Pregnant again at 21! Please help

[flowertot19]

Hi, I'm desperate to hear some opinions or even some support on my situation as I can't sleep with worry and guilt, I would be grateful for any advice.

I am 21 with an 8 month old baby. My partner and I are living with his parents until our new home is renovated which will be in the next 2/3 months. I have just found out I'm pregnant!

I'm on the pill and take it religiously, so as you can imagine I am devastated this has happened so soon! I wanted another child when my first baby was in school so that I could handle things and give them both the attention they deserve.

My partner works long hours 6 nights a week to support us and a lot of the time I am at home with the baby alone as his parents are also working full time.

Night time is a struggle because my son does not sleep at all and I tend to get 3/4 hours max per night, I can't see how I will manage this being heavily pregnant.

My son would only be 16 months when this baby would be born, meaning he will still rely on me heavily, especially if he is still not sleeping, how will I take care of two baby's through the night by myself?

I am so stressed because I always wanted siblings for my baby, but never this soon and this young.

I won't be able to give a newborn baby my full attention Because I will have two baby's at home, and vice versa.

I don't have any family that are willing to look after my baby as it is, and partners parents aren't very helpful. I feel like I would never be able to work again.

A termination feels like I am taking away a potential brother or sister to my baby, which breaks my heart.

I'm petrified that I won't be able to live with myself going ahead with a termination, knowing what could have been.. but the facts are that I don't want baby no2 yet as I'm worried I won't be able to handle it. I also don't want my partner to resent me in the long run.

I struggle to leave the house with 1 baby, I don't know how I would manage with two and a double pram

Am I being selfish? I haven't stopped crying since I found out

I have an appointment in 4 days for a scan to see how far along I am, but a clear blue test says 2-3 weeks so I am assuming I am around 5 weeks.

Thank you in advance for any replies x

Its up to you, but in your position i would terminate. You have to put your existing child first. They won't miss a sibling at this age, plenty of people never have siblings and don't suffer for it.

Id terminate too in that situation but know theres counseling and support available to you for after if you do choose that

I can't give you advice re what to do as that's your choice but just wanted to say I know how it feels when the pill fails.

I'm much older than you (39), but fell pregnant last July on the pill. I will put my hands up and say up until it happened to me I thought it wasn't really possible to get pregnant if you were taking it correctly. I was definitely wrong!

I remember taking the test assuming I was being silly and it would come back negative but no - it was a positive. My GP wasn't surprised when I told him because it is absolutely true that no contraceptive is 100% effective.

Sadly the pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage.

Just wanted you to know you're definitely not alone in falling pregnant on contraception and I understand how much of a shock it can be.

Wishing you all the best with the really hard decisions you are having to make x