i have just gone 38 and have 3dc, 4, 2 and 3 months (all boys). I am thinking about a 4th but interested in experiences of those who already have 4 dc only please.
if I were younger I would allow a bit of a gap as I have had kids quite close together already but Im against time
now. Fortunately my pregnancies and births were straightforward and our kids are healthy (as are we).
I was set on having 3 but my dh originally brought up this topic of a 4th when I was pregnant with my 3rd he was kind of joking originally as we always agreed on 3 but I think he may actually be keen deep down and now he checks in on my thoughts about it. Now I have had a 3rd I still don’t feel ‘done’, I really have this longing that I want more (not influenced by what my DH said). Perhaps I want a girl even though I know it doesn’t work like that and would be fine with another ds.
We are financially secure, my husband has a really good job and I am quite high up in the public sector (wfh 50/50) which I am actually fine to reduce, we have good savings plan for our dc and good pension plans. We own our 4 bed house and have a 7 seater car (plus other car for running around). We have plenty of holidays abroad and can afford them, grandparents can join us too.
My DH works away frequently but is very hands on when he is home, he has quite a protective role of us all so I am busy lone with kids a lot. Don’t really have much day to day help but grandparents come for weekends when needed.
i love motherhood and I thrive from being busy juggling things. In fact, people comment on how easy I make it look (it’s not!) and how do I look so good (on the outside maybe lol!). Don’t get me wrong I can get stressed and I am a not perfect parent but isn’t this normal with 3 young kids. I do sacrifice things for myself which I am totally fine with as I know I will be able to get this back in the future, I love my new identity. I am looking forward to my 4 year old starting school so I can make new connections. We do lots of activities with our kids and invest in 1:1 time with them as much as we can but as our kids are close in age we can embrace doing lots of things together that the kids enjoy. I do worry I would compromise this. I also worry about not having enough hands being out and about.
sorry I’m rambling on but my heart is fighting my head. Does anyone have 4 kids close in age?how do you make it work? please don’t comment on what if a 4th has special needs (that’s with any pregnancy) and I have experienced pregnancy loss so i am not naive to that. Please don’t comment on climate change either with more kids as I follow Elon Musks theory!