Do we stop trying for another baby?

[Coffeechocolatebooks123]

I have two children who are 5 and 6. I am 35 and my husband is 40. I have always wanted 3 children and my husband and I have been trying for 3 years with no luck (we concieved in the first month of trying for both). We have even paid privately for a round of IVF and we got one embryo which failed to implant.
As our older two get older I am beginning to think maybe it just isn't meant to be. I almost feel like going back on the pill as I feel so tired of the constant tracking and countdown to the next cycle starting.
Did anyone go through the same process? What did you do? Did you keep on trying or stop? Has anyone got a big age gap and it worked well?
Thank you for any help or advice.

So sorry you've had this really rough ride. My personal experience as one of three with a large age gap is it's a bit shit. I was the oldest and it meant that my mum wasn't able to do activities with me any more because the baby, and then toddler, and then young child couldn't join in and when it came to exams it was hard with a younger noisy child charging around. So in your position I would now stop and focus on activities you can all enjoy together.

Yeah i would stop now unless you plan to have another afterwards (So its more equal). Gap is getting to big, your oldest two will want to do things that you cant do with a baby/toddler/young child.

I had an 8 year gap for my last child.
Had 3 and then an unexpected pregnancy.
For us it was a girl after 3 boys so the novelty of that was nice but it’s a long way back!
Teenagers and toddlers are difficult to juggle.
If your dh is hands on it would be fine imo
My dh worked away a lot so I had to take a career break. She’s 16 now and home alone with us as older kids all moved out.

Whats driving your desire for a third?
Maybe if you share that it would be easier to say if a third child ticks that box.

Thank you, both.
I am just so sad that it didn't happen, but realise I am extremely lucky to have two children already.

Thank you for your message. It is nice to hear a perspective of someone that has had a big gap. Did you ever feel any sadness about having the much younger child?
I am a planner, and I have always wanted three. I have 4 siblings and love my relationship with them and wanted to replicate that for my own children.

yep i was the youngest of a large age gap and it was also shit.

Why was it bad? What was the gap?

I have children aged 12, 10, 7 and 2. All get on great. Elder two help with the youngest and my 7 and 2 year old play great together.

One or the main benefits for me was that my eldest 2 were in nursery/school when my third was born so it was just the baby and I 9-3 and the same with baby 4 who was a surprise! I actually preferred this to the 2 under 2 phase. I would see where fate takes you. Good luck 🍀 🤞🏼

Thank you. Yes, there is 15 months between my two and the first year was one of the hardest in my life!