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Family planning

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Hubby is getting the snip

6 replies

FairyLover90 · 13/09/2023 03:21

We recently had a pregnancy scare. It made me realize that I didn't want to have anymore kids. We have one. We love her to pieces. But I realized I'm quite happy with our life the way it is and don't want it to change.

I asked my hubby to get a vasectomy half jokingly a couple of days ago and I was honest about my feelings with being done having children. I say half joking because when we first got together he said he wouldn't do it until he was 40 (He is turning 32 next month) and I agreed that this was reasonable. Because if this I expected the request to be a hard no. But he said he'd think about it knowing it was mostly a joke and then agreed to talk to the doctor and it.

I guess I was surprised that he made up his mind so quickly. I told him this and asked to wait a couple of months just to let it settle in.

I guess it's just that there's something so final about it all. Isn't that weird? There's a sort of strange comfort in knowing that door is still hanging open a little bit. But I think once it's done it will be a relief knowing we don't have to worry so much.

So why on earth do I feel so nervous about it?

OP posts:
cheeseandketchupsandwich · 13/09/2023 04:03

In the same boat, although I'm not as nervous as you.

I guess you feel this way because you're worried 'what if I change my mind somewhere down the line and want another?'

Although it isn't a guarantee, they can be reversed and there are always other options if you ever decide you'd like another child

Roselilly36 · 13/09/2023 04:09

Too young, so much could change. What if you change your mind? Plenty of other contraceptive options available OP. If you feel uneasy about the decision it’s not the right decision. Good luck.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 13/09/2023 04:13

Agree with the PP. My friend and DH have two school age children and didn't want anymore and he wanted the snip. Now years later, both mid - late thirties they're expected another. They decided this year they wanted to try for another.

FairyLover90 · 13/09/2023 15:33

The thing is there aren't a lot of contraceptive options out there for me. I've had horrible reactions to several and I mean several hormonal birth controls. I'm allergic to copper so I can't get the copper IUD.

We are using a mix of condoms and natural family planning. It works but it's a lot of work. If I miss too many temps or get lazy I have to wait till my next period to start again.

I don't mind still doing it for awhile but it's exhausting work. We've had condoms break a couple of times and it really freaked us out. If I get pregnant I wouldn't want to carry it to term and while I'm very pro-choice I would be very upset about getting an abortion myself.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I was extremely sick and we almost died during delivery. It was a problem that doctors said is likely to repeat in future pregnancies.

So this is our dilemma. Not trying to be a drama queen. Just letting you know where we are coming from.

OP posts:
purpleboy · 13/09/2023 16:36

When I was pregnant with my daughter I was extremely sick and we almost died during delivery. It was a problem that doctors said is likely to repeat in future pregnancies.
*
This is what stands out for me, sorry to say but you already have a child you need to prioritize, if your health could be in danger to have a baby, it's selfish to even consider going through that again. Sorry op I know it's a tough decision.

FairyLover90 · 13/09/2023 17:27

Thank you for understanding. I guess I unintentionally drip fed a little. But I didn't want to make it a super long read or appear to be attention seeking.

But yeah it's just hard. But it's probably for the best that we move forward with the decision.

OP posts:
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