Warning this is an entitled thread and I am sorry for triggering anyone battling with infertility.
I am part of a friend's circle, there are only a few of us and we have been friends for over 20 years. We are in our early 40s now. I was the first to have children, my children are aged 9 and 7. For a long time, up until my second was around 4, I badly wanted a third. My husband wasn't keen, but then he suffered ill-health and a diagnosis of a chronic illness, that was the result of a previous sickness. This then sealed us not having three. I know ALL the reasons for having two kids. My head is firm that this was the right decision.
My friend is having her third. And I have had a massive wobble. I feel a little sad, angry and envious. She is a SAHM and I have always worked, albeit part time (yes, grateful for that as well). I am wondering how our friendship will go. She made comments about only breast feeding- that is what real mothers' do. I bottle fed. She has also made comments that she could never leave her children. I did. I guess I have always felt less than her, even if that is in my head. She is a wonderful and doting mother and deserves this happiness. But to get past my own time of baby-stage I can't really handle catching up and hearing about pregnancies, babies, or even having catch ups centred around this. My friend has found it difficult to catch up with her three and five year old, we only recently started catching up for coffee again. And the focus is always of the kids, which is great. However, it doesn't help my mental health because I need to talk about other things. I have generalised anxiety disorder, and am ND, and always feel I could be a better parent. My friend is a super mum, and is very attentive, being a Mum isn't hard at all to her.
I have congratulated her, but am wondering how I proceed in this friendship. She is a lovely person, I am well-aware it is my own issue.
How do you maintain friendships when you are at different stages and are time poor?