This is a longer post than I expect….
DH and I have been married 10+ years and together 15+. We have 1 child 6 who was IVF.
We only tried one more round of IVF for another as well as naturally since we had our child, although i wouldn’t say we were properly trying. I would have liked another, a sibling for ours but I do not feel that I’m missing out or that our family is incomplete.
Basically when the IVF failed, after a few months I said to my husband that I think I’m done, I don’t want to continue trying, or getting a little bit of hope whenever my period is late (which is all the time as I’m so bloody irregular), I’m tired of taking pregnancy tests and just constantly thinking about getting pregnant. I’ve spent the best part of a decade, tracking, taking supplements, hormones, ovulations tests, pregnancy losses, IVF on and on. I don’t want to go on contraception, I feel like I’ve done enough.
We are also getting on a bit now and although our age may be ok for others but I already felt like an older mum with my first and with the gap getting bigger in age I just don’t think it’s gonna happen for us and I want that to be our choice.
He agreed and said that he would call doctors to get on the list as we knew it would be long wait, anyway that was September last year and he still hasn’t made the appointment.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt, he started a new job at the end of the year so I waited a few more months as brought it up earlier this year.
I asked him if he as still happy with our decision to not have any more, he said that he was but also had to think about the possibility of not having children with anyone else if we broke up.
I was absolutely taken aback, I assume this is probably something that all men think about when they get the snip? But I think as we have been together so long, are happy. I was shocked that he was thinking about other people, rather than us.
Anyway, again he said he would book. That was 3 months ago.
I don’t want to push, I don’t want to nag as I know it’s a personal thing. I guess if you’ve got this far, any advice especially from men who were reluctant?
I just feel a bit rubbish that he isn’t taken my concerns seriously and understanding what I still go through every time we have sex. That glimmer of hope. I’ve told him how I feel, and each time he says he “gets it” and that I’ve been through enough but it’s nearly a year and nothing has been done! I find it disrespectful. Or am I being selfish?
Sorry for the long post