Don't want to get pregnant

[Queenofkittens]

Me and DH have 3 wonderful children and we are very sure we are done with having kids due to age/finances/space etc. The issue is I refuse to have anymore contraception, I'm now 35, have been on the pill/implant/injection over the years and since having my third baby 2 years ago nothing feels right I get awful headaches/sickness which only goes once I come off them. I've asked DH to get the snip and he's really not comfortable with the idea, he says he knows it's the right thing to do, to basically take responsibility on his side, but he says the idea of it makes him feel sick and also he will feel 'less of a man' which I've said is ridiculous but I also know I cannot push him to have a procedure he really isn't happy with as if it were the other way round it wouldn't be okay either. My question is, at the moment we are using condoms but seriously worried how effective they are? To get pregnant worries me so much because we don't want anymore but I don't think I could have an abortion, I just don't want to find ourselves in that situation. I know there are hormone free coils but the idea of that also makes me uncomfortable and I just don't want it. Has anyone ever been able to use condoms safely or do you think getting pregnant on them is more common than we know?

Used properly they are very effective, but yes there is still a chance. I would have another look at a copper coil and see if you think it might work for you after all, or if you are very regular with your cycle I would track your fertile periods and avoid these as well as using condoms.

Copper coil has been a game changer for me after a lifetime of hormonal contraception. I don’t have to think about anything.

Can you still get diaphragms? These can be used alongside condoms.

you can also combine condom use with the rhythm method where you track ovulation and avoid even safe sex on those days.

also you could keep a emergency contraceptive pill at home in case a condom breaks.

or you could consider tubal ligation.

but really he should get the snip.

could he speak to a counsellor about it?

I'd use the condoms with a diaphragm and spermacide.

I did all the preventing. Then I did all the IVF. The pregnancies,Then the miscarriages. The D&Cs, the CSections. My H had the vasectomy. He was back at work within 48 hours and totally pain free within a week.

Copper coil has been great for me and would really recommend it if you'd give it a second thought. I was so sensitive to hormonal contraception, I felt really awful all the time. It was like a cloud lifted when I switched to the copper coil. Periods were heavier initially but settled down to normal cycle and just feeling like myself. Husband is desperate to have the snip. Once we found out I was pregnant the second time, he self referred because it's a two year wait! I'm contemplating a copper coil to fill the gap between second baby and that happening. Once it's in, you don't need to think about it and can last 10 years.

Oh I don't know about diaphragms or spermicide I'll look now!