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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

Is fishing really an icky hobby for a man?

50 replies

Floogal · 01/12/2023 22:07

My uncle, and an ex used to like fishing. I can take it or leave it. Does seem boring. Not sure if it would put me off a guy if I was single though. DH is an amateur fishkeeper, which is a different kettle of fish (pun intended).
The reason I ask is because there is that 'girls is players too' Tinder advert that keeps coming up. The 'lucky' man's profile says "the only fish you'll see in my hand is sushi" before he's selected. Also I have seen comments on discussions about off-putting men on OLD. One thing that apparently puts people off is men holding fish.

OP posts:

Twinstudy · 01/12/2023 23:19

I've been wondering what that line meant on the advert. I thought it was something dirty that I didn't understand 😄Bob Mortimer goes fishing, therefore fishing cannot be icky. Facts

TheClitterati · 01/12/2023 23:20

I've done a little fishing. Not really bothered by it.

But my dad fishes, I've always had male & female friends who fish. Where I live now on the coast loads of people, mostly men, fish.

It's a perfectly normal pastime.

My sisters bestie is always popping in with a fish she caught for them to cook together and eat. It's nice.

Is the OLD thing about religion?

DeedlessIndeed · 01/12/2023 23:24

It's a common joke, that the picture of a man standing holding a dead fish is so ubiquitous on OLD photos that it's considered now to be a cliché.

I think it is looked down upon because:

Men generally don't take as many pictures of themselves as women, so fishing pictures are over represented on OLD
Often, the man isn't even the focus of the photo - the focus is the lifeless-looking fish.
Feels a bit lazy, if the man didn't bother taking the time to get decent photos on OLD.
Similar to gym pictures etc, fishing pictures are a bit "show-off" and are more likely to appeal more to other men than women (this is a generalisation).

I don't think it's dislike of a genuine fishing hobby, but more the fact that if a man only fishes once a year, chances are that's the picture he'll use on OLD. Becomes repetitive and so a bit of a joke.

LauderSyme · 01/12/2023 23:25

I hope those of you worried about the pain fish feel are vegan. If not you are hypocrites.

SABM10 · 01/12/2023 23:26

It's just because it's a stereotypical OLD picture. Half the profiles seem to have 'man with big fish', 'man down pub/at festival with mates', 'man in cycling gear', 'man with (probably drugged) tiger in exotic location' etc etc.

I don't think it's about fishing per se, more the total lack of imagination/uniqueness! Having said that it would also put me off if I was OLD as nothing about fishing appeals to me.

LightDrizzle · 01/12/2023 23:39

I don’t think it’s so much the nature of the hobby as the tone deafness of choosing a picture of yourself holding a large struggling fish as your profile picture.

Someone who is solipsistic enough to think that because he was thrilled to catch a big fish, your average woman is going to beguiled by a photo of him holding it, - seems an unpromising prospect. Angling is hardly a universally celebrated spectator sport, not something one is likely to enjoy tagging along to for hours on end unless you are an angler yourself.

I don’t assume all anglers are dim and dull, but anglers who bait their lines with fish photos when angling for human companionship must be a bit dim I fear.

Do cross-stitchers and crocheters choose photos of themselves beaming over their creations on OLD? I’ve never seen it. Both sexes often opt for active sporty or outdoors photos but I get that, it’s saying, - I’m fit and active and I do stuff and don’t just sit in front of Antiques Roadtrip reruns all day with my head in a bucket of Jelly Beans. Most of us attempt to project our best selves, if that’s the best they can come up with then it’s a poor do.

Worriednanof1 · 02/12/2023 08:21

LauderSyme · 01/12/2023 23:25

I hope those of you worried about the pain fish feel are vegan. If not you are hypocrites.

I am, yes.

itsmyp4rty · 02/12/2023 08:26

Fishing holds no interest to me, but I'd rather someone who went fishing then someone who was obsessed with football or out drinking every weekend.

I can't really imagine any man I've ever met to say that the only fish he'd have in his hand is sushi. Sounds more like something a woman might say IMO. Maybe that's the point of it though.

Mummymummy89 · 02/12/2023 08:31

I'm not usually one to feel sorry for the menz (and I'm not single so no skin in the game myself), but it must be hard for them to get a profile together.

My colleague showed us his profile to get our thoughts, and every pic was him at a festival or doing his fire poi hobby amid likeminded hippie types, and we told him to include one of him in a suit at work (nothing identifying in the background obvs) because the whole profile just made him look like a jobless waster.

These fishing blokes are trying to demonstrate that they're outdoorsy, got a hobby, etc... I agree it's not appealing at all but what else have they got if they don't do fire poi...?

The pics in lycra on a bike aren't much more appealing lol, that was another colleague's profile

NoSquirrels · 02/12/2023 08:36

It’s not about whether fishing itself is ‘icky’, it’s that men who post pictures on online dating apps with them holding a big fish look like idiots - ‘look at my MASSIVE penis catch’.

It’s an ad for a dating app taking the piss out of men with bad online dating game. It’s not meant to be anti-anglers.

MissingMoominMamma · 02/12/2023 08:40

DeedlessIndeed · 01/12/2023 23:24

It's a common joke, that the picture of a man standing holding a dead fish is so ubiquitous on OLD photos that it's considered now to be a cliché.

I think it is looked down upon because:

Men generally don't take as many pictures of themselves as women, so fishing pictures are over represented on OLD
Often, the man isn't even the focus of the photo - the focus is the lifeless-looking fish.
Feels a bit lazy, if the man didn't bother taking the time to get decent photos on OLD.
Similar to gym pictures etc, fishing pictures are a bit "show-off" and are more likely to appeal more to other men than women (this is a generalisation).

The fish they cradle aren’t dead. They are usually very expensive carp which are then put back into the water. They can be worth thousands.

MayflyDays · 02/12/2023 08:54

Not all fishing is sitting in a chair with a beer by a stocked lake trying to catch a chub. I am female and flyfish. I use barbless hooks and always release. There are strict rules around fly fishing. I catch trout and salmon. You’ve got to be pretty tough as it involves wading and walking miles along the riverbank. I have fished in UK, Ireland, Iceland, Norway and Argentina. Planning a trip to Montana. It’s great fun.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 02/12/2023 09:43

I'm not against it. The blood sport issue is only reasonable from the viewpoint of a vegetarian.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 02/12/2023 09:50

It's a question of what appeals to you, isn't it? Dh is outdoorsy in general, and loves fishing, walking, cycling, running, swimming etc. I don't find that remotely off-putting. He also does a bit of gaming (reviled on MN, I know). But he's not a misogynist trying to get away from 'er indoors! We spends lots of time together, but we also each have our own interests.

Worriednanof1 · 02/12/2023 10:38

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 02/12/2023 09:43

I'm not against it. The blood sport issue is only reasonable from the viewpoint of a vegetarian.

So you think it's ok to be unkind to living creatures for sport if you eat meat anyway?

WhatYouWearing · 02/12/2023 16:25

LauderSyme · 01/12/2023 23:25

I hope those of you worried about the pain fish feel are vegan. If not you are hypocrites.

Yes I am. Next.

LauderSyme · 02/12/2023 16:28

I have been thinking about this and do agree that fishing is 'problematic' and I was probably being defensive on behalf of my relative whom I hate to think of as cruel.

WhatYouWearing · 02/12/2023 16:30

That's fair enough @LauderSyme in fact, it's good you've been thinking about it. When I was a meat eater I know I disconnected and tried not to think too deeply. (That's why I couldn't eat lamb - couldn't get away from the baby name thing)

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/12/2023 16:37

If I were to be in the slightest bit interested in OLD, I'd put a picture of me up with a 14lb Tench.

Unless you have the Carp Catchers who go all out with bait boats, drones, five pound of boilies per square metre and a gallon of attractant or competitive speed fishing (which I hate), you've basically got a bloke there who likes sitting in peace and quiet in the countryside, watching wildfowl, feeding Robins, watching grass snakes swimming, who is utterly patient and content.

MintJulia · 02/12/2023 16:52

Since I am happy to eat the mackerel or trout that he catches, it would be unreasonable to complain about the hobby.

And actually, if he's stressed, he goes fishing, thinks things through and comes back in a much better mood. The only downside I can see is live bait 😱

JamSandle · 02/12/2023 16:53

Traditionally it would be a great life skill.

mondaytosunday · 02/12/2023 18:27

A friends partner goes on fishing holidays (usually deep sea fishing). I think she welcomes the break!

Theproofofthepudding · 02/12/2023 18:40

It usually comes with the territory of being in tune with nature and is a much more wholesome hobby than many already mentioned. Gamers, Gamblers Footie hooligans gym bunnies taking steroids, pissheads etc

Waitingfordoggo · 02/12/2023 18:42

I get what they’re saying about the amount of photos of men holding carp in their OLD photos. I don’t think it would particularly put me off though. My DS (15) loves fishing (in fact so much that he is hoping to do a fisheries course at college) and we also have a very dear friend who enjoys it. Both are quiet, introverted but gentle types who enjoy quiet time sitting by a lake with a mate, chewing the fat and putting the world to rights. The overnight trips usually involve a stove, some sausages and hot chocolate. Sounds nice to me (apart from the actual fishing bit which I wouldn’t enjoy). I’d rather my son was into that than boxing, drinking or endless gaming. He does actually game as well, but also goes mountain biking, plays football and tennis.

So yeah, the posing-with-fish photos may be cringey but an angler himself could have some lovely qualities to share with a potential partner.

ChiaraRimini · 02/12/2023 19:38

It's really NOT about fish.
The point is that men make no effort with their OLD profiles and then moan that women aren't interested in them.
The reason that they have a pic of them with a fish as their main picture is because it's their Facebook profile pic.
When they signed up to Tinder, which requires you to link to your FB profile, they just ticked the box to use it as their OLD pic because they couldn't be bothered to ask themself "will women be attracted to a picture of me with a dead fish"?

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