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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Do you force your kids to do instrument practice and/or not let them stop when they want to?

53 replies

sunnydelight · 22/09/2008 05:32

I'm not being as confrontational as the title suggests, honest, just curious.

I'm facinated at the number of conversations I've had with friends recently who seem to spend huge amounts of energy nagging reluctant kids to practice the piano or whatever. One perfectly pleasant woman won't let her 9 year old have anything to eat in the morning until he's done 20 minutes instrument practice, another trades minutes of practice time for minutes of tv/computer time. This kid has been begging for at least two years now to stop lessons but she won't let him as she feels it's good to play an instrument.

With three kids obviously I know how important it is to encourage "sticking at things", and I don't let my kids chop and change at a whim. Money spent on instruments is obviously also a factor. I do however wonder what is the point of insisting that kids continue with something that they really don't want to do. Surely "extra-curricular activities" should be something that kids enjoy doing, and a bit of a treat away from the usual school work, homework etc. What do you think?

OP posts:
Beetroot · 22/09/2008 18:28

Bridie - what level are your kids.

15 mins is pretty good

mine did 5 when they first started

tortoiseshell · 22/09/2008 18:44

I agree, 15 mins is fantastic if it's every day. What's not ok is 15 mins the morning of your lesson then nothing more for the rest of the week!

LilyDale · 22/09/2008 18:45

Ds1 is very good and always does his piano practise without nagging.

Ds2 is a different matter - I have to nag him so much. However, he is streets ahead of ds1 so I think it is hard to persuade him that doing more would improve his playing. I think the logic is "I'm already better than ds1 anyway so what's the point?"

random · 22/09/2008 18:58

Ds plays the guitar non stop ..have to nag him to stop

Bridie3 · 22/09/2008 21:16

Both have done Grade 3, Beetroot. One is now doing Jazz Grade 3, and the other is just playing for fun for a while. I hope we'll move on to Grade 4 in due course, but I'm waiting for the old teacher to retire.

They have both started the guitar and one will also be doing cornet.

arfishy · 22/09/2008 22:49

Oh dear. We just can't fit in any more practice.

She plays twice on Tuesdays and on Saturday and Sunday. Is that really bad? I asked her teacher if she needed to do more but he said she was ok.

Should we be doing more? DD is 5.

tortoiseshell · 22/09/2008 23:42

arfishy - in reply to a post further up - be careful about getting your dd to do violin AND cello - they can be quite confusing I think as fingerings are different and bow holds are different, although they feel like they should be similar. If she wants to do cello, then perhaps a straight switch over would be better.

Dd has just started the cello, and LOVES it!

tortoiseshell · 22/09/2008 23:42

(She is 5 too - was 5 in August).

Tinker · 22/09/2008 23:47

I used to beg mine to give it up (the violin). Her lack of practising and the rows this created were horrible. But she refused to give it up until...all of her friends had as well.

asdmumandteacher · 22/09/2008 23:49

My hubby and i are bth music teachers. Our son never practices and it infuriates us but tomoro i am starting it supervised!!!!

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 22/09/2008 23:51

I won't say I have to nag DD1 to practise the violin, but I do have to remind her a lot. It isn't that she doesn't want to do it, she just doesn't think of doing it without a reminder.
The main problem is that she demands an audience for her practising, which can be inconvenient. The other problem is that if she doesn't think she is playing well, she throws a strop, and storms around crying because she is rubbish and she will never be any good and she might as well stop now etc etc.
It's all a bit emotional and wearing.

TheFallenMadonna · 22/09/2008 23:53

My parents never made me practice. And I never did music exams either. I wasn't going to be a musician and was doing it for fun. I played in an orchestra and had lessons for 7 years, and then continued to play in orchestras and wind bands after I left home.

DS had his first clarinet lesson today, and I don't know whether I can be as relaxed as my parents were with me. We shall see

arfishy · 22/09/2008 23:55

You right Tshell, DD's teacher said it would be very hard to do both at the same time. One's treble and one's bass, so the strings are reversed (or something along those lines).

I'm hoping she'll stick with the violin or she'll go back to the start with the cello (agree we'd have to do a straight swap) and be upset because all of her friends are in instrumental groups and she's not. I suspect she wants to do cello because she can do it sitting down [we are not known for our athleticism].

I have a feeling tennis is cancelled today so we might practice scales. I have a lovely new scales and arpeggios book for her. Mwahahah.

Tinker · 22/09/2008 23:56

Oh, LGP, that scene you've painted sounds very, very familiar

LittlePushka · 23/09/2008 00:12

I HATED my piano lessons and Dad said you will regret giving up. At the time (about ten) I swore I never woud regret it .....but have done for at least the last twenty years!

Try differnt ways to practice, different places, different tunes, practices with a little "band" of thers also learning.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 23/09/2008 00:15

DD1 has just started secondary school and has been invited to join the school band, she is thrilled.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 23/09/2008 00:17

Glad I'm not alone, Tinker!

overthehill · 23/09/2008 00:18

It's not so bad with dd(12) now, but she's always been a more amenable child. However, it's always been a massive struggle with ds(9) even though he's very musical as he hates having to work at things - and he was desperate to start the piano as he's always wanted to play the church organ. TBH I was just like him, and my parents had a terrible problem getting me to practise. I agree with people who say that it's a question of breaking through the 'pain barrier' and I can remember when it suddenly occurred to me that I could play proper music and it began to make sense.

WendyWeber · 23/09/2008 00:18

I was v strict with mine when little, they all practised religiously every day & even (apparently) enjoyed it.

None of them play anything now although DD2 (23) is nearly almost just about at the point of taking up flute again (she got up to Grade 7)

ggglimpopo · 23/09/2008 00:28

hijacky wave to wendyweber (and yes, it is bloody late here and I should be in bed - looking up alcohol intake and breastfeeding on kellymom.......)

WendyWeber · 23/09/2008 00:32

Hello, gggl

It's late here so it is really really late there - go to bed, you bad thing! (I am going now, honest!)

ggglimpopo · 23/09/2008 00:33

have had bery boppy evening - but yes, should go to bed......

WendyWeber · 23/09/2008 00:35

Why are you looking up alcohol intake/breastfeeding? Checking if you can have another glass? Wondering whether to make DS2 wait until the morningnow? What?

ggglimpopo · 23/09/2008 00:45

went to booksigning, had apero then went out to dinner and had bit less than half bottle of wine, then went to bar and drank coke (!) - have come home sober but with guilty conscience. Will bosom him as usual in morning.

Thankfully the author had zingy shoes but crap wine was on offer, otherwise would have had more to drink

tortoiseshell · 23/09/2008 08:44

arfishy - the difference as far as I can see in fingering (being a non-string player) is that firstly there are different strings - violin goes G-D-A-E, cello is C-G-D-A. This isn't necessarily a problem, but I reckon the different fingering (because of the relative sizes of the instruments) would be confusing because they are similar otherwise. On a violin, say you're on the D string, as each finger goes down you play E-F#-G-A. If you want to play F natural then you move your 2nd finger into 'low' position (next to the 1st finger). But on the cello on the D string you would put your fingers down to play E-Fnatural-F#-G. Which is quite different. And the bow hold is different as well.

On the other hand, I know a girl who switched and because of the violin experience very quickly started cello in orchestras etc. Because the cello parts are often easier I think (especially in beginner groups) so it wouldn't be too much of a problem.