3rd Baby looking for advice

[USaYwHatNow]

Has anyone got any advice for getting over the fact/coming to terms with the thought that I may never feel like our family is complete?

We have a 3 year old (planned) and a 9 month old who came along a wee bit sooner than planned, however we always knew we'd have a second.

I was quite unwell with various pregnancy related conditions however even despite this, I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that my husband is against a 3rd.

We have the space (4 bed house, currently renovating), we could absolutely afford another baby but he still quotes expense as the reason against.

I appreciate that the 'no' gets the final vote but as my youngest is getting older I'm starting to feel panicky that I'll never go through all this again. I caught myself putting summer clothes away thinking oh that'll be okay for...then realised there'll be no sibling to pass them down to.

This is not a case of once I've had 3 I'll want 4, then 5 etc. I wouldn't want the kids to share a room (yes I know the next could be twins but really, the chance is slim) so I know in my heart a 3rd would be it for me.

Do I need therapy? To just get over it? Does everyone feel like this even when they feel like their family is complete? I don't want to make my husband feel upset or under any kind of pressure or like I'm trying to persuade him, but he keeps suggesting selling baby things and it makes me feel so sad.

In addition to this, he has agreed to wait a few years before vasectomy, and we are currently using NFP to prevent pregnancy.

Poke a hole in the condom

Terrible advice from a PP
it sounds like contraception isn’t being highly thought of, so it may happen?
I wanted a third badly after my second. We stuck with 2, my DH wasn’t keen and I’m so glad. Two healthy kids are amazing!
how old are you OP?

@Blueskies3 yeah I'm choosing to just ignore the pp. I'm not interested in trapping my husband lol. I mean, we didn't use contraception for the whole of our relationship prior to planning our first so for about 6 years. We're quite strict in our rules and don't generally take risks, I just got my dates mixed up with our second 🤣 so theoretically it shouldn't happen however I agree it's not completely fool proof.

I'm 33, soon 34 Yes, I keep saying the same thing, and I had very worrying pregnancies however I think being a midwife and looked after by colleagues who are like family, I tend to err on the 'oh it'll be okay' side of things.

You have got time OP, maybe have another discussion in 6 months?

Is your DP planning sex forever more without thinking about contraceptives?

Tell him you are done and to sort it himself And a deadline.

Then let nature take its course. And tell him.

He can get the snip if he’s so obliged.

It’s baby hormones. It will pass. You are currently a the thick of it. When you have teenagers with all the expense, worry and stress of that you will frequently say thank god we stopped at two. Our teens are lovely but we definitely feel this. Friends with 3 are flagging. You are doing the future 50 year old you a massive favour.