Natural family planning?

[Bellbell]

Any experiences or advice about how it effects your sex life as well as effectiveness?

I've used it for about five years and with a couple of different partners - I use 'fertility awareness method' (FAM), google the book called 'Taking Charge of your Fertility' by Toni Weschler. I use condoms in the fertile period and then nothing after I am sure I have ovulated - if pregnancy would be a complete disaster, you can be more conservative (e.g. no penetrative sex at all until after ovulation, and use a barrier then) - so it is v. flexible depending on your circumstances. It has been reliable so far, and actually has made me feel much more positive about my cycle generally (which has always been long and erratic - but with fam I know when I ovulate which means I know when my period will arrive, even in a long cycle). Lots to recommend it I think though you do need to be OK with taking your temp every day and observing the other physical signs (cervical fluid and position and so on). Also interesting in that you may begin to notice other patterns linked to your hormones (e.g. mood, energy etc). It takes a little while to get the hang of though. Good for sex life I think - we don't like condoms much but it's quite exciting each month waiting for the time we can ditch them; and talking about where I am is also good for communication between us I think. Hope that helps.

Forgot to say that I've used it successfully for five years!

Proceed with caution - my friend swore by this for years then also used the persona to further identify if it woud be risky to shag, she now has 4 children rather than the 3 she wanted to stick with. She agonised over the pregnancy and it drove a bit of a wedge that never really healed. 3 yrs later they are seoarated

Sorry to hear that itsnice. I've never tried it myself, but the book I mentioned above actively advises against Persona and similar devices. I think the safest way to use this method is to learn the technique properly yourself, preferably from an actual teacher.

Where can you get in touch with the teachers of it? Can your GP or practice nurse refer?

Lots of Catholic churches teach 'Natural Family Planning' which is usually exactly the same (except of course that you avoid any barrier methods so have to abstain at risky times rather than using something else!). Not sure about teachers of FAM in the UK though this website might have some leads: www.fertilityuk.org/

There's also a website associated with the Weschler book (ovusoft), though I haven't used it. And there's a good community for fam on 'livejournal' which is worth a read through if you're considering it. I learnt from the book, and did it with a friend who was coming off the pill in order to get pregnant (which she did pretty promptly), so we were able to talk about it together.

cleverything - yes, my cycle is between 26 and 42 days, really unpredictable. Before I started charting I would sometimes spend weeks expecting my period any day (with associated angst about having somehow got pregnant . . . ). I have continued to chart when single because it's just so handy to know what's going on.

Thanks a lot for these helpful posts, I will follow up the books and website you mention. I like the idea that it can actually be exciting waiting for the time each month to ditch the condoms! I posted another thread under Relationships today as I've got a broader issue of lack of sex, as well as contraception conundrum, but when we were trying to have a baby (we ended up with twins:)) our sex life did get significantly better and more frequent - in part due to not worrying about contraception, but also that there were certain times each month when I just had to make the effort, and this seemed to help me overcome the day-to-barrier of 'just not feeling like it' if you know what I mean.... anyway, I will certainly look into this. Also helpful to know that Persona is not very effective.

Arionator, could you just clarify what you mean by

do you mean use a condom during the 'safe time' as well as abstaining during the risky/fertile time?

Yes, the point about FAM is that it's not a contraceptive method in itself, it just gives you the information about your cycle - how fertile you are likely to be, whether you have yet ovulated etc. What you do with that information is up to you. So for instance you could be ultra-careful at one point in your life and avoid penetrative sex altogether between the end of your period and confirmed ovulation, and always use a condom in the second (infertile) phase, just in case; or you could use a condom + spermicide; or a condom + withdrawal at the riskiest time - or whatever. Personally I steer a sort of middle course because I don't use anything after I'm sure I've ovulated (my temperature shift and other signs are always very obvious and I have a lot of confidence in them now) but I use condoms from the end of my period until I'm sure ovulation is over. The TCOYF book teaches the 'dry days' method which allows for some unprotected sex between the end of your period and the beginning of the fertile phase for most women (depends on your particular cycle length). Personally I think this is the riskiest bit of the method and I don't do it - there's some discussion of this every now and again on the 'livejournal' community. Anecdotal evidence would suggest that if the method does fail, it's probably from having sex at this point and the sperm then hanging around for several days and lasting long enough to fertilise the egg when you do ovulate.

Anyway, that's all a bit technical but the main point is that if you learn the method you just have lots of information about your own fertility and then its up to you what you do with that info. So obviously a woman who's just trying to space babies might be a lot more relaxed than one who definitely doesn't want another.

The one shortcoming of the book I'd say is that it underplays the extent to which the hormones around ovulation can override your rational brain! But this is only really a problem if you plan to abstain at that time - if you're OK with using a barrier method then then it's not such a problem.

OK, thanks. I will definitely get the book, and also look into whether there are any FAM teachers around here, though I don't have much money at the moment presumably it wouldn't be more than a few sessions. I need to wait until my cycle goes back to normal (only had one period since giving birth 7 months ago) but before that I had a very regular, if annoyingly short, cycle (24 days).

Good luck bellbell. You can start charting even if your cycle is funny/irregular/not yet returned though it may be rather confusing. One advantage is that your first ovulation will come before your first period, so if you're charting you may spot the ovulation and know that you are fertile again. The book is not too expensive on Amazon, but if money is tight it's also worth checking your public library as I've seen it in quite a few.