Termination - please read before judging

[sophie1705]

Hi
I'm just wanting others thoughts on our situation.

So my partner has FSHD a muscle wasting disease and we have a 50/50 chance of passing it on to our children. We are starting the process of PGD (IVF) however another option for us is to try getting pregnant and at 11 weeks we can have a test done to see if the baby has the disease. If the baby unfortunately does have FSHD we then have the option to terminate. My partner doesn't understand the pain of terminating and I'm not sure I could go through it but all I've wanted for the last year or so is to try for a baby. It's rather upsetting that I'm not going to become pregnant the natural way.

Whats your thoughts?

My sister has a condition with a 50/50 chance of passing it onto her children. One has her condition and one is fine. The child who has the condition had endured many operations and is in pain some of the time. Given the choice she would not change anything. Hope that helps x

That sounds really tough. I terminated a planned pregnancy although a bit later than 11 weeks and it was emotionally brutal. If there is an alternative using ivf I would go for that without a doubt.

Thank you both for the comments. If we weren't aware of the condition I'm sure I would have gone ahead as normal and wouldn't of changed anything if the child was born with the disease however knowing just makes the situation completely different and my partner 100% doesn't want our children to be born with it.

Again thank you. X

A friend is going through similar at the moment. I'm a geneticist (so is she.)
Don't get too hung up on it 'not being natural'. Lots of things that are natural are awful (botulinum toxin, cyanide, strychnine, asbestos) and lots of things that aren't natural are wonderful (cancer drugs, most modern medicine and technology.)

No judging here - it's a tough situation to be in - are you accessing the genetic counsellor at the clinic?

My thoughts are that with odds that high I wouldn't risk it. You will become attached and hopeful and it will be unimaginably painful to have to terminate.
In your situation I would see if PGD worked. Science is a wonderful thing. How many times might you have to try the "natural" way before you conceived a baby that didn't have the disease? Just because it's 50/50 doesn't mean if you try twice you'll be successful one of those times. If PGD works it will still be your own miraculous healthy baby, same as had you conceived spontaneously.

Exactly. You could try ten times and still get unlucky ten times - that's a huge strain on you, mentally and physically.

Give the PGD a shot, and best of luck.

Popskipiekin thank you so much that was such a lovely comment and thank you everyone else. I was never wanting to go the route of a termination but just wanted others to tell me basically. Hopefully start the PGD process so. They've told me to start taking folic acid and have low alcohol consumption.

Now I just need to know whether I continue taking my contraceptive pill or stop it. Not sure if it has any effects against anything i.e. Producing extra eggs. X

Sophie and really hope it works for you. Absolutely no idea about the pill, sorry!