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Unsettled about a family pregnancy

1 reply

Willsoo · 08/09/2024 14:40

Hi,

Has anyone ever felt upset by a sibling in their family being pregnant? Please don't judge and be kind before I write this.

To give some background briefly, my sister and I have had an up/down relationship. We aren't particularly close, but do things now and again with our children. We come from a background with lots of women around us. My mum is one of 6 sisters, most of our cousins are girls, and I think, silly I know, but we assumed we would both have daughters of our own.

My younger sister has two boys and so do I. They play together nicely and we occasionally do things together, although it seems to have become less and less recently. The elephant in the room is that we would both love daughters. Perhaps I do more than her. I've always dreamt of that prom dress shopping, getting our nails done etc. We love our boys so much but we can't help feel a void in our lives.

Recently I have felt I would love to have a 3rd. My husband has said no, for now. But it seems like a solid no. It's really upset me. I do understand partly though it's been a tough year for us. We moved to the opposite side of the country, I had a new job as a result, settled the boys etc. Our relationship has had it's up and downs. I'm nearly 34 and I'm worried time could be against us, esp as I have fertility issues of my own.

Long story short, my sister has announced she's pregnant with her 3rd. As much as I'm happy for her, I just burst into tears when I found out. I wished it was me. I hated feeling this way. My mum & dad find minding the 4 boys together hard work and they've said they won't mind 5 kids all together, which I do completely understand - note this only happens in school holidays. I do feel like this is going to impact me quite a bit.

I feel sad that I feel this way, I suppose if I'm being honest, I hope it's a boy. Has anyone ever felt this way in a family set up? Please be kind in your comments.

OP posts:
angelcake20 · 08/09/2024 14:53

I'm getting in there with some sympathy before you get piled on. I have one of each, as does another uni friend and our third friend, who'd had a boy first, and was the last to have her second, has been open about the fact she'd have been really upset if she'd had another boy (she didn't). I have no interest in clothes and have never had my nails done and DD is much the same but I have a much closer relationship with her than DS. I think your feelings are quite understandable now and I hope you will find in time that you can't imagine that things could have been different, and love your family set up.

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