sounds like a lot :(

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Original poster

Blossoms217 · 02/05/2026 16:24

This post has made me think a lot, if anyone has an ideas on how to deal with the feeling of not having that third baby please let me know. It seems impossible to shake at the moment

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paintedpanda · 02/05/2026 16:30

We tried for our third and final baby and got twins! I love love love my boys and would definitely still do it because that craving for “just one more” was so so strong.
We have a massive age gap (our eldest are teens) but the boys have just slotted in like they’ve always been here. The older kids love them and the boys love their big brother and sister.

LemonRabbit · 10/05/2026 20:23

I only have 2DC so don’t have much advice.
I’m also very drawn to having a third, but every practical reason under the sun says no!

If you really want 3 and have the capacity for it - emotional, financial, etc - then I’d say go for it!

NeedSleepNowPls · 10/05/2026 21:22

This is such a hard choice to make. What does your gut say? It sounds like if you're thinking about it a lot you maybe do want the 3rd, but the practicalities are making you pause?

Fwiw I had a third last year and I am so glad I did! My older kids have big age gaps (9 and 6 years) but the elder two adore the baby. One thing that I found helped was to think what life would be like when baby came, then in 5 years, then 10, 20, 30 etc. And compare that to life with 2 kids. It hugely helped my decision making so could be worth a try

LilacPony · 10/05/2026 21:33

Oh wow, you are exactly me a couple of years ago. Same age gaps, and I was deciding in the months leading up to my second starting school too.
I said the exact same to my friend - I felt like someone was waiting for me.
I was terrified, if the baby wasn’t well, if the pregnancy affected me badly and I couldn’t be there for my other two, so many scenarios made me so scared to do it.
Eventually I knew in my gut in ten years time I’d be really disappointed for never trying. So I went for it, and agreed with myself I had to dive in head first and stay strong. I got pregnant on our first attempt, I got early scans, private screening tests etc. did everything possible to make sure it was ok.
Baby born healthy. General life is much more chaotic, but it’s all good. I feel incredibly lucky everything was ok. For a good couple of months post birth every day I would just sit and think about how lucky I was to pull it all off.

Watcher2026 · 10/05/2026 21:35

Haha we did this same age had all boys then said one last time and had twin girls who are adored ....love my large family got smaller age gaps and more but I love it

CeciliaMars · 10/05/2026 22:53

I had 3, between the ages of 36-42. All lovely, happy kids. Go for it!