Best age gap for a family of 3 children? (33f)

[Peekaboo07]

Hello mumsnetters :)

would like your suggestions and/or personal experiences,

my husband and I would like 3 children in total,
what were the age gaps that worked well for your family and how are the dynamics between the children?

I am 33 years old, so conscious that I don’t want to make the gaps tooo wide, however would like to plan (if possible) according to best outcomes for the children to thrive, get enough attention from me as well as be able to play together?

we currently have a 9 month old daughter and I’m on maternity leave, I do work full time however flexible working is an option and daycare is also an option, taking time out, or working part time is also an option

thank you x

Your body needs about 18 months to recover between births. So I'd suggest that as a minimum. No guarantees you will get pregnant as easily as you'd like.
I'd consider cost of childcare and loss of earning too. If you are taking all the leaves, make sure to top up your pension.

Babies and children are individuals, there’s no one size fits all. Some have big gaps, some small, some love their siblings, some don’t, some love their parents and some don’t - it’s not about age gaps. Just have them when you’re emotionally, financially, and physically ready.

Another factor is that if you’re not back at work long enough before going off again some employers can ask for some of your maternity pay back. You need to check how that works.

I have 2ish years between my first two then just under 4 between the second and third. It gave us a bit of a breather and time to get back into the swing of work. But then on the flip side its been harder going back to baby mode and the gap feels big at the moment (but I'm guessing this should get easier over time). I found going from 0 to 1 children the hardest, and 1 to 2 children pretty easy. 2 to 3 has been trickier but nothing like the 0 to 1 bombshell 😂.

I think whatever age gap you get ends up feeling right for your family, as you end up not knowing any differently. And so much depends on so many individual factors, especially the temperament and needs of each child. I'd wait and see how you find having two children and how you enjoy family life before you decide. There's no right answer for these things, just choices with endless possible uncontrollable outcomes.

Also I'm in my mid thirties now and wouldn't want to have babies in my 40s, but that's just me. Plenty of women do without issues.