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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

Forgetting to attend club

20 replies

tinatsarina · 10/10/2023 08:26

Primary 5 NI. So my son attends an after school club which is 40 pounds for 10 sessions he's attended one session and has forgotten to attend the rest so far. I've emailed the school asking what the protocol is for the older children as his name is on the list to go to this after school club but for some reason he's been allowed to leave the school grounds when he's supposed to be at this club.

The principal emailed back saying that yes he is on the list but it's not up to the after school instructor to go looking for individual children.

My issue is I see this as a big safeguarding issue. I could be out of the house thinking he's not due back until four o'clock and God forbid something was to happen and I think he's safe at school but actually school thinks he's home with me. I understand that because he's an older pupil he does need to start taking responsibility for his own daily activities but surely there's responsibility on the school as well to make sure that he is where he's supposed to be.

I've already spoke to him about it and has said he'll try better to remember that he's at the after school club. Is the school perfectly in the right or am I just been too precious?

OP posts:

littleducks · 10/10/2023 08:30

How old? Did he actually want to do this club?

When mine were in reception I would give them stickers that says "I'm going to after club today on" as they forgot what day of the week. After that they would remember but by time old enough to walk home alone it was not an issue

Whinge · 10/10/2023 08:33

he's attended one session and has forgotten to attend the rest so far.

I would say it's more likely that he doesn't actually want to attend, rather than he's forgotten.

Have you had a chat with him about why he's not going to the club?

Original poster

tinatsarina · 10/10/2023 19:16

He's 9 and he likes it when he went as most of his school friends go to, for him it's more about getting home to play on his console, partly why I thought the club would be good to help reduce his screen time.

OP posts:

Comefromaway · 11/10/2023 10:44

I'd say that is a procedure failure for a 9 year old.

The process at the primary school my children went to was that class teachers had a list of children who were attending after school clubs. At the end of the day children were dismissed to the playground where two staff members ensured that everyone was collected.

Children attending an after school club are collected by someone (a TA I think) who takes them to the club.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 11/10/2023 10:55

They can't leave our primary without a parent or known nominated adult collecting them, I'd say that's a big safeguarding issue!

Original poster

tinatsarina · 11/10/2023 19:36

He has permission to walk home himself, we're 10mins if even from school. Spoke to the head this morning she spoke to my son about remembering the club and that it's important that he attends so people know where he is. Fingers crossed he remembers next week.

OP posts:

Moominmammacat · 12/10/2023 09:49

One of mine ... 15 yo ... skived a whole two years of a voluntary afterschool GCSE ... didn't find out until we saw the exam wasn't timetabled. Negligent parenting.

Ellie1015 · 12/10/2023 09:53

Hopefully school will keep an eye out now that they are aware.

I would be telling son he chose to go, it has now been paid for so he must attend. If he comes back walk him back to afterschool late or no screen for the whole evening. I doubt he is forgetting especially if his friends are going he must see them go and opt to come home.

Ellie1015 · 12/10/2023 09:55

@YesThatsATurdOnTheRug

At many schools you can leave to walk hime yourself after a certain age (primary 4, so year 3 at my kids school).

lanthanum · 12/10/2023 12:24

I think that being old enough to walk home on his own has to come in tandem with being old enough to remember when he's supposed to be staying late. Where there is school-to-parent handover, then the school should ensure that happens, but if they are walking home alone then they are the parents' responsibility once dismissed.

It's not really practical for the person supervising the club to be chasing up missing children. Whoever is on the school gate can only be expected to know which pupils are allowed to go home on their own, and not to remember which of them should be staying late each day.

Make sure, for the future, that he knows what he should do if he gets home and you are not there. And look at strategies for remembering - getting his friends to remind him, put a tennis ball (or something relevant to the club) in his coat pocket that day so when he puts his coat on he notices something that will remind him, ask the class teacher to remind him.

Noorandapples · 12/10/2023 13:34

At that age I would expect his teacher to remind him and send him to the club rather than put his coat on. And even if it isn't standard, for them to do so for a bit if he's forgetting.
Although it's only ten mins away you could go down and turn him back around for the club for the time being until he can remember.

evtheria · 12/10/2023 13:42

As he's allowed to leave school on his own I think my expectations would be more that surely the club leader would just check rolecall/where missing kids were, even if just asking the other kids 'if X is absent today' especially as he's not shown up for nearly any of them! At our school they've requested parents to inform them when a child isn't attending (there are limited spaces) though how many do this I don't know. In your case I think it would be a considerate staff member who perhaps got in touch with you to ask if you were aware he wasn't attending the club.

If my DS was allowed to come home on his own (he isn't, but for this situation) I think I'd be mostly annoyed at him for the waste of club fees when he's asked to join, not told me he doesn't want to do it anymore, and merely because he wants to come home and game. Probably would ask him to pay back some of it, tbh, from pocket money.

JustAMinutePleass · 12/10/2023 13:56

At DS’ school children over Year 2 need to make their own way to after school classes. You need to give him a choice - he either remembers to go, or he pays back the cost of the classes through pocket money / gifts.

pizzaHeart · 12/10/2023 14:03

JustAMinutePleass · 12/10/2023 13:56

It was the same at DD’s primary. The club leaders usually were setting up where they were supposed to be. Children were leaving classes towards the staircase but they could equally go home or to the club from there.

thirdfiddle · 12/10/2023 22:48

I'd be inclined to remove the permission to walk home alone. If child can't be trusted to remember where he's supposed to be it's not safe.

Original poster

tinatsarina · 14/10/2023 18:23

Thanks everyone for the responses, now the school is a bit more aware I think they will remind him for me.

OP posts:

Jellymoon1 · 02/11/2023 08:13

This reply has been deleted

We've removed this thread as the OP had some privacy concerns.

ilovesushi · 22/12/2023 17:53

I am pretty sure that when mine did afterschool clubs in primary, the teacher had a list and released the other kids for hometime, then the club leader came round to the classrooms and collected the various kids up. At no point did they have to make their own way and the teacher didn't leave them until she was sure they were with the correct adult.

converseandjeans · 22/12/2023 17:57

I would say he's opting to go straight home as he would prefer to play Xbox than do the club. I think they should check they are all present tbh. Otherwise he could be anywhere & you would never know.

Marblessolveeverything · 22/12/2023 19:23

If the school allows them to walk home then no I don't think it is their responsibility. He needs to remember - does he use a journal? He could pop a note on the day.

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