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Family planning

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Original poster

Pregnant with casual partner

24 replies

ChunkyMonkey4321 · 04/01/2022 18:55

I’ve just taken a pregnancy test and it’s positive. (Well two and I’ll probably do a third)

I’m married but separated and I was seeing a guy for about 2 weeks but he is a very needy and controlling person so i decided to stop talking to him. He actually said if I got pregnant he would want me to keep it which is pretty weird tbh. Anyway, so I am pregnant and want to terminate as I am 100% finished having kids and I know morally I should tell him about it but I’m worried about his reaction, he knows where I live, etc.

I think I should not tell him as keeling isn’t an option so it’s not open to discussion but obviously some might say he has a right to know. I think my right to making sure I am safe is more important but wanted to get it out

OP posts:

DollyPartBaked · 04/01/2022 18:59

What would be achieved by telling him? It would be different if you were going to proceed with the pregnancy. I wouldn't say anything - and not get pregnant again!*

*obviously I don't know the circumstance so might come across a little judgey

RedWingBoots · 04/01/2022 19:01

You don't need the tell him anything.

You aren't planning to keep it. He's not a good friend you are going to keep in contact with.

TheBeesKnee · 04/01/2022 19:01

I wouldn't tell him. There's no need to. All you will do is cause yourself a headache.

Incidentally, who was responsible for contraception? Is it possible that he messed with it?

BingBongToTheMoon · 04/01/2022 19:01

I might get slated for this……but I agree with you.

heldinadream · 04/01/2022 19:03

No need to tell him at all in these circumstances. You sound perfectly clear on what you need to do. Best of luck and hope it all goes smoothly OP.

LongestBedtimeStoryEver · 04/01/2022 19:04

I don’t know what the “right” thing to do is, but in that situation I would absolutely not tell him.

Original poster

ChunkyMonkey4321 · 04/01/2022 19:05

I thought I would get slated but glad people agree. I think my safety is more important and I have no doubt he could make my life a living hell.

OP posts:

Twizbe · 04/01/2022 19:05

I wouldn't tell him.

Sounds like he would make life hard for you if he knew.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 04/01/2022 19:05

Just dont tell him.
How you managed to get pregnant by accident with all the contraceptive available is already showing quote bad judgement on your part. Dont make it worse by telling the needy guy who wants a baby. Just do what you need to do and be more careful.

RaininSummer · 04/01/2022 19:07

Definitely terminate if that is what you want. You don't owe him anything but I think it best you don't tell him.

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 04/01/2022 19:07

Agree with not telling him, good luck OP

Diggersaursarethebest · 04/01/2022 19:10

Don’t tell him. You terminating and never seeing him again will have zero impact on his life. Telling him will just cause him pain and you fear.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 04/01/2022 19:10

You are under absolutely no obligation to tell him, so if you’re looking for permission, please consider it granted: you do not have to tell him.

I had abortion in my 20s and I didn’t tell my then partner. I simply did not want to run any sort of risk of being talked around, or for him to want to keep it. That may not be the right thing to do morally, but I couldn’t care less. Then or now.

All the best.

BurbageBrook · 04/01/2022 19:10

It would be daft and pointless to tell him if you’re going to terminate anyway.

PlainJaneSuperbrainthe2nd · 04/01/2022 19:10

Totally agree OP - don't tell him. There's no need - decision is made and he's no longer part of your life.

RedCandyApple · 04/01/2022 19:11

I wouldn’t tell him

chiefcha · 04/01/2022 19:12

I wouldn't tell him.

tickingthebox73 · 04/01/2022 19:12

@ChunkyMonkey4321

I’ve just taken a pregnancy test and it’s positive. (Well two and I’ll probably do a third)

Is this a surprise pregnancy @ChunkyMonkey4321? I'd be thinking how you managed to get pregnant so quickly especially if he's being weird about it

WWDD · 04/01/2022 19:13

I wouldn't tell him either. It would achieve nothing and may bring trouble.

Casimira · 04/01/2022 19:13

Absolutely don’t tell him.

Your body, your choice. You’ve made your decision re: the pregnancy and don’t need to fear for your safely on top of that.

Good luck.

ClemDanFango · 04/01/2022 19:16

You’re absolutely right. Don’t tell him. Sounds like he would ruin your life regardless of whatever decision you make.

Hairyfriend · 04/01/2022 19:21

His comment about pregnancy was a bit odd! Could he have pricked the condoms? Did it seem like he wanted children with you? If you weren't using any contraception, maybe that explains the odd comment?

Either way, its your body and your decision. No need to tell him- unless you decided to carry on with the pregnancy.

Hotchox · 04/01/2022 19:22

You've already said you've stopped talking to him. Don't break your silence to give him life-changing news like that!

IF he was a long term, exclusive partner, with whom you'd made long term plans he'd deserve to know. But as things stand, nope!

FTEngineerM · 04/01/2022 19:23

Do. Not. Tell. Him.

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