14 yo niece needs help

[Coconutwinter]

I need some advice.

My 14yo niece opened up to me that she’s been sleeping with boys for a while. She said she worried a little while ago she may have had a miscarriage as her periods stopped for a couple of months then she had awful pains followed by a huge clot which looked like it had something in it??

She said her current boyfriend is ‘pulling out’ apparently he’s too nervous to buy condoms and she doesn’t know how to get on the pill without her mother knowing or finding them.

She said her mum will kick her out if she finds out she’s sexually active. This isn’t something I can stop so I’m trying to work out how I can help her... I’ve given her some condoms for the meantime. I don’t know what GP she’s registered with and mine won’t help because she’s not with them.

Is there anything I can do to quietly get her on the pill??

Reasoning with her mother is out of the question, she’s not that sort. I don’t want her ruining her life at such a young age (and his). I’m the only one she’s told so I feel I need to sort this ASAP.

GUM clinic and family planning clinic? And a job lot of condoms?

She doesn't sound confident enough to practise safe sex though or insist on it. That's worrying.

Two children too nervous to arrange contraception shouldn’t be having sex. You need to be completely up front with her and get her to agree to go and get it sorted. Call, make appointment. Get her there.
With the idiot boyfriend being ‘nervous’ and her not willing to say ‘no condom, no shag, end of’, she’s going to end up pregnant and her mum will know anyway.
She needs to be in the pill, fast, or she’s going to ruin her life. She’s cried out for help, so help get her sorted. And make sure she knows that a whiny little nervous scrote who is too scared to buy condoms isn’t exactly going to step up when she gets pg.
When.
Not if.
And yes, I was that kid.
I arranged my own abortion.

Family planning clinic is your best bet. No need for GP involvement. They are very used to helping teenage girls.

Posts like this make me a little sick to my stomach. This poor girl is going to ruin her life if she doesn't start taking sex seriously. If I were you, I would do all I could to help get her on the pill or the shot. I would also keep talking to her about the importance of using condoms and protecting herself against STI's. Obviously, her mum is useless, so she's very lucky to have you in her life.

@nachthexe it seems they both are too nervous to do anything about preventing pregnancy and STDs.

Yet it's the boys fault and he's a whiny little scrote?

Why not pile in with a load of abuse about the niece while you're at it? Projecting much?

As well as everything else, she also needs a chat about sexually transmitted diseases. Even if she was on the pill, they should be using condoms.
Agree with the idea of taking her to a Family Planning clinic - or is there a young peoples health clinic locally? Is there a school nurse,who can advise her/supply condoms

How old are these boys?

As well as everything else, she also needs a chat about sexually transmitted diseases. Even if she was on the pill, they should be using condoms.

Absolutely.

I took my 16-year-old niece to the sexual health clinic as she was worried she had a ‘lump’ down there and she was too scared to tell her parents.

I gave her a lift, helped her sign in and she asked the nurse when she went in if she could have be in with her.

I’m glad I did as we’ve had lots of honest conversations about sex and I know she’s being safe.

The GUM clinics you just show up, give an address and wait for an appointment.

Thanks all. It’s hard she literally told me all of this 10 mins before her mum picked her up so I got in what I could.
I’ve told her she has to use condoms for std’s.
I’ve found a family planning clinic in her town I’m going to book her in there for next week and tell her to tell her mum she’s meeting a friend. Will they see her alone that age and give them to her on the spot??

I’m not sure if she’s lied to the boy about her age, I heard a lot from him on FaceTime and he seems nice they’re both just oblivious.

I am worried though as well on another note... if anything did happen with him almost 17 and her 14 can he be charged with rape etc if this gets out? I’m just worried she may have lied to him about her age. Not that I’m worried about him I just don’t know how the law works with all of this, she needs to know those implications as well.

I need to try and work out how to do all of this without her mum catching on.

Yes he can be charged with rape. She is underage.

I haven’t heard of a GUM clinic?

@GoodbyePorpoiseSpit

Yes he can be charged with rape. She is underage.

It's not just to do with being underage, it is the age difference. A couple of similar ages wouldn't be charged.

I would say he is on very dodgy ground at nearly 17 though.