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Dad not being involved

6 replies

YourKeenRubyOtter · 27/06/2025 12:54

Hello everyone.
My apology if this is the wrong thread.

I don t know whom to talk to so im relying on the forum.

My ex and i have known each other for 7 years and dated for 6 years.
He had no sperm so we decided to have kids through a sperm donor using IVF.
He s not much involve with the kids as he doesn t live in London with us and he doesn t help financially either.
He is European but since last years he has only been interested to East African women,he even travelled there last year and this year to meet girls and he is planning to relocate there for good next year.
He does nothing for the kids,i have to beg him to take them to the playground and even if he goes,it s only for 5 to 10 minutes.when he s here with us,he s always sleeping on putting earphones on saying that i nag a lot and the kids are making to much noise.
Wheh he is in his home country(Greece)! Cause that s where he stays now.he calls the kids through video call and after 5 minutes he is already bored and my daughter loves him a lot.
He claims to love the kids but when he has time off he prefers to go and meet girls in Africa instead of spending it with the kids.
He has decided to relocate cause according to him African girls in Africa are easy to deal with and we don t even know how often he will come to visit the kids.

Having the kids through Ivf with a donor was our mutual agreement and we paid for it together.

My question is should i completely cut ties with him as he saud his priority is to find a woman in Africa and live with her there.
He does nothing for the kids except the 5-10 minutes video call he does 4-5 days a week..

Im so confuse that i don t know what to do.
Can someone please advise me.

Many thanks

OP posts:
SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 27/06/2025 13:16

It doesn't sound like there are any ties to cut?

He's openly uninterested in your kids, doesn't pay for them, doesn't live with you, and is seeking out new girlfriends and emigrating.

YourKeenRubyOtter · 27/06/2025 13:47

Many thanks for your reply.
I guess that s what i will do.i felt bad for the kids.

He made a lot of sacrifices for me when we were together. but since talking and meeting girls in Africa he has changed a lot.
And he is always blaming me that the reason we could not work it s because i nag and i didn t appreciate him which is true in some part.but i wasn t expecting him to choose himself over the kids that he says he loves dearly.

And he told me that if i cut ties,it will traumatize the kids and they will blame me whem the grow.

And im also coming from a broken home so it affects a lot that my kids are living what i lived

OP posts:
SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 27/06/2025 13:50

Nothing will change in your kids lives, they'll be fine. Sone man who doesn't like them will do less video calls than he currently does. Zero loss.
You don't need to be in contact with him or give his opinions any thought.

Iamatwork · 27/06/2025 13:52

As long as you are a present loving Mum, your DC will grow to see him for the loser that he is. Why are you interested in this losers opinion?

YourKeenRubyOtter · 27/06/2025 14:03

Thanks a lot for your opinion

OP posts:
YourKeenRubyOtter · 27/06/2025 14:04

Many thanks for your opinion.

OP posts:
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