Clueless mum - music exams/prep test?

[mumoffourminimes]

I also posted in the music section but was directed here. I can seem to find a music mums thread so please point me to that one, I'm being dim 🤦‍♀️

My children are just starting out with instruments and are really enjoying them at the moment. DH and I had limited musical careers in primary school so clueless about these apparently musical children we've created...

I have a question about the instrument exams. Really just what's the craic? Should they be doing them or not? I've heard different things like they can be detrimental to the love of the instrument.

The situation in summary:

DC10 (yr5) flautist, has made slow and painful progress over the last couple of years, she's essentially just lazy but loves the instrument. Her teacher has now said she should aim for grade 1 and this has spurred on lots of practising and progression and she's very happy with this (I am happy with this too!). So that's her set really. It's a trinity exam and she's started working on the first piece this week, seems to be going okay and she likes it (I'm just so bloody glad we're out of jingle bells/London's burning territory).

Assuming the exam goes well in the summer then should I suggest she does gd2 at the end of yr6? Is that a realistic timeframe? How does it work transitioning to high school music wise?

Also how best can I help her: at the moment it's 15mins practise daily plus some breathing exercises, plus scales. Sound reasonable?

DC7 has done a term of piano and ABSOLUTE BLOODY LOVES it. Her piano teacher says she's very impressed (we've had some lovely notes and emails from her) and has said she can prepare her for grade 1 as quickly as possible. She's also suggested preparing her for the prep test? Any experiences of that?

Because DC10 is aiming for the exam DC7 is just assuming she'll also be doing them - but she's so little that I'm worried. She's also a very anxious child, although this doesn't seem to apply to piano where she seems to becomes a different child entirely.

DC7 will happily do 30 mins practise a day and is bored by the set homework so I've bought her some other fun music to work on in between and keep her busy. It seems to be going well.

So what should I do/ask/guide the children towards?

MTIA for all the music wisdom here 🙏🙏

Hi, I saw you on the music thread but nice to hear a bit more about your gang, sounds like they're both doing great.

With exams, agree with others the teacher is your best resource, you have an expert in the exam system who also knows your kid. You could mention to teacher about the anxiety if you haven't already so they can factor that in.

Early exams are kind of a try it and see. As my kids got further along teacher would involve them more - "would you like to work towards an exam this year? We could aim for grade 3 next term if you want." kind of thing.

If further down the line things aren't going right, I think as a parent you will know and can raise any issues. We did change one teacher who was pushing DC into exams they weren't ready for and causing unnecessary stress. But in the first place trust the pro.

I have 3 kids who were taught music at school and privately

Viola player, hated the exams so his amazing tutor just focused on the music he loved. Luckily lots of classical for him.
Clarinet player loved the performing so did all the grades
Sax player, anxiety. Did alternate grades as he mentally needed to know he was ‘ getting there’

They all enjoyed playing in orchestras, no stress, as you’re with others
So if you have stressykid its a great way to enjoy the instrument.
Summer schools are also amazing

I teach music. Every child is different. A good teacher will listen to their students and not force exams which, if theyre stressed, wont reflect their true abilities

If they do orchestras they will get used to performing so if they need to do the higher grades, for what ever reason, they’re older and maturer.

Every child is different. A good teacher will listen to their students and not force exams which, if they're stressed, wont reflect their true abilities

Yes this; apart from the one we switched, it has always been 'if you want' not in any way enforced by the teacher. Mine currently don't want and their teachers don't seem bothered by that at all, if anything happy about it because they can structure learning around interesting repertoire and what skills need building next.

Thank you :)

Both seem to be full steam ahead for gd1 (flute) and the prep test (piano) and I think the best plan seems to be review after those experiences and see what they'd like to do. I like the sound of the performance exams but I'll be guided by the teachers - tricky when lessons are at school though. I've never met the piano teacher and the flute teacher only once. 🤦‍♀️

My next issue is what to do with DC5 - she initially asked for violin lessons, but now seems content with a recorder. Now I feel torn - do I encourage the violin idea so she has something that's not comparable to her sisters or do I let her do recorder with the middle sister and be either helped by her or feel in her shadow 🙁

If you go the attached website of Dallas symphony orchestra your DC5 can listen to and see all instruments in the orchestra and not be swayed by what others are doing or someone tells her
( I used a similar website for my kids)
Theres no recorder but if she goes for clarinet or similar then assume recorder is her thing

There are so many possibilities with recorder, especially once they get onto the bigger size ones. Look up someone like Sarah Jeffries on YouTube to see her videos. It's not just a toy played at school. I'm sure I will be playing recorder for many more years than the double bass! Some great music around for it and there are special ensembles nationally when they get better as well. It's not just a 'gateway' instrument.

Thank you @Everyonehasavoice the website looks great, I'll show her tonight :)

Thanks @horseymum I'm not at all snobby about recorder, the middle child had a great foundation with it and my mum informed me were related to a professional recorder player. I think the recorder he helped the middle one with her singing too. Does that sound plausible? 😁

Unfortunately I can't convince any of DC5's friends' parents on the virtues of recorder. I've tried to recruit a friend so her teacher will have 2 together (at shared cost) and no takers. A load of them do a rocksteady group instead but from what I can tell they don't seem to study any theory or learn to play an instrument there (and it's highly expensive, pressure sold to the children and the highlight seems to be the sweets they give them 😖 I mustn't rant)

My DCs have been playing for 8 and 7 years respectively and have never taken an exam. We always took the view (supported by their teacher) that if we had the £100 or whatever to spare, we'd rather spend it on extra lessons rather than a piece of paper to show they've had lessons. One is now coming to the point where she wants to do some exams but will only do grade 5 theory and then grade 8 on her instrument - we will skip the rest.

I think it varies by child AND by instrument! My 15yo plays sax and is working on his grade 6 now. Maybe a summer exam. Theory test was enough for him to need a break for sure ;)

However, he also plays piano - and it just doesn't come naturally. The covid format of recording exams included no scales - so he passed g1 and 2 but it came to a 4th term of working on the material for g3 and the teacher messaged me and said look, it's just not working. He struggles with the scales and while that's fine with practice, he just doesn't gel with these classical pieces set by the board. Then I gave him some Christmas music for fun one week - and he was away!

So she suggested we forget the exams, and she just teaches him to play, using music she knows he likes (musicals etc). He's enjoying it more, he doesn't need the exams (not why he's learning the instrument - he already has g8 singing and wants to learn piano to help with that) and he'll continue to progress while enjoying it more and reducing the stress. I said so long as he's learning and the complexity (in whatever form) can therefore gradually increase, everybody's happy - go for it!

As far as anxiety goes, I would say the same thing as for most parenting. Do not make a big deal of it! Same as you don't use scary words if going to the dentist or having a vaccination or even getting on a plane for the first time! Tell her it's just a matter of going and showing someone who likes music what they can do - they have to do things from a list for each level and the person will listen, and write things down - because otherwise they would forget as they have lots of children to listen to! If that person really enjoys what they hear, then they'll send them a certificate to say what a great job they did on that level. And then they can decide if they want to go and show them what they can do for the next level and start practicing that. But that they also, as the get better, will start to be able to play all sorts of cool stuff. It's soooo much better listening to Star Wars themes or Harry Potter floating round the house than it was when they were on three blind mice 😂

I agree it really depends on the child. I have a DS who is 9, been playing the piano for around 3 years and hasn't taken any exams. He's been playing graded pieces as well as others to keep him going though (he's currently on grade 3). He hasn't done any exams as he really isn't into practising but he enjoys playing the piano from time to time and that's fine by me :)

My DD is a different story. She's just turned 7 and has been playing the violin for 1.5 years. She took her grade 1 early last year, has played many of the grade 2 pieces and studies+scales etc and is now on grade 3, and she really is playing quite well. (I used to play the violin too) she hasn't taken any exams since taking g1 but I think we'll leave the exams for a few years now and take it when she's a bit more mature. She plays in concerts and music festivals instead and she enjoys them.

So I honestly don't think grades is everything. They guide you through different levels and so you have a pretty good idea of where they're at, but unless they're applying for a scholarship/bursary in a private school they aren't essential.

Thank you all for the perspectives

DC10 is enjoying learning the gd1 pieces so far (trinity)

And DC7's books for the prep test just arrived.

DC5 just started with the recorder. The teacher's report "she was better than I thought she'd be" 🤣

I'm not sure how things will go but I sense the DC10 will need the exam pressure to drive progression. She's very lazy when it comes to practise.

Conversely, DC7 will sit at her piano for hours, voluntarily, no bribery required. it's quite a shock for me. I'm going to see how she gets on with the prep test experience.