Copper coil failure, unwanted pregnancy. Advice welcome.

[Emmk23]

Sorry, this is going to be a long one.

So, 29/06/21, I had an operation to remove high CN3 grade cells from my cervix, after repeated high changes on PAP smear, for this (due to awkward position of cervix) I had to be put under GA. also, for the treatment, my coil had to be removed and a new one in place while still under GA.

Fast forward 29/07/2021, first period, all fine no problems.

August 25th, positive pregnancy test. Faint on cheap test, positive 2/3 clear blue.
So I called my EPU, who advised to come in for scan to rule out ectopic pregnancy, had internal scan on 1/9/21 which showed no signs of pregnancy (or coil) -5 weeks LMP.
They done abdominal scan which they found the coil in my cervix, which explains why I got pregnant. But again, due to awkward positioning were unable to take it out, I will need to be under GA again for this.

So they said either too early or ectopic, had bloods done 1/9/21 - 1112 repeat 48 hours later & they have more than doubled to over 2600. Signs of healthy in uterus pregnancy, and repeat scan booked for 8/9/21.

My issue is, we do not want another child, I have 2 beautiful girls and neither of us want a 3rd (which is why we had a coil fitted) I never thought if find myself in a situation having an abortion but now it seems I have. I am 30 & partner is 45.

Has anybody been in a similar situation and how did you deal with it please.

Thanks for taking the time. Xxx

[Borderterrierpuppy]

This happened to a good friend of mine, two kids v happy definitely did not want a third. She went for termination and has not regretted it.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

[THNG5]

During my c section for my third baby, I had my tubes cut as we were done (I was 38, my husband 42).
6 months later, I did a pregnancy test as my period was late. I honestly thought menopause was starting but no, I was pregnant.
We kept the baby. It's not been easy, especially as my 4 are under the age of 5. I do have dark moments when I think of what could have been but, for me, everything happens for a reason. Only you can decide what that reason is. The point I'm trying to make is we can all tell you our story but only you can decide what's best for you and your family.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.

[Emmk23]

Thanks for both your replies!

Honestly I still can’t believe what’s going on at the minute, this is the kind of thing which happens to somebody else.

Id sort of got into my head it was ectopic, (which they did think it was because nothing was found on my scan) but with the levels they are now thinking it was just too early to see. I felt like if it was ectopic, at least the decision was made for me. But suppose ill have to wait until my scan on Wednesday to know for sure.

I think either way I will be going for the termination as I can’t bring an unwanted child, I feel like I’d loose the plot completely and its not fair to our other two kids. would have to move house, change car, etc.

Children now are 5 and nearly 4, we have plans to travel next year to visit their Grandma for the first time in Jamaica, she has never met these two. Everything would literally be put on pause, just cant see another option for us.

They did mention today, about considering sterilisation as I’ve had failed coil, he said they are more likely to agree, as much as I’m against having another (now) I don’t like the fact the choice wouldn’t be mine.

So many things to consider, wish I could just click my fingers and this be over.

Xxx

[Mumnow1]

Omg, this has just happened to me. I've had the copper IUD in for two years with no issues. Then bang, in August I fall pregnant. I have two boys already aged 5 and nearly 3. I never wanted more children as our youngest has a genetic issue called MCAD and there is a 1 in 4 chance it can affect future pregnancies. I have been for a scan and they said the coil had moved and I would not have known. So now I'm in turmoil over what to do. I cry all the time and feel my body changing and is giving me panic attacks. I feel cruel saying i do not want another child, I thought I did everything right to prevent this. I keep saying to myself why has this happened to me. I'm not against having a termination but I'm worried the long term mental damage this could cause, but at the same time having another one could also cause as much mental issues. For me the risk along of the genetic issues is enough for me not to proceed with the pregnancy but as a mum I just feel at a loss. What ever decision I make is the wrong one. I don't want my boys affected either.

[Emmk23]

Aw im sorry you are in this situation, its horrible isn’t it! Same with me, my coil had moved and they done a scan the first time I went to the hospital and they couldn’t find it on an internal scan, but they did on a abdominal scan and its in my cervix, but they couldn’t get it out due to awkward positioning so mines still there for now.

A little update on my situation is..
I went for the scan on the Wednesday and they said there was a sac (measuring 6w 3days) but no fetal pole or yolk, so they think Im having a miscarriage but I’m going back today at 12:30 to confirm, they said I could come today and there could be a normal pregnancy but its unlikely (but possible).

I never thought id be a person to have an abortion but I think until you are in a situation like this, you never really know. We took precautions to prevent pregnancy and just because its failed doesn’t automatically mean we do want more children. If i go today and I am pregnant, I will have an abortion, purely because I do not want another child, I need to put our other children first.

I don’t see another option for me and our family. Its a horrible situation to be in.

Always here if you need to talk xxx

[Mumnow1]

Thanks for your reply. Yes it's an awful situation and I still can't get my head round why it's happened to us.

I suppose for you if there isn't a pregnancy it will be less of a worry but either way it's a horrible situation to go through.

Think I've aged 10 years because of this.

I'm 38 and never invisaged having another child.

It's so hard.

All the best

[Emmk23]

I am 30 but my OH is 45, so our kids for him are late (they are 5 & nearly 4).

I know, its terrible, I must be the only woman wanting to go in for a scan and there not be a baby. I feel terrible even writing it, but as I said we did have something in place to prevent pregnancy and just because this has happened, it doesn’t automatically change our mind.

What have your GP or doctors said for you? I found out I was pregnant on 27th aug. Its a long process or waiting and appointments (well it has been for me).

Only you can decide whats best for you family. Sending lots of love xxxx

[Mumnow1]

Thank you. They sent me to the early pregnancy unit who confirmed the pregnancy and removed the coil. They said it's at 5ws but could see a yolk. I think they were shocked as much as me so it can't happen that often.

I then have to wait for an appointment with BPAS for the other part but there's a weeks wait which is even more painful. I just want it all over so I can move on with our lives.

I'm now at a loss of what contraceptive to trust,I don't do well with the hormone ones so there doesn't seem much of a choice.

Sending you best wishes xxx

[ItWearsTheBatteriesOut]

You are not horrible for wanting a natural end to something which should not have happened. I too hope you get the answer you want. But equally if you do your feelings might be complicated, just be prepared, it would be perfectly normal to feel very sad about a result that was ultimately wanted.

[ItWearsTheBatteriesOut]

Mumnow I am sorry to read your story as well. I agree that choices are poor, I have been sterilised but I know that has failure rates, I chose sterilisation as I didn't want to be given the choice to change my mind as I knew I couldn't have anymore but also know the pull of feeling broody.

[Mumnow1]

I would just feel very selfish to allow something to carry on with the potential of a health issue down the line. I said to my partner we could always have a genetic test done at 10 weeks but of course if it came back at that stage that it did have mcad then I would feel worse for not ending things sooner. Life is cruel it really is. Honestly I never want sex ever again

[Biscuits1]

It sounds like a blighted ovum which I had at 6 weeks as I had a sac but no fetal pole. For me, having been through IVF, I don't really see it as a baby until it is more developed. Right now it is no more than cells so if you have an abortion your conscience should be clear and you need to make the right decision for your family as it is now. Good luck.

[Iwantcauliflowercheese]

I had a coil pregnancy. It ended at around 16 weeks. Foetus hadn't developed properly as the coil was in situ. It wasn't pleasant having a miscarriage. Your pregnancy may not survive anyway.

[Mumnow1]

Sorry to hear of your loss X did they not remove the coil when you found out you were pregnant? I'm intrigued as they have removed mine and said it had dropped into the cervix hence why the pregnancy took place.

[Emmk23]

So little update, after a couple of stressful hours, they have confirmed its a viable pregnancy around 7 weeks.

I still have my coil in place too because of difficulty accessing, they have tried to take it out, but failed. Which is another reason I am so set on having a termination, due to the risks of defects and still birth etc.

Really wasn’t the news I wanted today, I think I knew anyway because I haven’t had any signs of miscarriage, I’m really lucky I don’t suffer with morning sickness or anything, just tiredness.

Hopefully this nightmare will be over soon for us all. X

[Mumnow1]

Oh Hun, not what you wanted to hear. Stay strong and it will be sorted soon. Are the hospital going to help asap or do you have to wait?

[Iwantcauliflowercheese]

My coil tore the sac and I had a second trimester miscarriage. So much can go wrong with a coil pregnancy. It's best to get it sorted out now. I'm sorry it's happened to you.

[Emmk23]

Hi ladies,

Ive been booked in for a surgical abortion next Friday and to remove the coil and replace with a new one. (She said she personally will scan me after to double check its in the right place) They couldn’t find it on todays scan so she said they will try to locate it while I’m under.
They did also offer to sterilise me, but I feel thats too final, as much as I don’t want any more children now, I’d like that decision to be mine and not made so quickly.

The risks alone with a coil pregnancy are scary enough and mentally I don’t want to do that to myself or my family.

Hope you other ladies are okay! The things us women have to go through sometimes! Definitely coming back in my next life as a man! Lol xxx

[Emmk23]

Hi Mumnow1, how are you? Xxx

[Mumnow1]

I'm still up and down. I have such bad anxiety and I hate the way my body feels. I waiting for a call back from the bpass counsellors before I go ahead with anything. I just can't understand why this has happened to me. I don't want to go ahead with the pregnancy but my motherly instincts are making me feel awful. I don't want to be in this position. I'm so tired

[Emmk23]

Aw, I really feel for you, for me I don’t feel guilt as such because we had something in place to prevent a pregnancy, thats failed not us. Try & look at it from that point of view if abortion is something you are considering.
I just keep imagining life with another baby which isn’t fair when we had 2 girls already.

Put yourself & your living children first. The pregnancy is very early so its literally cells for the minute, completely different to one of your living children xxxx

[Mumnow1]

I've just had the call with BPAS and it has helped greatly. It's put things in perspective, you are right I need to focus on my two boys here and now. I worked out I can only be three weeks since we had sex but understand they say it's 5. I need to stop beating myself up as we had something in place to stop this happening.

Hope you are ok as well X