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Family planning

desperately wants an abortion but family will disown me.

8 replies

KissMyMarigolds · 10/04/2011 11:30

This would be my 3rd child but first with new partner. My family know that I struggle with my other 2. And make jokes that I won't cope. I'm just coming up to 12 weeks and im in a blind panic cos I've decided I don't want it. I really don't want this child and i really don't want to stay with my partner anymore and I can't break up with him if I'm still pregnant cos I cant cope with a custody battle once its born. I'm in dispair and need the termination now cos of how pregnant I am :(

I don't know what to do. I suffer from bpd and slight bipolar and thats how i got into this mess .

OP posts:
ByTheSea · 10/04/2011 11:33

It's your life and will be your child if you go through with the pregnancy. You can have the termination and tell your family you miscarried.

Littlefish · 10/04/2011 11:41

What an awful situation.

You need to do what is best for you and your immediate family (by that, I mean, your and your children).

Is there anyone in RL you could talk this through with (ie. GP, family planning advisor etc.)

HerBeX · 10/04/2011 11:50

Yes if you need an abortion go and have one, no-one else has the right to tell you what to do.

As Bythesea says, you can tell everyone else you've had a miscarriage. But what I would also do, is take advantage of any counselling service offered because it sounds like you really need to talk to someone in RL. Good luck.

differentnameforthis · 10/04/2011 13:49

You can & should have a termination if that is what you need to do.

I had a contraceptive failure a few years ago & fell pregnant when my youngest was just 5mths. There was no way I could go ahead with the pregnancy. The first 2 took a huge toll on my body & I wasn't ready to go through it all again.

With the support of just pone friend & my dh I terminated the pregnancy. No one in my family even knows, as they are all very much ante choice & would accept what I did.

It did confirm for me that 2 children is enough. So I have no plans to extend my family.

You can & should do this, if that is what you want.

First stop is to see your GP. Explain that you are pregnant & don't want to be, they will know that it is urgent, as to how far along you are. Let them set the wheels in motion for you.

Have the termination
Dump your partner

Are you medicated for the bipolar? If not, consider doing so. If you are, maybe you need to review your meds if you are prone to making bad choices?

Get on with your life, no regrets!

I don't know much about Bipolar, but I am here to answer an Qs wrt the termination.

differentnameforthis · 10/04/2011 13:50

as they are all very much ante choice & wouldn't accept what I did.

KissMyMarigolds · 12/04/2011 21:31

Have consultation booked for termination, Im all set. But I cant bear to tell my family. Just had a phonecall from my mother asking about when the scan is and my midwife appointment was. I just played along.
Whats worst is I told my partner that I miscarried today, fuck sake. His mum is very good friends with my mum. Im sure something will be said.

I just dont think I have the heart to lie to my mother about terminating it, I feel like I need to just go ahead with the pregnancy to please everyone else. My mum is too excited about another grandchild.

Whats even worst is that my partner told my mum I was pregnant just over a week ago. I hadnt said anything because I have been to-ing and fro-ing over whether to keep it or not. If he hadnt said anything I would have only had to lie to him.

OP posts:
edam · 12/04/2011 21:37

I'm sorry you are under so much pressure, and even sorrier that your family aren't supportive. No-one has the right to make you continue with an unwanted pregnancy. Families are supposed to support you and love you whatever decisions you make - even if they disapprove.

Far better for your children that you have a termination than continue with an unwanted pregnancy that will put huge strain on your ability to cope.

DO take advantage of the counselling offered and then go and see your GP for more, including your treatment options for bipolar.

differentnameforthis · 13/04/2011 03:02

Good luck, Kiss. I am so sorry you are unsupported, it is hard enough as it is!

Talk on here if you need it. Happy for you to pm me too.

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