I’m pregnant and booking a termination

[AdviceNeeded919]

Hello

I have irregular periods but think we can pin conception down to around 3-4 weeks ago. I found out this morning I am pregnant not perimenopausal.

I don't want to write too much but there is a lot of basis for my choice to have an abortion so my post isn't about advice on making that decision.

I am going to contact BPAS as that came up in a search and is local. Has anybody used them for help with arranging an abortion? Are they a good service to use? I am around 3-4 weeks but would consider a surgical abortion to have it over with under sedation or anaesthetic.

I want to ask about whether it is a good idea to seek support from people close to you. I have some good friends, but everyone has their own opinions on other people's lives and choices and especially something so sensitive. My Husband will struggle to support me through this. I don't want to upset them or be judged harshly. Shall I keep this to myself?

Thank you if you read this far

Oh OP I would honestly confide in a close friend if you have one. I haven’t personally had a termination but one of my best friends has, she needed the support from us (and we were happy to give it) as her partner too wasn’t the most supportive through the process. I do appreciate some people have strong views on abortion but at least in my friendship group we rally round a friend who needs us no matter what the reason. Don’t suffer alone if you don’t have to. Good luck x

Yes I had one at BPAS.

I really don't think I was offered sedation though, just local anaesthetic injections in the cervix (which I honestly didn't even feel). I was just under 6 weeks, and I was in the room for less than 10 mins, actual procedure was probably done in under 3 mins. I've had more uncomfortable smear tests (but I had given birth so I don't know if that helped with my cervix being more "open").

I chose surgical because I just wanted to procedure done and confirmed. I'm too much of a worrier about medical things to be doing something like that at home. But I know some people would prefer to be at home than awake and unsedated for the surgical option.

I think BPAS also offer counselling so they may help as someone to talk to. I didn't talk to any friends about it, but DH was very supportive. But it was also just at the end of the first lockdown, most things were still shut and I don't think you could really meet up, so I didn't really see anyone anyway.
BPAS were extremely good about me preferring the surgical option though, even though pills by post was a possibility at that point. They didn't push to avoid face to face.

Thank you for replying. I have this evening gone and spoken to two very close friends. We all have teenagers so they understood where I was coming from with starting again not to mention my ill health. It was a relief to know I have some other ladies to talk to. My Husband won't mean to put his foot in it but he struggles to know what to say and that's if he doesn't say something massively inappropriate.
I have literally had so many thoughts racing through my head today. I am trying so hard not to think of it as it may be in the future. I've thought about offering it to a family I know can't conceive, gosh the guilt from that on my mind, I thought about when it would be due, who it would look like . All the things I didn't want to consider. It would be good to get it over with asap. A week until the scan and consultation feels too long. It's next weds.

Thank you for your reply.
I made an appointment with BPAS for next weds. I have to have a scan and a consultation. I said I didn't want counselling until after. I don't want the scan and now I've done a test that says 2-3 weeks (they'll say from LMP which was over 5 though) I think I'll tell them that so we can avoid it.

Thank you for the info. I will find out about the injections. It may be that if it's that quick, I will just go with that. I saw someone said that to have the surgical abortion, you should be over 9 weeks so they may not allow me to at this stage.

@AdviceNeeded919 I was just under 6 weeks and that was pretty much the earliest they were willing to do a surgical abortion. I'm not sure why but there definitely was a point where it's too early to do.

My consultation was over the phone and I didn't have a scan until the day, presumably due to lockdown. They didn't do the scan until immediately before and during the procedure, just to confirm the location of the pregnancy (maybe that's why they can't do surgical abortions too early, they wouldn't be able to tell if the pregnancy was ectopic if it was too small to see), and I didn't have to look at the screen at all. They continued the scan during the procedure I think - the surgeon was using it to see.

Thank you. Yes, I think you are right about needing to be able to see where it is. Complications can arise from ectopics in particular I think I read.

I will be having the scan on weds and then if want to, I believe I can take the progesterone reducing pill whilst there if I am having the tablets or leave and come back for the surgical part.

I've felt very flat today as this is sinking in. I'm trying to think of how I can look after myself mentally in particular, after this is over, as I am worried I will struggle with hormones and sadness. I had PND and have struggled with complex PTSD and anxiety for many, many years. For which I have treatment. How did you look after yourself in the run up and after? Do you mind sharing?

Hi all,

I am booked for a surgical abortion with BPAS. I had a pre op assessment and a scan.

I have been asked to take a Mifepristone tablet before the procedure to soften my cervix. Did you have to do this? If so, what was your experience? X