What to do about job

[Lostmum112]

Hi there,

any advice would be much appreciated…

I have two wonderful children and I am due to return to work very soon, after my second maternity leave. Husbands supports my wish for a career break and it looks like my manager will approve it. There’s just one problem. I don’t know if I’m done having children. It’s not something I can discuss with my husband as it is simply too early after the last one. It’s not the time to bring on additional stress and I know right now if I did that this could start a big long drawn out argument / distance between us. Long story short I think he’s done but I’m just not sure.
If I go with the career break, it would mean if I did fall pregnant during this time that I will get no maternity benefit. age is not on my side so I cannot wait until I return to work to fall pregnant again.
I feel anxious with the idea of moving forward, but I don’t see what the alternative options are. I’m not prepared to go back to work again, when my two actual children are so young. I just feel sad that I’m not more happy about the fortunate opportunity that I’ve been given. I don’t want to talk to friends about this , when I am choosing not to even talk to my husband about it.
has anyone else been in this position? What did you do?

I think this should be a join decision between you and your husband as the consequences either way will affect the whole family.

Sounds bonkers that you can't/won't have this conversation with your DH. You can't make this decision alone, it has to include you both.

I’m afraid to say, however much you want to avoid the discussion, you really can’t make the best decision without talking to partner first.

It doesn’t need to be an intense conversation, you can lightly ask him, what do you think the future holds for us in terms of more children? Both of you can agree your opinions may change in the future too .. I mean it’s not like you’re requesting another baby right now either!

another point to note, you mention you already have 2 very young children, and you really don’t want to go back to work right now. Maybe prioritise your needs right NOW, IF you decide to have more children in future, you could then go back to work first before starting to try again?

can you take a sabbatical from work instead of leaving ?

lastly, even if you don’t qualify for OMP if not working, you may still be entitled to maternity allowance if it’s within a certain time frame, you need to go on the gov.uk website to work it out (if and when the time arises!)