Hi!
This is my first post as a mumsnet member, after reading through the threads to help me as I raised my now 2.4 year old!
I’d just like some words of advice about whether to have a second child or not as my head is all over the place!
I love my son to pieces and he makes me laugh every day and he’s just the sweetest thing. But it wasn’t always like this! I was very much 1 and done, until he turned 2. Things started to get easier and my husband and I really felt like we’d got this parenting thing down! We then started having discussions about baby number 2!
When my son was newborn, it was absolute hell 😂 I had both post natal depression and anxiety and had to go on anti-depressants which did really help me. I felt much better but still had my ups and down. However now looking back, I feel it was the pure shock of having a child and your whole world being turned upside down! It’s a huge adjustment! Now I find myself wanting to do it again and to do a better job of it, now I feel like I know what I’m doing!
I don’t particularly want to give my son a sibling. I’m an only child and have a great childhood and my husband has a sister but they don’t really get on. I can only describe it as a feeling that something is missing. I just want another child.
However, I’m also torn as as I said before, life with my son is great now and I worry about spoiling that! We’ve not braved a holiday abroad yet but I think I’d take him next year when he is 3. Of course though, if I get pregnant I can’t do that as I’ll either be pregnant or have a newborn! So I feel like I’ve waited all this time for things to get easier and to be able to do more things, only to go back to begin again and have to wait longer!
My other worry is the affect this will have on mine and my husband’s relationship. It certainly took its toll the first time round but this past year we’ve tried really hard to stay connected and we’re lucky enough to have parents who will babysit, so we’re able to have date nights and make time for us. But will we still be able to do that with 2 kids?? Both of our parents are in their 70s and I wouldn’t want to ask them to babysit 2 kids that’s not fair on them. So what do you do? Find a babysitter? Or just accept that you can’t go out on your own for a few years!
Are all these doubts and worries I have a sign that I shouldn’t do it? Or will I regret it in years to come that I didn’t try??
Apologies for the long post! Clearly needed to get that out of my system 😂
Thank you in advance
xxx