Abortion reassurances

[mummyofanange]

This is my 5th baby, however the only child we didn't plan for. I have never agreed with abortion or ever doing anything like this 😢 it's breaking my heart at the thought of what I'm thinking.
My first 2 kids births were so traumatic for me, babies were ok but I lost a lot of blood and theatre both times. After a few years I decided to give it another go, but this time I just had a fear my whole pregnancy I was going to die. I was a mess and it was awf, I had support from the hospital offered all sorts but wanted to give her time to come herself. By 40 weeks I was booked for to be induced, however in the space of being moved from ward to labour ward my baby died, I had to still be induced and give birth to my baby girl sleeping. It was the worst thing in my life, the only thing keeping me going was my two kiddos at home. I struggled through life and we decided to try again, I fell pregnanct 10 months after and the pregnancy was so hard, I was anxious crying all the time, at the hospital lots for scans and reassurance. They were great, I was induced at 37 weeks as I just wanted him out alive. I couldn't sleep for months after as after my baby girl, you are opened up to other peoples stories and I still thought he may die from Sid's etc. so all 4 of my babies have been traumatic for me.
I've never felt finished but knew I could never go through it again for the sake of my mental health, my body and my family.
I am now pregnant and it wasn't planned. And I haven't felt joy once, I can't do this again. I can't go through the worry and anxiety and the possibility of baby dying. But then also I get overwhelmed with my 3 now, as my husband works always and I have no help.
I've phoned a clinic and have to wait two weeks, and I'm just going to be torturing myself for two weeks plus after doing this ( which is breaking my heart)
I am around 5+3 and then will be about 7+3, I'm scared no terrified.
What is peoples experience of abortion at the time, I'm such an emotional person and I can't hide it. I think because this is so wrong to me but I need to think about the bigger picture. And my children's mental health etc too
Help me :,( :,( :,( I'm not coping

I’m afraid I can’t give you any advice on the abortion as never been through one myself. Is your doctor sympathetic as you maybe able to just get some advice or reassurance from them? Just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re feeling and going through this. You will get through it x

Abortion is hard, and can be harder if you are absolutly not 100% sure that it is an action that you want to take. However you have such a valid reason for doing it - risk to your life and health. So if you do decide to go through this, remind yourself why you are doing it and give yourself time to heal x

After I had mine I did so much documenting and needed therapy - it took a while to heal, a few months if I am being real, but after 2 years I knew in my heart that it was the right decision at the time (as hard as it was). I had my daughter at the time, and I focused my attention on the life I did have and was trying to build. Someone also once told me, even if you do not have a baby, you still have the memory of the pregnancy, and cheesy as it might sound during the healing process I did write letters to my second child.

You are lucky to have amazing children and whatever you choose and sending love xxxxx

I had the pill abortion (not sure what the medical name is for it) when I was 17 & honestly I've never regretted it - I don't want to say it would have ruined my life, but I would have had a drastically different life that I would not have had now that would have been unfair to the child and a life that I 100% did not want for myself. I was very mentally ill at that time and engaging in very dangerous situations and people with no money or support system.

That being said though, I was adamant the entire time that I did not want to proceed with the pregnancy and didn't have any doubts about my decision and still don't. It sounds awful to some people but I genuinely never even think about it and if I'm reminded about it, my first thought is 'Thank god I did that'.

I can't imagine what it is like to go through this when 1) you don't agree with it and 2) you think you may regret it and feel bad about it. I imagine it's extremely difficult and hard. My only advice would be to weigh up between two things: Do you think having the abortion is going to affect you more mentally and emotionally than having the baby, now and in the future? Or will proceeding with the pregnancy and having another baby affect you more mentally and emotionally now and in the future? When you go for the abortion or to an appointment beforehand, a nurse or doctor should speak to you about your mental health and ensure that you are mentally fit and certain enough to go through with this x

I've had an abortion. It was utterly the right thing for me to do. I have zero regrets, had no issues and would do it again without remorse if I needed to.

Abortion is NOT always hard. Some women find it so, and some don't. You have very strong reasons for terminating this pregnancy; you just have to decide if that is right for you. Some counselling to help you reach your decision might help? I think BPAS may offer that.

IME of working in abortion services, a huge number of women come in saying, "I don't actually agree with abortion, but..." They just know that this is not the right time for them to create a new child. If that is you, don't sabotage yourself with thinking that you SHOULD be finding this terribly traumatic. If you are genuinely torn, please seek proper help. Don't listen to Internet randos' views on whether you should continue this pregnancy.

Best of luck.

Hi my baby was born 23/10/2023 but she died 3mins later we were told at 20weeks that she had spina bifida were she wouldn't be able to walk have major surgery when she was born so we had to make the worse decision of our lives and I have just had her funeral today and I thought having her not in house no more would be easier but the pain is ever worse not sure how I'm going to get over this 😥 I'm sorry for Ur loss

I never ever agreed with abortion but when at 20weeks I got told my baby girl had spina bifida and probs wouldn't be able to walk would need major surgery when she was born we had to make decision and it was her funeral today and I'm just lost thinking have I made the biggest mistake of my life but deep down I no I did the right thing for her but the heart break is hard and all I want now is to be pregnant again with healthy baby to help me heal 😥 I already have to girls they are healthy but I had miscarriage at 7 weeks then this at 20weeks were I had to give birt to my baby girl and she wasn't supose to be alive when she was born but she was for 3mins how do I move on with my life