Ballet for Boys

[GoldenFarfalle]

My youngest goes to ballet once per week. It is a very informal school which doesn't do examinations. He loves ballet and he loves his ballet friends. (He is the only boy in the group ). he told me yesterday he would like to be a professional ballet dancer, should I enrol him in a more serious ballet class? One that follows RAD and does examinations? Or is it too early? I can afford both academies, should he attend both classes? each class is 30 min.

He is 4 years old at the moment.

I would leave him where he is at the moment. My son did primary and grade 1 ballet and modern between ages 4 to 6.5 but only because his classes did that. At 6.5 after first lesson of a term paid for he said he didn't want to go anymore. I said to finish the term and we would see then as I had just paid. He went each week with no complaints and then said so now I am finished. basically what I am saying is if he is enjoying the class as is then stay. If he decides in a couple of years he does want to stick with it then look at that then. He is still tiny.

DD has a friend who is at Bird College he is a Phenomenal dancer and even though he is in the first year is being picked to represent one of the premium dance colleges at events - has never taken a single dance exam. Ensuring you have good technique on which to build is far more important than exams.

At 4 I’m not sure you can fully take him seriously about future jobs. At that age one of mine was going to be a fairy. But… I do think there are ballet schools and ballet schools. Even at 4 there is going to be a world of difference in the approach to training in a school offering a high level to the older ones and one where they only take the young ones for a bit of fun. You could always do a trial at the other one and see what you prefer. I wouldn’t do two different schools on a permanent basis though.

How is doing both going to work when they have competing schedules for rehearsals for productions?

He's so young. There is no rush. If the interest lasts, he can get more serious later on.

Something to bear in mind is that boys very often get teased at school if they do ballet (not at this age, but likely when he's older). A good way to get around that is to send him to a different dance school which is further away. He can then keep quiet about it at school if he wants to.

It is the teasing and the 'gay' jibes that is the most common reason for boys giving dance as a hobby.

It might be worth ringing round a couple of other local schools to see whether any of them (a bigger school maybe) might have other boys who go to the school. It is important for them to have other boys to dance with, and the older ones can be role models. I'd keep him where he is for now though, as there's no need to move at the moment, and going to two different dance schools could easily confuse him. The teaching syllabi and methods can be very different, even at the same level.

I have two dancing boys, one for fun, one with serious ambitions.
I think RAD makes sense from primary on (so age 5), before it really doesn’t matter. one class is also fine, maybe also try musical theatre or similar?

Boys pay a heavy price for liking ballet, and you have to be prepared for a lot of hostility from girls and parents of girls (boys are usually ok interestingly enough). Bullying at school is going to happen - you have to be prepared and prepare him as well.

It really, really helps if they also take a class with other boys, and musical theatre is s bit better when it comes to boys/girls.

Dance schools that do formal exams tend to teach better technique - because it is required to pass those exams. RAD is particularly strict. Yes, a sweeping statement and won’t apply to all schools, but ensuring he doesn’t acquire bad habits is important. If he’s just doing “baby ballet” classes then it won’t matter.

My DDs dance school has boys in every class she attends and it’s fabulous to see. Boys that dance totally rock.

Why should he hide who he is and what he does? I wouldn't teach my son to be ashamed of themself.

My son has danced all the way to pre-professional. He never once got teased. Everyone thought it was very cool.

Anyway, he didn't have time for school once he got past his preteens. Dance training was almost full time.

Never once have seen hostility or anything negative from anyone. My son has danced all the way from preschool to professional Swan Lake.

The biggest price is that the training becomes so all consuming, it's at the expense of other things, teen employment, social life, developing wider interests. You also have to be extremely tough mentally as the profession is very rigorous.

@IsolatedWilderness
Its definitely time consuming, but mine don’t see that as a price. they both much prefer dancing to other (pre) teenage stuff. but yes, like all high level sports it takes over your life. Less annoying than swimming though as at least no 6am sessions (so far) :)

Whith bullying- don’t let it stop them. just make sure there is support in place. If you are lucky you might not need it, and otherwise you are ready to help.
Mine both encountered bullying from groups of girls and their parents from reception onwards (ballet specific, other forms of dance less so), but with the right support you can help them to become resilient and be strong enough to be themselves. just be prepared. It comes from people being ignorant so a bit of education goes a long way!

As long as they enjoy it and are willing to give it the time, I obviously don't have a problem with that since it happened here. I did notice that it was around the age of 16 or so that many gave up when they realised how much more there was in the world that they could access. My son eventually had to stop dancing due to an injury and was a bit lost for a while as it left a huge gap to fill with time. He was able to build new things and now works in a different industry.

I would advise against two different schools; it will confuse him!

DS started in a small school where he was the only boy. Later moved to a bigger one, which helped. Also he did a "Junior Associates" scheme (his was Elmhurst) with some other boys; they normally start in Year 4, so a while to go.

It does become very time-consuming! He added ballroom (danced competitively most weekends) and tap. Some minor bullying but dealt with by teachers. At age 13, he had to decide between various competing interests, and gave up dance but cheerfully rather than because he'd stopped enjoying it. (He told me that his coach in another unrelated activity praised him for "moving like a dancer" though..!)

I wasn't suggesting that at all.

All the same, boys do get teased and bullied sometimes about being a dancer, and it is something that needs to be considered if indeed that happens. One needs to be aware, and prepared for that eventuality should the need arise.

My daughter is a professionally trained ballet dancer. I've listened to a lot of mums of dancing boys in my time (and from the boys and young men themselves) and I've heard a lot of tales, which is why I related what has been useful in the past for others.

And yet several other posters say that their sons have experienced problems with teasing or bullying. So it can and does happen, even if it didn't happen to your ds.

Some people get bullied and others don't. It happens in all walks of life.

Some people will find anything to bully others about. If it wasn't dance, it would be something else. Come to think of it, once my son hit his early teens and went to full on dance training, he didn't have time for regular school, so the opportunity for peer teasing about that sort of thing probably wasn't there.

I would find a RAD school and see where you end up. I would not do both schools as the teaching style may be different.

My son said the same to me about wanting to be a ballet dancer at 3/4. I ignored him and signed him up to football for a while as I thought he just wanted an activity to join in with (bad mummy!) Fast forward to now and he is on a pathway to audition for vocational ballet schools after we listened and signed him up to a very good local dance school when he was 7, which apparently is considered 'late'. He is passionate about ballet (we don't know why or where it all came from). So I would listen to your son and let him follow his interest. It'll fissile out on its own if it's not something he ends up interested in, but I'd give him the opportunity to have the best teaching so he has good foundations.

Regarding bullying, I would say my child did worry about it and asked to keep it quiet for a while, but in the end he has just decided he doesn't care what others think. As far as he's concerned, he wants to be a ballet dancer and if other people have a problem with that, that's their problem. He's only had one or two comments, which I think is mainly because he talks about it with confidence, which means other childern don't see it as a target conversion for unkindess. It's of course a risk, but so is anything (hairstyle, choice of clothes etc) and I would let your child be true to themselves.

I would also keep an eye on good associate programmes when he is older (Y3/4) if he is still interested then. Like royal ballet associates, tring associates, elmhurst young dancer associates, ballet boost...etc.

On a side note, you can afford both schools now....but if he pursues ballet, it becomes very expensive, once a week won't touch the sides. My son has lessons 4/5 times a week making up about 7/7.5 hours and that's considered nothing in comparison to some of his peers, who dance every single day, dance in festivals (we can't afford to do festivals anymore, nor do we have the time with our work schedules / commitments with our other childern) and have private lessons. And I do actually mean every day, even in the holidays.

One main school, with excellent tesching and good opportunities is the best strategy in my opinion.

Your boy only little, so enjoy the journey however long.

is only little *

Agree on the costs and time commitment! My just for fun dancer does about 3 hours per week, his younger (highly ambitious) brother does currently 6 hours per week plus daily stretching at home, and it will go up from autumn to at least 7. both are primary age! We don’t do festivals either!

Hello!
I would definitely encourage his interest :)
It doesn't have to be RAD - it can be any exam board - but yes I would personally look at a school which offers exams. It gives a structure to improving their skills - and as he grows it may mean the school are more aware of further opportunities. These might be local associate programmes he could train with, or summer schools (they all tend to be auditioned and usually you need your teacher to be ok with this - ours suggested the ones our son tried for).
For me personally, I would look for a school where there are perhaps already other boys - not just because it might be nice for him, but because it shows the teacher is used to teaching boys as well as girls. As they get older, skills obviously differ and you want a teacher who can do that.
I would also look for a school which offers other disciplines - so that he can try complementary other dance classes - contemporary, lyrical - or unrelated ones that might be fun, such as tap or musical theatre.
I would recommend looking at your local theatre and letting him try out some musical theatre workshops too - they might be weekly, or one off, or summer camps. Just see if his dance interest is purely ballet or if he enjoys other things, so you can decide what classes to do. At his age you won't want too many!
My son is training hard to have a career in musical theatre and still studies ballet, tap, contemporary, jazz on top of his MT dance classes. He loves it all. He didn't go down the heavy ballet route, though he could have tried to pursue it, it's not what he wants. However we do know another boy from our school (just a local, community centre based dance school) who is now at the Royal Ballet. He, like your son, said it was what he wanted from being tiny. He danced at the local dance school, worked through exams, did associate programmes with Elmhurst and the Royal. And now that's what he's doing - your son may or may not decide to go that far, but why not let him try, and enjoy himself in the process. Have fun! 🙂