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Family planning

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Original poster

Is it too late to find a husband at 28?

27 replies

marie78280 · 19/03/2025 09:58

s it too late to find a husband at 28?
hey folks.
i just got out of a 2 year relationship, thought he was the one.
i really want to start a family some day. Everything else is already established in my life, i have my degrees and a job that i love.
it just feels like i missed the train in the personal department.
is there any chance i will still find a suitable partner to start a family with at the age of 28 ?

OP posts:

oldwhyno · 19/03/2025 09:59

definitely not too late, far from it! pull on your FMB's and get out there!

YourBestFriend · 19/03/2025 10:02

Absolutely too late. No woman older than 28 has ever found a husband.

Comedycook · 19/03/2025 10:05

Yes, way too late...no woman in the history of the world has found a husband after the age of 28 and started a family.

Seriously op?!

suah · 19/03/2025 10:06

You’ve been reading too much Jane Austen if you think this is a concern

SaltedCaramelBlondie · 19/03/2025 10:09

I didn't meet my husband until I was 29, and know many people who settled down later.
I realise that when you're approaching 30 it feels as though time is ticking away and you're impatient to have what your friends have but you really are still so young! There's plenty of time to meet the right person.

BobbyBiscuits · 19/03/2025 10:12

Of course not?! How bizarre to even suggest it. Plenty of people don't find the right person and decide to start a family before their mid 30s or even later. And even if you were 45 you could still hurt onto a new meaningful relationship. Or 75 for that matter!

TheAmusedQuail · 19/03/2025 10:14

Not too late, but a lot of the good men will be coupled up by now, often with women they met at uni. A friend had a similar issue. Left settling down until her mid-30s and was shocked to find that men of a similar age to her all had a major 'issue' of some kind. Work-shy, no financial stability, uneducated, man-children, incels etc etc. She finally 'settled' for a guy who had a prison record. To be fair, he seems to have turned his life around, but it she had to make a major adjustment of attitude of what she wanted (professional, financially stable, own home etc) and what she could find.

Likeagreatcardi · 19/03/2025 10:15

On the shelf , an old maid ! Seriously it's 2025 , not 1925 !
If your relationship is newly ended , don't look to jump immediately into a new one. Take time for yourself first.
I was almost aged 39 when I met my now dh .
A friend has just become a first time mum at 41.
You'll be fine .

Rosybud88 · 19/03/2025 10:16

No way! I met my husband at 32, married at 33, babies at 35 and 36! You have plenty of time!

BobbyBiscuits · 19/03/2025 10:32

BobbyBiscuits · 19/03/2025 10:12

Sorry, typo, start a new relationship not hurt!

Cynic17 · 19/03/2025 10:35

You can find a husband at 88, FFS! And if you want kids, you've probably got 15 years left.
But don't marry a man just to tick a box and have a baby - that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

museumum · 19/03/2025 10:39

No way - and in my experience it's easier when a little older to meet an actual adult man who has run his own life and household, knows there is no laundry fairy and can cook.

katmarie · 19/03/2025 12:02

I was 34 when I met my husband, 36 with one dc between us when we married, and now we have another and have been married 7 years.

I felt a lot like you did, I came out of a 10 year relationship before I met DH, and thought that was it for me, on the marriage and kids front. I decided to focus on me and what was important to me, so I travelled some, focused on building up my career, and went back to university via the OU, something I had always wanted to do. I met DH along the way and when I found him I was in a much happier place with myself than I ever was with my ex.

Also, because of all that focus on me and my needs, when I met DH I had a much better idea of what I wanted in life, and what kind of person I wanted to share my life with. So when I found DH, I was a lot more decisive about him being the right one for me once I got to know him well enough.

Don't give up, but try not to worry so much about meeting that right person, and focus more on making your life the one you want it to be, make yourself the happiest and most confident you can be in your life and your choices. That is the best advice I can offer.

sel2223 · 19/03/2025 19:16

Too late at 28? Is that a joke? I want even thinking about marriage and kids in my 20's....I was far too busy travelling the world and building a career/ paying off a mortgage.

I met my husband in my mid 30's, first child at 37 and about to have our secund at 42.

28 is so young

trufflesandolives · 19/03/2025 19:38

It might require some flexibility in terms of ticking all the boxes as those who have them all ticked tend to have ticked the serious relationship box by now. I actually don't find obsessive box tickers particularly attractive anyway so I wouldn't be upset about missing out on those. I met my DH at 28 and had just tweaked my search on tinder to include men up to 10(!) years older than me and I also added a note to self when swiping that their profile must mention some form of creativity as that's important to me. When I came across my DH's profile I was shocked as he was the most handsome man I'd seen in a long time so much so that I didn't notice he was indeed 10 years older than me..! Thankfully he was creative too. We met and he looked like his pictures and as we got to know each other I learnt that he'd lost his career and a long term relationship so I was apprehensive... I was in a hurry to find someone who was ready to do it all. But what made us a couple in the end was the fact that our values aligned and he was very determined to forge a new career and life (and I saw that he was an interesting and intelligent human being). So my point is that it wasn't clean cut tick tick tick it was a nuanced situation and I had to use my head as well as my heart in order to see the potential of our future. One more thing - try and use this as an opportunity to find someone that really aligns with your true self since I'm sure you've gotten to know yourself a lot better than you did when you met your ex. I hope my essay helped

FaithFables · 19/03/2025 19:43

My DSD met her husband when she was 28, she'd just come out of an abusive relationship. She's 32 now and they have an almost 3 year old.

My sister met her husband when she was 31. They've been married for 10 years and have 2 boys.

28 is still young!

VeryNiceDay · 19/03/2025 19:47

I met my husband at 28 and we are now 49 and still married, so I would say that you are at the perfect age.

I mean, to be honest, it takes a bit of time to figure out what's what in life, so once you've got to 28 you probably have a really good idea of what you want and need. I think that to form a marriage that will last, it's probably a really really good age.

I only managed the one child, but he is a very good one. :-)

Good luck!

Mothersruin123 · 19/03/2025 19:49

Absolutely not. I met my husband when we were both 38.

latetothefisting · 19/03/2025 19:52

Way too late, you may as well check into a nunnery now

Il give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're just a bit self absorbed, but maybe have a think about how someone older than you might feel reading that?

MaggieBsBoat · 19/03/2025 19:55

You’re screwed OP. All the men in that age range are either already married, gay, sex criminals or in a religious sect that disallows sex. 28 is way too old. You should’ve jacked in the optimism at 25 I’m afraid. Sad.

Mumof1andacat · 19/03/2025 20:02

No. Friend of mine meet her husband at 34. Had a baby at 37 and married at 39. All very happy for everyone 😊

MrsSunshine2b · 19/03/2025 20:06

This is much too old, especially if you reside in a damp and draughty cottage in rural England in the 1850s. Even if you did find a husband, your time with him would be short as you only have a few years until the consumption takes you.

fashionqueen0123 · 19/03/2025 20:07

I think it’s a valid question. I remember when I was that age everyone was getting married and having babies or trying for them, so I would have felt panicked too in your situation. Also because people were always saying your fertility starts to decline around 35, so it didn’t feel like long to meet someone (who didn’t come with a lot of baggage or issues) at that age and then be together long enough, get married, etc before even trying for a family.
It’s not too old though. Definitely not! But I can understand your feelings.

Avoidingfacebookforabit · 19/03/2025 20:11

I felt like this when I broke up with someone at 28. Used to lie awake feeling very sad that I wasn't going to have a family. Now at 39 I'm with a husband I'm much more compatible with and have two lovely daughters . Sure it will be the same for you if that's what you want in life xx

Stanwyck · 19/03/2025 20:15

I met mine at 31. He’s a catch but divorced after a young marriage so there is that baggage. Like others have said, we’ve all lived a life by this point. It just depends what you will and won’t prioritise.

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