3rd child, friend with infertility

[Tilly24qw]

I’d love some advice about this dilemma I’m in. A friend of mine is really struggling to conceive and has been for years. I’m the only one that knows about it and I’m close to her. I have 2 healthy children and have always wanted a third. I feel like I can’t do it to her but similarly I can’t stop thinking about this third baby. It feels so greedy to want another when I am so lucky but I can’t shake it. Have you struggled with infertility and how would you feel in this situation? I’m worried it will break her.

You’re not doing anything to her though. Think of it this way, your fertility and family planning choices are nobody else’s business. I do understand, I have 3 and lots of my friends haven’t even started trying yet. But just stay in your lane and do what you want. You’d be MAD to let anyone outside of your relationship influence such a decision.

Eg if you’re no longer friends in 10 years, you’ll be pissed off you didn’t have that kid because of her.

Why would you plan your family around your friends infertility?
it’s very thoughtful of you to consider this, but it shouldn’t be dictating what you do. You’re not doing anything to her

That’s the equivalent of a friend going no contact with their own mum for no other reason than that my mum has died