Going from 1 to 2 kids

[Scotgirl80]

Hi,

We are considering trying for baby 2 but I'm so scared of how I will cope. DC was colic, didn't sleep for more than 2 hours for 15 months and DH was not around much to help as he worked 6 weeks away, 1 week home. I can honestly say the 1st year of my DC life was the hardest thing I have had to go through personally and also In our marriage. It would be good to get your option on the following:

1. which was harder, going from no children to 1 or from 1 to 2?

2. did having more than 1 child put more pressure on your marriage?

3. what is the age gap between your kids kids? Would you have preferred if you had DC2 sooner or later?

4. for those mums who BF number 2, how the hell did you do it?!? I used to sit for hours feeding DC, I can't see that happening with number two when I have a toddler running around

5. did you need your partner to be more hands on once the second arrives? DH is having to work every hour under the sun at moment so I doubt he will be able to help much

Hi! I have two children and am happy to answer your questions

1. from 0-1 was harder in some respects as didn’t know what to expect, from 1-2 you’ve been there before so easier in a way.

2. the beginning was easy once dc2 became mobile etc it got difficult. It was harder to get time alone as the children take over life. I find it very hard now with them both , I’m a sahm so my life is 24/7 about the kids.

3. I have 4 years and 2 weeks between mine(due pratically the same day 4 years apart !) i wanted a bigger gap to give 1:1 to both children. I think had we had them closer together they would be playing together etc more than they do but for my sanity we had a gap! And also it gives me the opportunity to do 1:1 with little one while older one is at school.
   However I’ve got friends who have much smaller age gaps and found it very difficult at the beginning but much easier as they’ve got older.

4. I bf both mine , with the age gap dc1 was fine amusing herself and understood what was happening. Dc2 only fed for 10/15 mins every 2 hrs so that was a huge help!

5. yes partner had to pull his finger out more and help esp at beginning to take dc1 to preschool and make sure food was ready for dc1 if I was feeding dc2.

Two children is a massive change and we had another as we wanted to give dc1 and sibling. It’s been such hard work as dc2 is total opposite to dc1 and a stubborn little so and so. I think I’ve aged about 100 years!

I think whatever your age gap if you have another they all have positives and negatives

1. 1-2
2. yes
3. 1 1/2 years and not really fussed
4. I learned to breastfeed while walking. Had a large living room with baby gate for DS1 to play in while I was BFing. DS1 was allowed to watch way too much TV.
5. yes but he wasn't because he had to work much more to be able to afford second child.

0-1 was much more of a shock to the system.
Theres 3y10m between my girls and it's great. Dd1 was doing mornings at pre school when dd2 was born which helped.
DH had around three weeks off when dd2 was born as he also got Easter bank holiday which was nice. My parents live ten mins away and helped - and still do help loads (even now they do school runs for us whilst we're at work). They're saints.