Should I stop ttc?

[Frog1004]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask for advice but I'll try anyway. Ive been ttc for a few months but recently I'm anxious about the decision. Firstly I have a condition which makes miscarriage more likely. I work FT as a teacher and I'm worried how this would affect me. The second thing is I have no extended family. Its just me and my husband. So I feel like if I did have a baby maybe I wouldn't cope with no help. I was so excited to start ttc but now I just feel a lot of anxiety. Has this happened to anyone else?

@Frog1004 i completely understand the feeling of being out of control especially if that is v important to you. I would try and control the controllables -

1. sorry to hear about the medical condition - unfortunately yoj can’t control this and options are either never try or try with the potential of a miscarriage. Even without your condition (early) miscarriages are very common anyway. A lot of it is just down to luck

2. re work - have you got a plan for Mat leave and when you come back ? Could you afford to go part time? Are your work supportive ? What in particular are you worried about? The positives with working jn a school is at least you will have the holidays off with your children which makes the having no family closeby but less of a problem than it could have been

3. having no family closeby will make it harder. Do you have good friends you can rely on? Most people form a little tribe of mums who either have kids similar time to them or kids go to the same nursery / school? I’ve just offered to be a friends birthing partner if needed as her DP will be away and she has no family closeby - I only met her through the nursery. It is weird but being pregnant / having a young kid does seem to open up a new community of women who want to help / understand the difficulties. Would moving closer to any family be an option? Doesn’t have to be done straight away.

if you’re feeling very y anxious maybe some talking therapies might help as being pregnant with hormones might make that anxiety feeling worse. But the flip side is you never know how you’re going to feel. If we all waited until it was perfect timing/ situations we would never have any children. Sometimes it is a bit of just suck it and see and cross whatever bridges when you come to it.

personally it’s the best thing I ever did (and the hardest) would never take it back - I say go for it (but make sure husband is on board and understands anxieties)