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Addiction, disability and pregnancy

3 replies

Wifey1984 · 12/08/2017 12:20

My husband is a gambling addict. He does go to meetings but has relapsed twice in one month recently.
I have a neuropathic condition that causes me fatigue and pain. Have just been referred to a specialist as they think I may have MS. I do struggle day to day with pain and spend a lot of time in bed. I do a physical job however and regularly work 10-15hr days.
Found out I am 4wks pregnant. We don't know what to do. Timing is awful but we understand there is never a perfect time.. but our finances are thin due to husbands recent slip up. My body is going through hell and the headaches/fatigue are debilitating some days. I do not have any trust in my husband now although I do understand that takes time to get back, but I have told him his habit has changed him into a very selfish and angry person. Some days the sweet gentle man is there but it is like he has been taken over by this person I do not recognise some days.
We have booked a provisional appointment for a termination as this is time sensitive and I will not have a surgical one. I would rather go through with the pregnancy. However I like my life how it is at the moment and a child would complicate matters for us both. On the other hand it may make my husband grow up and I would absolutely love to have a baby in my arms at some point in my life and be one a family. I want that so much. Just not sure I'm 'ready yet or that We are ready..
Can someone please give their advice on this? Just want to hear a third persons opinion.

OP posts:
AfunaMbatata · 13/08/2017 06:15

I just want to say that having a baby in the hope it might make him behave responsibly is a very very bad idea.

I wish you well with whatever decision you decide to makeFlowers

JustMumNowNotMe · 13/08/2017 06:23

No one here can tell you what you should do, only you know how how your illness effects you and what the prognosis is for the future, the same for your husbands addiction. All I can say is that of it were me, knowing as I do the demands of having a young baby, in your circumstances Iwould terminate. You potentially have a progressive illness, feel unwell most of the time, and have and unreliable husband with an active addiction. It wouldn't be the right time for me to add a baby into the mix.

I'm sorry you are struggling op Flowers

brightlightceiling · 13/08/2017 06:57

I'm really not a fan of abortion but lets just take your DH out of the mix because you might not be able to rely (sp?) on him: can you take care of a baby by yourself the next 18 years?

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