having another baby 42+

[HJ82]

Hi
looking for some general advice from mums who had a child at 42-45
I struggled to get preg with my DD (37 when I gave birth) got pregnant accidently at 41. Didn't keep it. Just turned 43 partnered (he's much younger) and thinking to take the leap... if we can of course. We both have a kid already from previous relationships...he has expressed wanting one together, though in this financial climate and world, I am feeling like it might be selfish to have another. Plus obvs worried about risks at my big age. I am very fit and healthy. Looking for pros and cons. Only hear success stories on socials. I am 50/50 on this decision. I know it's individual. Just curious to hear others experience being an older older mum.

Well I'm only 3 years in from having had a child (naturally) at 45 (I'm 48 now, DH is younger than me). Pros - I love having my toddler and he gets on well with/adores older sibling (8), it's lovely watching him learn and develop. Cons - am in perimenopause now and I am knackered all the time. I try to keep up but it's hard. I manage maybe an hour of play, although I'm not naturally maternal/good at playing (much as I wanted DC) so maybe I would have been the same if I'd had them 10 or 20 years ago, I've no way of knowing. Whilst risks of abnormalities are higher you are still more likely to have a healthy child than not. I worry about still being around when they are older, and whether they will find having an "old mum" a burden but I can't do anything about it so just have to try and stay as healthy as I can. So far there are no downsides for myself (other than tiredness, but that would have happened anyway). For DC well it remains to be seen 🤷‍♀️ not very helpful apologies!