Parents not appreciating volunteers at Guides

[rachrose8]

I’ve been running Guides for over 30 years. Almost all our girls are from middle class families. On Monday one of our leaders left as she is moving away for work. She’s volunteered weekly for over 12 years along with helping each year on our indoor winter weekend and longer summer camp.
At the start of term, I let the parents know that we were organising a collection for her, and if they would like to donate they could send in cash, or contribute via the Guide bank account.
We have over 20 Guides and yet only 5 of the parents sent a donation. It makes me really sad on behalf of this leader who has given so much of her time that so few parents could take the time to donate to her. Why aren’t these parents donating to a leaving gift? Is it that they don’t appreciate what volunteers do and so can’t be organised enough to make a donation?

I'm also a volunteer and this doesn't really surprise me. Most of our parents are quite appreciative but I'm not sure how many would cough up money for a gift!
Unless your unit is really struggling for money I wouldn't think twice about buying something from unit funds to say thank you. We buy leaving gifts for young leaders for example.

We recieved a box of chocolates from a leaving Cub last year. It was memorable because it was unusual.

I just remember that the kids love it and that's why I do it

How many times have you contacted them? I would have done a message 1 week before she was leaving as well - if the message is too far out, people think that they have plenty of time and then forget.

But also, as a volunteer in a number of capacities, it also doesn't surprise me - unless other people are volunteers themselves, they don't often appreciate the efforts people put in. People have often alluded to all the benefits I must be getting from various volunteer roles - because they wouldn't ever do something for nothing, they assume no-one else would either! Believe me, these mythical benefits and special treatment you get for being Chair of the PTA etc are very rarely true 🤣

Similar here: it's amazing how many parents don't understand the basic concept of volunteers and assume that you're paid for it - even though the small amount of subs (which some still avoid paying) is barely enough to cover the activities, resources and other basic costs of entertaining their child for a term.

I've no idea where they think the money for all the leaders' 'wages' magically comes from!

I run a different voluntary group and parents never say thank you to the team of volunteers who make it happen. It’s not that I expect it every time or anything but I’m surprised how totally uninterested they are in the volunteers and don’t even say thank you verbally at the end of term or send a text.

Yes, as a volunteer this doesn’t surprise me at all, sad though that is. I spent two years working my arse off as chair of our charity preschool. Got zero recognition, even from the rest of the committee who knew damn well what I was dealing with.

I met up with a group of about 8 friends recently. Two of us are the perpetual volunteers - running Cubs, PTA, football, etc. The rest looked very confused at the idea that they could volunteer for some of this stuff too, and even more confused when we talked about how hard we work and how frustrating it can get. Happy for their kids to benefit from volunteers though.

I am not surprised. Always has been and always will be like that.

You are hoping for recognition of 12 years of dedication from parents that might have only been there 1 year or term or possibly less.

They might be middle class parents but everyone is feeling the cost of living affecting them and people have a lot of demands to pay for school stuff at the start of the term.

I'm not surprised, though some people might have missed if you only messaged once . We do this for the volunteer coach's at kids football club and there's often a couple after the deadline asking if they can still contribute. It always seems to be the parents that help out with nothing, no canteen, no setting up or taking down the field, don't come when the teams travelling who also don't contribute to the gift for the coach. There's a lot of parents who are happy to pretend they don't see how hard volunteers work to keep their kids activities and clubs going.

I volunteer for Scouts and I think you’re being unreasonable expecting parents who already pay monthly for activities / uniform / activities to contribute again if a member of staff is leaving. Scouts and Guides attracts a lot of people who truly struggle to afford other activities for their kids. The gift should have been handled by girlguiding and then presented in front of parents.

My DH has been part of a Youth Organisation for over 30 years and has never had a leaving gift when he's left one role to go onto another. He'd have been surprised if he had.
And yes, many parents believe he is paid. He does get travel expenses when he drives long distances but that's it!

I volunteer for Scouts and I wouldn't expect a gift but my Akela frequently receives gifts.

I run a Rainbow group. The subs include £5 extra per year, per child, and I get all of the leaders a nice bottle of wine and chocs at the end of the year with it.

Given that most of these parents think the £135 a year they pay in subs also includes wages for the leaders I’m not surprised.
however, somebody else said that you are asking parents to recognise 12 years service when their child has only been a member for a year. So many people can’t see past their own child.
I’ve run a hugely successful youth group for close to 25 years. We have a waiting list long enough to start a second group. I’m starting to see the children of my early members coming back as members themselves. And yet parents just complain about the length of time their child has to wait, heaven forbid they should volunteer themselves (we’ve all heard the excuses about jobs and families etc - do they think the current leaders live alone in a cupboard at the club meeting hall?!)

OP, just buy a lovely gift with club funds and put next year’s subs up a little. And start a parents rota.

I'm a rainbow and brownie leader. I cover the costs of all leaving gifts out of unit funds. As pp have said, many parents can't see past the 3-4yrs that their child is with you so don't appreciate the long term volunteers. They also don't understand that we are unpaid, and the hours of effort and training that goes on behind the scenes. But also, we are in London (which is maybe particularly transient) and so have leaders joining and leaving every year. I wouldn't want to ask for that many extra donations. If your unit funds don't allow, I'd suggest putting your subs up by £5 to cover it.

(we’ve all heard the excuses about jobs and families etc - do they think the current leaders live alone in a cupboard at the club meeting hall?!)

This made me laugh hard 🤣 So true.

Thanks for all the messages - I understand the comments about the fact she’s been there 12 years, while their child may have been there only a year. However, almost all the Guides have been away on trips for around 7 nights in the last 18 months, and as running residentials takes a higher amount of effort (and obviously they come in way cheaper than school trips) it is still a surprise that so few parents were prepared to give a small donation.
We did add some unit funds to the donations, so were able to give her a gift voucher along with flowers and a card.

I think most people don’t realise how much a thank-you text or a card means to volunteers. I’ve had parents pick their girls up from the coach after a week long International camp without so much as a thank-you form the girls or their parents.
One of the strangest experiences for my leadership team was a Guide mum who came into Guides to give me a bottle of wine for giving her son a lift to Cub camp with my own son. This was only weeks after we’d taken her daughter away with Guides … for which there was no thanks. The leaders couldn’t quite comprehend this !

I don’t understand this I’m afraid - always send thank yous and contribute to leaving presents. I’m always grateful to people who contribute of their time to help young people. Always and always thank you gifts. No excuses.

If you’ve only sent one message so far, I would definitely send a reminder stating that X is leaving tomorrow, and that you are accepting contributions to the leaving present.It’s also worth giving a PayPal address as not everybody carries cash.

Having arranged group presents for a number of reasons, I find that people always intend to contribute, but don’t get round to doing so. What happens a lot is that seeing the gift being given is what prompts people to chip in. It’s annoying as you never know exactly what your budget is. I’m lucky enough that if things feel a bit light, I can chip in a bit extra to get a decent present without feeling the pinch. Normally, by the time everyone who wants to has got round to contributing, it’s all square. Usually, a couple of people will also get in touch to check that you’re not too out of pocket. I normally expect about half to contribute if it’s a large group, usually more if it’s a very small group.

Some people may also choose to do their own thing.

As you have used unit funds towards the present, I would make it known that there is still opportunity for people to contribute and put it back into unit funds, if there is an acceptable way of doing this.

One of the strangest experiences for my leadership team was a Guide mum who came into Guides to give me a bottle of wine for giving her son a lift to Cub camp with my own son. This was only weeks after we’d taken her daughter away with Guides … for which there was no thanks. The leaders couldn’t quite comprehend this !

Maybe take a look at your team. The parents do notice this level of contempt.