DH doesn't want anymore children

Cpmumx · 2025-05-19T13:30:57+00:00

My doesnt want another child but I really do! We only have one & always dreamed of having another baby! How do we over come this b

Didntask · 19/05/2025 14:33

You have to reconcile that you won't be having anymore children with him. You shouldn't have to convince someone to have a child with you. If you want more children, you'll have to leave and find someone else to have them with. As much as it's your prerogative to want more children, it's his to not.

Purplecatshopaholic · 19/05/2025 14:36

You are both entitled to your feelings on this. Unfortunately there is no compromise. So if you want the relationship, you stick with the one you have. If you want another, you will need to leave and find someone else to have another baby with.

S0j0urn4r · 19/05/2025 14:38

Do not even contemplate getting 'accidentally' pregnant.

Snorlaxo · 19/05/2025 14:40

Is he getting a vasectomy if he’s so sure?

Original poster

Cpmumx · 19/05/2025 14:41

Purplecatshopaholic · 19/05/2025 14:36

You are both entitled to your feelings on this. Unfortunately there is no compromise. So if you want the relationship, you stick with the one you have. If you want another, you will need to leave and find someone else to have another baby with.

No he is refusing to get one! I'm having trouble on my contraceptive and need get something else. I suggested the " snip" and he refuses

OP posts:

Original poster

Cpmumx · 19/05/2025 14:42

S0j0urn4r · 19/05/2025 14:38

Do not even contemplate getting 'accidentally' pregnant.

No he is refusing to get one! I'm having trouble on my contraceptive and need get something else. I suggested the " snip" and he refuses

OP posts:

cordeliavorkosigan · 19/05/2025 14:46

He can take charge of the contraception. He does not get to insist that you use any form of birth control that is not working for you. Whether you want more DC or not! But especially as you do, it's incredibly thoughtless and insensitive to think he gets to insist you continue. Stop them immediately , and tell him. He can get the snip. He can use condoms.

2024onwardsandup · 19/05/2025 14:47

Cpmumx · 19/05/2025 14:41

No he is refusing to get one! I'm having trouble on my contraceptive and need get something else. I suggested the " snip" and he refuses

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Well then he runs the risk of a pregnancy which he knows you won’t terminate or no sex

i can’t bear men who don’t care about the impact of birth control on their partners

Ponderingwindow · 19/05/2025 14:50

If he isn’t getting a vasectomy then he isn’t that serious about only having one child. You don’t have to stay on birth control that isn’t working for you. Your only obligation is to let him know your birth control status so he can decide to proceed with sex or not.

that said, if one person doesn’t want a baby, it typically means that you are done growing your family. It’s two yes or one no.

mintydoggyv · 19/05/2025 15:18

Is he worried about the money side of things is he about to be made redundant or anything or are there other reasons. Him not taking precautions is not good for you or him .As Mr starmer is on about cutting child benifits to one child . Could that be a reason money morgage ,rent , food clothes etc for a baby

Readytohealnow · 19/05/2025 15:30

My dh doesn’t want another child

so this is where it ends. Enjoy and be grateful for your lovely healthy child, which is way more than what many others have.

SweeneyToddIer · 19/05/2025 15:34

Readytohealnow · 19/05/2025 15:30

My dh doesn’t want another child

so this is where it ends. Enjoy and be grateful for your lovely healthy child, which is way more than what many others have.

Why the certainty that OP’s child is “healthy”? She hasn’t said anything about that aspect.

OP, out of interest, does “CP” in your username denote anything in particular?

Jujujudo · 19/05/2025 15:54

I was in the reverse situation. We had one child and it was a difficult birth/PND and a lot of fertility treatments. I was done. I was also getting old so I didn’t even consider going for another. My H kept on at me and eventually so did my son, and I was very undecided but felt guilty that I was stopping them from having another child/sibling. When I was 42 and my son was 7 I eventually agreed to do one treatment and told them that if it didn’t work that was that. I got pregnant and was shocked! But I had made my decision based on my own conditions and I had support in place etc.
Now they’re 16 and 9 and I’m very happy that I gave in. However, if I had been absolutely against it I wouldn’t have done it. After all, I was the one who had to carry the pregnancy, give birth and then be the main caretaker - I knew I was going to have to be at peace with the outcome. Don’t do it unless you can reckon with yourself and be sure. If you are absolute then you have your answer, but if you’re not sure, then take time to think. I don’t know how old you are but that’s a consideration too.

jolota · 19/05/2025 15:57

This is why I was very clear before getting into a serious relationship with my husband that I wanted 2 kids and it was a dealbreaker for me.
He wasn't 100% on our second because the reality of having kids is harder than he anticipated but we agreed to try just later than originally planned. If he had been really against it I would have had to accept 1 child because actually now, I wouldn't have broken up our family out of desire for a second child, despite how I might have felt initially.
We have friends where the wife wanted 3 kids, the husband wants to stop after 1 but she said she'd leave him if they didn't try for a second. So they are trying for a second but she has said that even if the stress of the second child resulted in divorce/breaking up the family, it would be worth it.
So it depends how strongly you feel, how important this really is to you.
I don't agree with him taking no responsibility for contraception though.
My husband is getting a vasectomy because I can't go back on the pill due to side effects etc.

MostlyHappyMummy · 19/05/2025 15:59

Why are you using contraception when it's your husband who doesn't want another child? Surely condoms are the answer if he won't have the snip?

Bonmot57 · 21/05/2025 15:34

jolota · 19/05/2025 15:57

This is why I was very clear before getting into a serious relationship with my husband that I wanted 2 kids and it was a dealbreaker for me.
He wasn't 100% on our second because the reality of having kids is harder than he anticipated but we agreed to try just later than originally planned. If he had been really against it I would have had to accept 1 child because actually now, I wouldn't have broken up our family out of desire for a second child, despite how I might have felt initially.
We have friends where the wife wanted 3 kids, the husband wants to stop after 1 but she said she'd leave him if they didn't try for a second. So they are trying for a second but she has said that even if the stress of the second child resulted in divorce/breaking up the family, it would be worth it.
So it depends how strongly you feel, how important this really is to you.
I don't agree with him taking no responsibility for contraception though.
My husband is getting a vasectomy because I can't go back on the pill due to side effects etc.

Your friend is extremely selfish in trampling over her husband’s wishes, and thinks it is ‘worth it’ to potentially inflict a broken home/resentful parent on a child who deserves to be wanted, not used as a bargaining chip.