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Family planning

Aibu- coil fitting

10 replies

Minimonkeysmum · 23/08/2019 22:28

I suspect I might be unreasonable, but I called my gp two months ago to book a coil fitting. Was told I needed to go on a waiting list, and they'd call me to arrange an appt.

Instead, I've received an appt for a month's time, with a male gp, right before my period is due (the enclosed letter states it would be less painful to do at the end of my period).

There's no option to switch to a female gp, as none are trained to fit the coil, and apparently no local alternatives to get it fitted. I've had previous bad (painful) experiences with male gynaecologists, which have led to ongoing issues, so am exceptionally wary in this particular situation. The fact there's only a male gp option was not made clear at any point when adding myself to the waiting list.

Aibu in being cross/upset about this?. If I cancel the appt or rearrange, I end up at the back of the waiting list again. I called the surgery and was made to feel completely unreasonable - and my husband thinks I'm being silly - but I feel really upset about having no say in who or when fits it.

OP posts:
forkfun · 24/08/2019 09:49

YANBU. Have you checked local family planning clinics? I think it is absolutely fair to only want to be seen by a female GP for gyno stuff. There must be other options. However, YABU to expect appt at a different point of your cycle. Unfortunately, with the NHS being underfunded as it is, this would not be a priority. For what it's worth, it does hurt to have your coil fitted, but the pain is only for about a minute while it's being put in. After that, it's similar to pretty unpleasant period pain, but nothing worse.

WellVersedInEtiquette · 24/08/2019 09:52

I didn't go to my gp when I had mine fitted. I just rang the local sexual health clinic and had it fitted there.

NoBaggyPants · 24/08/2019 09:55

Not unreasonable, but unfortunately this is how things are because of underfunding and the recruitment crisis. It's worth trying family planning, in my area they're the only option (the qualified GP has retired), and in some areas GU Medicine too. Alternatively, you may be able to find a private GP or specialist that can do it.

If a male GP is your only option, you can have an escort or friend with you. I find male gynaes more considerate, but that's not discounting your own poor experience. I guess I mean not to assume he will be inconsiderate because another one was.

Hope you get it sorted soon.

TheoriginalLEM · 24/08/2019 09:57

I don't care the sex of who fits my coil but unless it's a gynaecologist they ain't doing it

YesQueen · 24/08/2019 09:58

Mine is done by the contraception clinic, my doctors surgery doesn't fit them at all. Worth a try

EL8888 · 24/08/2019 09:59

YANBU. It all doesn’t sound right to me especially the timing. How about your husband goes in your place? Oh yeah, he doesn’t want a foreign object being stuck in his willy. Hmm funny that 🤔

PanamaPattie · 24/08/2019 10:02

I don’t think you are being silly because you don’t want a male doctor. I think it is unreasonable for your surgery to not have the choice of doctor. Imagine if there was a male practice nurse that did all the smear testing - there would be plenty of complaints. Cancel your appointment, tell the surgery your reasons and book an appointment at another clinic or go private. YANBU. It’s your body.

snozzlemaid · 24/08/2019 10:09

I had a real problem getting an appointment at my GP for this so I went to family planning clinic at local hospital instead.
Got a quick appointment and it was fitted painlessly by someone who does this everyday, so is more of an expert imo.
Is there a clinic anywhere near you?

YesQueen · 24/08/2019 10:17

Oh and I asked for a female this time only because the (only) male that fits them did mine last time and it really hurt a lot more than the previous one

Minimonkeysmum · 25/08/2019 22:30

Thanks for all the responses! I'm conscious that with the huge cuts to funding having more than one GP trained to fit them is a luxury, but am somewhat taken aback that they didn't mention this when I added myself to the (three month!) waiting list. They will provide a chaperone, but that's not really the solution, as I had one at the awful gynae appt too.

They can't provide details on sexual health clinics, presumably because they're funded differently. Does anyone know if I can ask to have it fitted by a gynaecologist?

I'm pretty scared about it (and also pretty pissed off that there aren't any sensible options for men and despite having had two children, this falls to me as well!).

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