I feel like no birth controls work for me

[Ancfib]

I am 26 with 2 children
I got pregnant with my first on the pill, I also feel that the pill that I was on was not good for me. I had crazy mood swings and it made me put on weight and it just wasn't a good time.

I had my first young and I was really paranoid about getting pregnant again so I had the implant straight after having her. This was fine, no periods, no weight gain. But I was struggling really badly with anxiety after having my first, I thought the implant might be contributing so I took it out. Then I was so anxious I was pregnant all the time that wasn't great either!

So I went back on the implant and for some reason it effected my differently, I managed to get a bit of a better control over my anxiety but this time I had very heavy, irregular periods and I put on weight. But I felt ok because at least I wasn't pregnant!!

2 years on this then I took it out as we wanted another child, I was pregnant within a month of taking it out!

After having my second I put the myrina coil in, it's been fine. Just over a year in and I thought I had thrush, I have had this a couple times in my life so just popped to the shop and got what I needed but it made it worse. Turns out I had BV which I have never had before in my life, and I had antibiotics and I was told this can happen often with the coil?!? I thought well if it's a one off its ok.. 2 months later it's back and I'm on antibiotics again!! They make me feel awful and I hate this. I'm now having it taken out soon.

I just want to cry, I have thought about being sterilised but I keep flip flopping. So does my partner. It does feel a little unfair but I could go on for hours about how it's been so hard for me and he's just there.. existing normally.

I like the idea of more kids, but we don't have the money or the space right now, but we are both so young things might change.. but I have always said id prefer not to have a huge age gap, he agrees. Also mentally I struggled a lot after my second for the first year. I'm finally feeling myself again. But the thought of completely ruling it out makes me feel sad.

Anyone been through anything similar? I haven't tried the injection yet so I could always give that a go.

I felt the same so we just used condoms,
no hormonal issues and it affected us both. However the copper coil is none hormonal so that could be worth a try?

How about he uses the contraception for a while to give you a break?

This sounds hard. It’s often tricky to get the right BC for you. Was it your GP said you can get BV frequently with a coil? If it wasn’t a GP or sexual health person I’d be inclined to take it with a pinch of salt - it could just be coincidence.

fwiw I ended up with a copper coil, suited me much better than pill or mirena. then DH got a vasectomy - MUCH simpler and less invasive than female sterilisation.

I have thought about it.. but I feel like condoms are not that safe? I don't know, I am a little paranoid (shock)

@washablevelvet if you don't mind me asking, how old was he? I spoke to the doctor about it with my partner and he spent 10 minutes convincing him not too!!! And everyone around him is telling him not too! Saying 'what if we break up?' or 'what if she dies'
Seriously someone said that. That's a whole other conversation though haha
I just feel like they keep trying to put him off!

Have you tried the mini-pill? The newer ones prevent ovulation and alter cervical mucus so sperm can’t get to the uterus. They don’t contain oestrogen so the side effects tend to be things like having lighter bleeding or no bleeding. If you don’t get on with it you can stop it very quickly without needing an appointment.

And you can always double up with condoms of you’re worried the pill is not effective enough or that condoms sometimes break. The chances of getting pregnant using both are miniscule.

Have you spoken to your GP about the BV? Even if the coil is contributing there are other things that can also reduce / increase your risk. Also if you don’t get on with the tablet antibiotics there are pessaries and even probiotics to use down below.
If the coil otherwise works well for you then it may be worth seeing if you can prevent / manage the BV.
However - condoms are less effective but can reduce BV, so wearing them even alongside the coil could reduce your risk if it coming back.

30s, two kids. If I die he’ll have his work cut out bringing them up solo, so ‘have more’ didn’t seem an immediate priority!

They aren't. its one of the sexist provision of contraception that the only reverseable contraception available to men is the condom that has an only 80 something percent success rate.

I couldn't tolerate any hormonal contraception either. I was either a monster or an anxious mess.

In the end the traditional coil worked. You can treat BV if you get it but I imagine it'll stop once you get acclimatised, as it were. I used to get BV at the mention of scented soap so I totally sympathise! I think I was you!!!!

Mini pill plus condoms is working well for me just now. I don't trust the mini pill on its own because I'm not 100% reliable about taking it exactly on time.

The Canestan gel treats BV effectively without oral anti bionics too

The mirena gave me continual BV too. So bad that I ended up pulling it out myself in the bath! The copper coil did the same. And made my periods awful and heavy.

The pill I used to be on as a young woman was fine but the last 3 pills I've tried have all given me really bad anxiety and hysterical mood swings.

I don't like condoms, although DH doesn't mind them. For the past 3 years we have just avoided my fertile periods. It has worked so far.

Also, although not an STD, my partner ended up needing treatment for BV as I'd get it again straight after sex.

Ah thanks for all the responses. Really interesting reading them all, I am half tempted to keep it in.. as apart from the BV it's been fine! Interesting about someones partner being treated for BV.. I might look into that!
I've still got a lot to think about, but as much as I would love to be off birth control I just know I will fall pregnant! I couldn't believe it when I fell pregnant with my first on the pill and my second I expected to wait a good few months but it happened so quickly.

Go to a local sexual health clinic they have much more experience with this than a GP does. (And yes, sometimes multiple forms of birth control just don't work - even with perfect use. It's rare, but it does happen.)

There a loads of types of contraceptive pills, all different combinations and strengths of hormones, try a few. I love Marvelon, it’s great, and with perfect use it’s highly unlikely you will get pregnant on the combined contraceptive pill.