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2 replies

Kirsty198511 · 23/07/2025 09:16

Hi,
I’m usually a really upbeat person, but I’m feeling a bit deflated and just wanted to chat with others who might understand.

I’ve just turned 40 and have two lovely children, aged 10 and almost 13. My partner and I were over the moon to fall pregnant in December (his first), but sadly I miscarried at 10.5 weeks in February 2025.

What followed was a long and emotional few months — I bled for 9 weeks afterwards, and when I was finally taken in for surgery, they couldn’t carry it out due to a main vein feeding into the retained tissue. Thankfully, a week later, I passed it naturally.

I’ve had a private scan since then and was told everything looked good. I eventually started to ovulate again (confirmed by a peak on both the Clearblue Advanced Monitor and digital tests), which gave me a bit of hope.

This cycle, I had brown discharge mid-luteal phase, sore boobs, and all the hormonal signs that made me wonder if I might be pregnant. But today my period arrived — and it’s early, which has really knocked me.

I know these things can take time, and I’m grateful to have fallen pregnant easily in the past (my two children and even this recent pregnancy happened quickly). We’re both fit, eat well, barely drink… and I guess I just didn’t expect this to feel so hard.

Has anyone been in a similar boat — trying after 40, or after a late miscarriage with retained tissue? Any words of wisdom or reassurance would mean a lot. x

OP posts:
mamagogo1 · 23/07/2025 09:24

Hang in there, can take a few cycles to recover after miscarriage and that’s actually what the body needs. As far as hope, my in laws had given up hope, 4 years no baby then, much older than you, her period didn’t arrive and she thought menopause! Healthy 5 year old now, she was 6 years older than you when their dc arrived! The tracking, the testing etc didn’t help, they had stopped all of it, decided to quit their jobs the following year, rent out the house end go travelling, had even bought backpacks from the exhibition they went to. She swears that the ovulation test kits were giving them bad information and it’s only when they stopped dtd based on that data and went back to when they just wanted to she got pregnant. Food for thought that one!

try to relax, you are not that old and your body has done this twice before, fingers crossed it won’t be too long now

Kirsty198511 · 23/07/2025 14:18

mamagogo1, Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for sharing your in-law's story. You are right, I need to stop stressing over it all. x

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