Children Custody help

[Naomixoxo]

I’ve spilt up with my partner and they are demanding me to have our children every weekend (Friday-Monday). I will collect after work Friday afternoon, 5pm and drop off Monday morning before work (7.30am).

They are also demanding that all school holidays are done 50/50 which I would love too however I don’t have enough annual leave. Background I work full time & ex doesn’t work. I am also paying off a lot of debt we got into meaning I can not afford Nursery/schools for 3 children.

At first we agreed to me having two nights during the week (every week) and every other weekend. However they are demanding that I have to have our children during the day and I can’t afford childcare just yet (due to debt). I asked if my ex would have them during the day whilst I work and they said no. If I have them during the week, I have to cover childcare cost even though they don’t work.

My ex now is demanding me to have all 3 children Friday through to Monday morning and spilt the school half terms 50/50 which I can’t do due to not having enough annual leave.

I don’t know what to do or what to suggest me please help.

my children are 5, 3 & 1 (only one child in school).

Well if you can't agree you go to mediation then court to decide.

There's two separate issues here. One is the week in week out bit and one is the holidays.

Are you suggesting 50/50 but two nights each week and every other weekend? How do you manage for child care on your nights? Does your 3 year old get funded hours at nursery?

If you can't manage child care on your nights is it not better that you have the weekends?

Re holidays.. this is the same for all parents. Hardly anyone has enough annual leave to cover 13 weeks per year. But covering half doesn't seem to be unreasonable. Do you have family support/grandparents involved who can help? Are their council run holiday clubs for the eldest?

The point is your ex can't dictate and if you can't agree you need to go to court. But you also need to be a parent. Presumably ex will need to get a job to live so can't be your childcare forever.

We have done Meditation (1 session together & separate sessions) however my ex is refuses to pay towards it. So far I’ve paid for all sessions.

For context, my ex gets £1500 pm in UC plus PIP. I asked about the likelihood of them getting a job in order for us to qualify for funded hours for the 2 youngest and they refused and said no.

Originally the agreement was 2 nights during the week plus EOW and ex would have the 2 youngest whilst I work. We do qualify for 15 hours for the 3 year old however my ex uses these hours and has the account. I’m not sure if I can have a separate account and also get the funded hours as I am a working parent.

For Summer Holidays, I have agreed, to spilt Easter, Christmas and 2 weeks in Summer plus all bank holidays. I don’t have family to help for Feb, May & October half term. I totally understand spilling them 50/50, I’m just trying to understand how other people manage it.