Autumn / Winter 2025 Music

[northerngoldilocks]

Time for a new thread in time for the new school term!

Come and talk about music lessons, choosing instruments, exams, auditions, specialist schools, orchestras or whatever other music activities are going on. Everyone is welcome, from those with total beginners to those whose children are studying music at advanced levels. Ask for advice or share successes or struggles.

Is it worth a discussion with him face to face @chocolateisnecessary? It’s always a bit awkward if you end up saying you’ll change but if it’s part of a wider discussion on priorities and what works for your DD I think it’s fine. I’d be tempted to discuss what is reasonable - also not sure how old she is but that level of commitment sounds a lot. I don’t think any of my DDs music teachers think she wants this as a career at this stage but at 12 /13 they’re not asking her to choose!

is it an instrument where you will be relatively easily able to find a new teacher?

She’s 11. He’s v ‘She can’t compete without that level of commitment.’ It’s the same every lesson and relentless. She feels she can’t please him. She’s a trial tonight with someone who’s as good but apparently much softer.

He keeps saying she should be home schooled to
do the practice. Even if she stays, it’s clear that be won’t take teaching her as seriously if she doesn’t ditch everything else.

@chocolateisnecessary - unless she has already got her Fellowship and is looking for a very early application to conservatoire he is being ridiculous. Who is she meant to be "competing" against anyway? I have a DD studying for an MPerf at RCM after getting a first in undergrad on under 3 hours of practice a day. The idea an 11 year old should be homeschooled to allow for music practice is crazy. Mine did Saturday JD on 2 instruments on less than an hour a night on each and even at specialist school for 6th form rarely practiced for more than 2 hours a day.

@Londonmummy66That makes me feel better. She does 45mins harp, an hour or more piano and around 30mins violin most nights. And she composes for fun. It’s all through choice. It struck me as madness but music isn’t my field and I just don’t know. But when he told her to quit ensembles and I saw her face, I just knew it was the end of the road.

I know many excellent young musicians through our JD/ NYO. Only one home schooled and not for reasons of practice. These young people are out winning multiple competitions and/or seats in youth orchestras. Hard working and organised but they also do other things too. Music is meant to be fun and a teacher should start with where you want to be, combined with the time/ energy/ resources available and come up with a joint plan. It might involve compromise as in you say you want grade X in X months but can only practice x minutes a week. Teacher might suggest it could take a bit longer but we'll see how it goes. Hope you reach an agreement.

Bloody hell. I started this from ‘maybe there is a way forward’ approach. But honestly if that was any of my DDs teachers I’d be just thinking they were totally incompatible with her / our life. That said for some kids home schooling to fit in loads of music is a thing, so guess there are families who are more serious about adapting their whole lives around music.

your DD does loads more than mine it seems and is at least a school year younger! But I suppose it depends on what your DD wants from it.

I think piano is where she decompresses and she just sees the harp as something Welsh kids do. Violin is there really for school orchestra and it’s so much more portable than a harp! I don’t think she’s even thinking that far ahead, she just loves to play. So piling pressure on just feels massively unhelpful and anxiety inducing.

That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard for a young person. DS does violin and piano practice everyday but still does cycling training quite seriously and he quite enjoys school. He’s quit a few things a long the way since reception but all from his choice not told by anyone. All his teachers were actually encouraging him to enjoy other things in life. Maybe he was lucky to have had nice teachers. I wouldn’t let DS continue if the pressure was that much! Fingers crossed the trial goes well!

Ta! She also loves playing football. There is some balance! And she needs that and school I think.

Hi@horseymum,thank you so much for your kind offer of advice. I’d like to know if anyone has done it during their gcse exam years?( Year 11), and how they managed to fit all the activities around their revisions please? This would be for someone who isn’t the top of class and would need the revision time. Thank you.

Piano time seems fine for this age, violin won't be at a competitive level on 30min practice so if it's the violin teacher, he's right but not everyone wants to compete. I think suggesting homeschooling is not wise unless the child is a prodigy obsessed with music. It's very tempting though with three instruments as there is simply not enough time in the day, especially with three instruments and composing. DD studies three instruments and dances, and it's tough.

It’s piano. She likes violin but it’s definitely her third one.

@chocolateisnecessary please don't make her feel she's not doing enough - and please let her have teachers who make her feel good about herself. Music is a long game and it should be fun!

Yeah, I agree. This is meant to be fun, it’s her childhood.

Piano is a very competitive niche too, perhaps the teacher is very ambitious for their students. I guess homeschooling can be miserable for pianists as they don't have orchestras to socialise and have fun. We know quite a few homeschoolers but somehow they're all orchestral instruments. Maybe just our bubble though.

That teacher sounds psychotic. Music is supposed to be 'fun', which he seems to think is a dirty word.

The competitive music world is, thankfully, alien to me, but anyone putting that much pressure on an 11yo shouldn't be teaching, IMHO.

I’m so confused by an 11 year old doing 1 hour a day and that not being enough to be ‘competitive’. In what? Is she targeting the Chopin competition?

I feel like perhaps this is a different world to us but DD did her grade 8 the week after her 12th birthday and I can probably count on 1 hand the days she did 1 hr practice preparing for that. I know some kids practice loads more and I’m sure they make good progress but for DD it’s enough to progress as much as she wants right now and I think that’s the key.

In 'less crazy' news, DS did a singing recital yesterday in preparation for his diploma. Raised quite a crowd, and got lots of glowing praise. 35 mins of singing at such power - I don't know how he did it. But I was very proud!

It is so tricky isn’t it. One of our teachers suggests 10 mins practice per grade so we are up to an hour now. That definitely doesn’t happen though except in the run up to the day. We are in that phase and man it is tough! Just not enough time in the day. With two other instruments and orchestras etc and just playing etc. Very tricky balance. My eldest just can’t motivate himself to practice at all at the moment despite loving orchestras etc so progress has just stalled.

This thread is filling up so I’ve started a new one here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/extra_curricular_activities/5502662-spring-summer-2026-music-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

i almost set it up for Spring only as we are getting more posts recently but will see how it goes. Can always have a second thread! Might switch to school terms at some point!

DS has never done anywhere near 10 minutes a grade. I'd never heard any of his diploma singing pieces until the recital yesterday!

Bloody hell chocolate, that's crazy. It sounds like piano teacher thinks she has potential to be a ?conservatoire ?competition level pianist, and is trying to teach accordingly without any consultation as to whether that's what she actually wants. It may be his "for fun" is still a good and challenging level of playing and that might be what she wants at the moment. Though can also understand if she'd rather be with someone who listens better.

Serious level piano is known for teachers not liking dual studies, more than most instruments I think. Huge amount of repertoire, expected to memorise massive swathes of music, a lot of drills, and not much mechanical limit on how much you can practise. I think you can still be a very good post grade 8 pianist without trying for that track. There's always scope to take it more seriously later.

If she really wanted to do piano that seriously I'd consider a music school before home ed. Seems to me it would be better to be with a cohort of peers who have the same obsession than sitting at home on your own.

AN hour a day at 11 is plenty - DD did less than that preparing from Grade 8 at 12.

ETA - and got into conservatoire on her keyboard skills on not a lot more than that a day.

Thanks for the flag, extracts look manageable, I think DD will give it a shot. One question, which is highly highly unlikely to have personal relevance this year - we were wondering if the extracts are related to what they play as a group in 2nd round auditions, or they just get asked some of the extracts in their individual audition. I like that they're up front about only listening to 3 minutes of each piece, we can concentrate on polishing that much rather than the full piece just in case.