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Family planning

Past pill failure - psychological impact

2 replies

Nicknamegoeshere · 08/07/2020 03:50

Long story July last year I found myself very unexpectedly pregnant. I had been taking the mini pill for years and absolutely correctly.

It was a total shock at first, but fiancé and I grew used to the idea and decided that we would embrace the pregnancy, especially given our ages (myself 38, him 43). Very sadly, the pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage.

The miscarriage led us to re-evaluate and we decided to start trying for a baby - the miscarriage (and our GP) made us realise that really we'd be a bit foolish to wait much longer to consider a pregnancy - I could well take some time to fall. I already had two children of my own half of the time, but my fiancé wasn't yet a biological dad.

A month later I was pregnant and six weeks ago we welcomed a beautiful baby girl! She is amazing and all really good.

However, I am terrified of the idea of having sex again in case of subsequent pill failure. I'm fully breastfeeding (so no 'real' periods yet) and I am aware there are other contraceptive options available, but for several reasons I'd prefer to stay with the pill. We could also use condoms.

But I'm still so frightened of contraceptive failure. If I was to become pregnant again we simply couldn't contemplate keeping the baby.

It's this psychological worry that I know is going to be on my mind if/when we do resume our sex life which was a really important and successful part of our relationship pre-baby.

Any advice much appreciated.

OP posts:
Coffeeandroses · 11/07/2020 08:53

Perhaps if you feel more comfortable with using the pill you could stay on it and just use condoms every time you and your partner are sexually active? As taking the pill and using condoms would definitely decrease your chances of future pregnancies. However maybe another idea is do consider alternative contraception such as the implant or the coil as this may ultimately be more effective for you and in time lessen your worry of becoming pregnant in the future. I hope this helps in some way I know it’s not always an easy decision OP when it comes to choosing which one and only you know what you feel comfortable with choosing , maybe also go talk to your Gp about it and see what they would recommend x

thetangleteaser · 12/07/2020 09:48

Gosh I can totally relate to this. I fell pregnant very unexpectedly last year with my son. I wasn’t on any long term contraceptive at the time but had been using condoms. My son is now nearly 8 months and I’ve been on the mini pill since 6 weeks and also EBF but I cannot shake the anxiety of another unplanned pregnancy. I’ve taken three pregnancy tests since starting the pill just for my own peace of mind as I haven’t had any bleeding whilst on the pill apart from the odd spotting here and there. I feel like I live in a constant state of anxiety and have been feeling nauseous which I think it due to the pill itself, tests remain starkly negative but I just can’t shake the feeling of ‘what if’ as we are not in the position to have another baby.

I feel I read so many stories about women falling pregnant on the mini pill and I don’t think this helps, not keen on other option of contraception due to adverse side effects I’ve experienced in the past, it’s really difficult so I can completely sympathise.

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