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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

what I do about this language course disaster?

24 replies

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 18:25

Hi my dd has just started a language course which she wanted to do. First time was ok but I wondered about it because I sat talking to another mum the whole time who told me about the huge problems her dd has speaking/learning/socialising.

Second time today was a big disaster as far as I can make out. This girl was climbing on desks, throwing things around. I was waiting outside for the last half and I saw that the teacher came out and spoke to the girl's mum for about 30 minutes out of the 1 1/2 hour session. Then the mum had to go in and was speaking to the girl. Then one of the boys went out looking for his mum and she went back in with him and came out and was talking to the teacher for 10 minutes and so on.

It seemed to be there was little actual lesson going on. dd said it was awful and she couldn't concentrate on anything with all the background problems.

OP posts:

BonsoirAnna · 26/03/2009 18:26

Complain and hope this little girl gets excluded. What else can you do?

Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 18:28

Not sure what to do about it. I spoke to the teacher afterwards because dd was really unhappy and I had seen that it looked like chaos. She confirmed that dd had been very unhappy and unable to concentrate and that it had been very difficult.

I have just today transferred the money for the full course and I don't really see this working out.

The teacher feels the girl I spoke of may be autistic to some degree but the mother doesn't think so.

I don't really see how under those conditions the teacher can teach a foreign language and the kids can learn it. What should I do? If I take my dd out, the course would not be abla to continue because they wouldn't be enough dc

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BonsoirAnna · 26/03/2009 18:29

If this other little girl has some kind of learning difficulty, she shouldn't be in a private extra-curricular language course - it is not appropriate for her and it is entirely unfair on all the other participants. This is not inclusive state schooling - it is an entirely different environment. Complain. If the course refuses to exclude this little girl, demand your money back.

Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 18:31

The mother of this girl was telling me the first time that her dd refused to speak, would generally not listen and it was the fault of the preschool/school and I had felt quite sorry for her and the dd. The girl did not want to do this course and was crying on the first day because she didn't want to go in but the mother is hoping it will give her confidence and help her progress. I am not sure what is the correct thing to do.

I did briefly see the school director and told her that my dd had been unhappy with the course and I did not see itworking. she will call me tomorrow but I am not sure how to handle it.

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BonsoirAnna · 26/03/2009 18:34

It doesn't sound as if this little girl's mother's ambitions for her daughter are at all consistent with her daughter's real needs.

Really - please don't hesitate to defend your own DD's position (and incidentally the position of the rest of the class). The school shouldn't have taken on a child with SN in an extra-curricular language class if the child is disturbing the whole class by being there.

Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 18:38

yes I think there is no point for my dd in continuing with the course under those conditions really. She will learn little and is frustrated and unhappy, however I don't want to be nasty v.a.v. the other family.

I might write off the money and just take her out. Not sure yet really. Thanks for your advice

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Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 20:55

my little drama

It's not such a big deal but dd really likes 1 girl in the course so she is a bit sad at not continuing, she was in tears when I picked her up though. So don't know what to do. What do you think? Don't want to be a nasty cow about the problem child either

aaaaaaahhhhhhh where's that 1950s housewife, she could fix it, wouldn't she?

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Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 20:56

oops wrong thread!

That'll teach me to always preview but I never do

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MmeLindt · 26/03/2009 21:05

ZZZen
How old is your DD? I am assuming this is a French class? You could just send her down here in the school holidays.

To your dilema.

I do agree with Anna, in that the school and the teacher should not expect the other children in the class to put up with the distruptive behaviour of one child. In this case, as she obviously has some kind of learning difficulties, it is difficult to say if the teacher is at fault.

This was only the second lesson and she is already having to leave the classroom to speak to the mother about her DD. I can imagine that the teacher is just as unhappy about the situation as you are.

Having been in a situation that I had a difficult, distruptive pupil, though not on this scale, I would say that there is a good chance that the school will step in. Otherwise they will lose the other pupils too.

I would speak to the school director about the situation and yes, ask for the money back if they will not do something about the sitation.

It is not in anyones best interest for the class to continue, least of all the poor girl who obviously needs her mother to stop pretending that her daughter is not SN and get her some help. I doubt very much that the classes are helping her selfesteem.

Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 21:09

Dd is 8 1/2 now ML. Ok thanks.

Yes, I do feel for the teacher but she did not make a good impression on me tbh when I spoke to her briefly after the course. Mind you I'd imagine her nerves might have been raw. She says that my dd "allows herself to be distracted by this girl's behaviour" sort of as if dd is at fault for finding it hard to learn under those conditions IYSWIM

Her thinking is presuambly that if I withdraw from the course and demand a refund, the course will not be able to take place since they would not have the requisite number of pupils for it.

Hmm I hope I'm not being all weirdy and too precious but I don't see how kids can learn under those conditions, seems no point in it to me

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MmeLindt · 26/03/2009 21:11

Well there is no point in paying for her to be upset.

And the teacher is frankly ridiculous to insinuate that your DD should concentrate more when the other girl is so distruptive.

Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 21:17

I think I might just write it all off. You see even if this girl were to leave the course, I was not sure after that quite snarky comment really what to think about the teacher. Even if dd is 8 now (crumbs!), I still can't stand her coming out of a classroom in tears (especially if it is something she really does not have to do IYSWIM).

However I know I am a bit over-protective what with past experience etc.

OK I will churn out what you two have said tomorrow and see what they have to say about it.

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Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 21:19

which perhaps also goes to show ML that you were right when you said we do too many activities these days (too much for the mums in any case)!

Don't think I could teach a group of dc though, I am stressed out enough with playdates.

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MmeLindt · 26/03/2009 21:36

Wait and see what they say tomorrow. If they move the girl out of the class then you could let your DD try next week. If she is still not happy then take her out and chalk it up to experience.

Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 21:44

yes that's a good way to go. I'll do that.

You don't think it's pretty horrible towards the mum and her dd if she gets excluded as a result of what I say? That's why I'm a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing and wondering if I shouldn't be somehow helping make it work for her dd etc... blah but I don't see how really.

Oh how minor my problems are these days though. Ha! what a joke compared to this time last year

Thanks for listening to my ramblings

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MmeLindt · 26/03/2009 21:51

No, don't feel bad about the other mum/child. She is being unreasonable by forcing her child into a situation where she is obviously out of her depth.

My feeling is that the Germans are even less keen than Brits to have their DC diagnosed with any kind of SN, as the whole Sonderschule has such a bad reputation. The "doofe" DC go to the Sonderschule.

In UK I feel that the schools are better equiped to deal with DC with SN and the children do not feel so excluded.

Good luck.

Shitemum · 26/03/2009 21:51

If one person leaving the class will mean it can no longer run then the teacher will probably not want to exclude the girl.
I agree with others that if the girl has this many behavioural problems a French class is not going to help her one bit.

Original poster

ZZZen · 26/03/2009 21:55

oh you're right sm, how stupid of me not to think of that, it makes no difference whether we withdraw or the other girl were excluded, the course would no longer take place anyway. Duh.

I think the mum does not want to think her dd may have SN and I don't know if she does either , just going on what the mum and the teacher said, it sounds like it to me. She did say the pre-school thought her dd had SN of some description.

Well as that may be, think we'll drop the course. If dd gets nothing out of it, I don't think it can be great for any of the other participants either

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SlartyBartFast · 26/03/2009 22:06

can you ask for a refund?
or try again another term?
when this girl isnt there.
i am sure it is quite a common problem.

dd had a very disruptive boy in swimming lessons, who, eventually, was taken out and did one to one classes.

Original poster

ZZZen · 27/03/2009 08:12

we'll see what they have to say when they call. I have written an email explaining what I was unhappy about and the points raised on the thread, I will see if they have some solution we could try otherwise I have decided to just drop it

Thanks for the advice

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Bucharest · 27/03/2009 08:17

Sounds as if the teacher hasn't got a grip of the class tbh....irrespective of what the other children are like.She should not be leaving the class unattended while she speaks to a parent. She should be doing that at the end of the lesson. How old are they? 90 minutes sounds a long time to me if they are little ones.

Original poster

ZZZen · 27/03/2009 08:20

They are 8 bucharest. Well that was one thing I mentioned in my email that I felt she should discuss the problems with parents AFTER the lesson and not during it, at least not for that length of time.

OP posts:

Bucharest · 27/03/2009 09:55

Of course she should- otherwise even if the class was going well, you wouldn't be getting your money's worth!

Hope you sort it out....

Original poster

ZZZen · 27/03/2009 11:05

thanks haven't heard back but the email I wrote this morning was a bit STERN in tone so they are probably not keen to call!

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