Wanting a 3rd child

[twinmama2022]

I’m looking for advice on the pros and cons of having a third… my first two were twins so a baptism of fire. They’re nearly 3 and I have this longing for a third all of a sudden…

The birth with my twins was quite traumatic and medically dangerous, so I’m conscious of that but logistically I think I could do it.

any advice on what it was like going from 2 to 3? DH needs a lot of persuading, he’s terrified what happened at the first birth could happen again and a part of me thinks all things considered I should be happy with what I have.

does wanting more ever go away? Or is it always there no matter how many you have?

Watching - as I have no advice, but I have two with a 12 month age gap. Eldest is 3 now and it’s been a pretty painful few years but I cant help but wonder…….and hope this urge goes away?!? Because I’m scared if it doesn’t and I miss the boat

I’m in the same boat… have a 3 year old and 18 month old. Second birth was traumatic and we were in NiCU for two weeks. Still, I’m desperate for a third baby. Husband spent about 10 minutes thinking we both might die and doesn’t want to go through it all again… Adamant 😢 … However, alls well that ends well and everyone is fine. I’m worried I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t even get the chance to try…

I have 3 m. A 4 year old, 3 year old and a 3 month old.

i always wanted 3 but we were worried it would be too much. So far the biggest issue as been needing a bigger car! Easiest birth (first was awful - PPH, C-section, ITU etc), and she’s just slotted into our family. Easiest post partum period.

did wonder if breastfeeding would be an issue as I have 2 more to care for but so far so good!!

Don’t do it

I find it interesting this urge for a third child. Many many years ago I had my DS and 20 months later my DD. We decided that was it, I was not great at being pregnant and had difficult births. But, I had this gnawing voice in the back of my mind that someone was missing for a year and a half.
Despite using contraception I found I was pregnant and we were both delighted once we got over the shock. My 3rd child was born after another difficult pregnancy and labour and never again did I hear that voice telling me someone was missing.
My husband had the snip to ensure we had no more surprises but we could not imagine our lives without our youngest daughter.

Think of the planet.

We had a single now 15 then another now 4 and twins now 3 but my experience was very different all home births and no problems..I would very happily have had more but sadly 3months after the twins I got covid and it has left me with health problems I never had so we decided 4 is enough now

Oh come to think of it the only problem was a car we had to get 2 bigger cars lol 😆

I can’t speak for your medical issues and you certainly need to weigh that into your decision.

All I can say is I had 3 close together and it is just the best thing ever. Anecdotally, the happiest families I see are 1 child families or 3 child families.

2 can be a very dangerous dynamic- fine if they get on but far too intense if they don’t. The unhappiest families I know have 2 kids who hate each other.

3 adds all sorts of other combos and everyone gets a turn of being part of a group, ignored or blissfully left alone. Loathing and hatred seems to be diluted because it’s not 2 kids fixing their eyes of Sauron on each other without a break.

Car seats are a pain in the rear. Holidays get tricky and more expensive. School runs can be a nightmare, although having kids close together minimises the times they are in multiple education settings.

That said, 3 is the charm!

3 is really really really really hard work.

I have 4. Always wanted four and KNEW I was done. When you know you know

I have 3 except for me the twins were children 2 and 3. I love having a busy life but 3 is an awkward number. I wish I could have rounded off the numbers at 4. The twins are very much a unit so my singleton often feels very left out

Sooooo glad we stopped at 2.

Nearly out the other side and friends with 3 are just really over it. Teen years x3 whilst in peri menopause is pretty brutal. You lose your caring hormones too. No way would I want to to do this again for a third time. Craving doing my own thing. Then 3 sets of university fees having to worry about 3 people getting their lives on track. Just no. As my friend with 3 said the other day “I did not fucking think this through”.

Go for it. I think twins is SUCH a different experience to having a single child that in some ways it would be like having a second although of course it would be a third baby if that makes sense. A family of five is lovely. ☺️

Not much “loathing and hatred” here our two get on really well despite being quite different often hear gales of laughter from upstairs.

We’ve been able to do much more as a family bring a tight unit of 4. As a family we like expensive things like eating out theatre and city breaks so glad only 4 of us. The big tribe “we like camping and sharing an apple”would not work for us.

We have 3 who are now 10, 7 and 2.5. So quite big age gaps (due to infertility). Always wanted 3. The longing for a baby disappeared after no.3, I'm loving selling all the baby stuff now!
Logistics is the biggest shift - you're outnumbered, and we have literally no downtime as eldest stays up late doing homework and toddler gets up at the crack of dawn. We are in a constant haze of taxiing kids to parties, clubs, playdates etc. But it's wonderful and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks so much for everyone’s responses ☺️ really appreciate it and given me a lot to think about!

Depends how much you love parenting I guess!

@TheaBrandt1i enjoy parenting… hence the conundrum about a third.