Should I persevere with DD's swimming lessons?

[ponderingthisthing]

DD (age 4) has been having swimming lessons at a private pool for 8 weeks. Once per week, 1 to 3 so small groups.

She's had little experience in pools, but was very excited to go swimming. The first couple of sessions went great and she engaged very well, even jumping into the water independently. But she hasn't progressed at all the last few weeks and if anything, seems a lot more scared of doing activities, not willing to jump in anymore, for example. She's happy being in the water, but just doesn't like water in her face.

I wonder if it's worth persevering with the lessons given that she doesn't seem to have got anywhere over the 8 weeks. The classes, being small group, are expensive, too. On the other hand, I fear pulling her out will impact her confidence as she has friends who started around the same time (different session) and have progressed.

Is it worth taking her back for lessons when she's more confident being in the water and having water on her face?

[HappySM1]

She's your DD so you know her best. Progress comes in fits and starts IME and I would keep going. My DD had a period of no progress, but realistically unless you can be bothered taking her yourself every week, she won't get the chance to get comfortable in the water. There is plenty to learn without getting your face wet. One of DD's friends (8) - she has sensory issues -still won't put her face in, but has mastered the arms and legs for breaststroke and front crawl, just not the breathing. It will come eventually.

[Campervangirl]

I'd persevere with teaching her to swim but teach her yourself.
She may not feel comfortable or may feel unsafe in a group.
Who better to put your trust in than your DM ❤️
I taught my DC to swim and I can't actually swim myself, stood in the shallow end, taught her how to float then armed DC with a float and arm bands, me shouting "kick your feet" whilst holding her up 😂
Great fun!
She swims like a fish now.
My greatest regret is not learning to swim myself

[HavfrueDenizKisi]

In my experience, and having sent two DDs through swimming lessons from age 3 onwards it takes a long time to see benefit. So my two had swimming lessons from a 3 yrs old and finished lessons in yr 6 so 10/11 and they are strong competent swimmers now. But it took time and there's absolutely no way you will see improvement after 8 weeks. You have to invest the time for your kids to be swimming well and it will feel like they are achieving nothing at times.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

pulling her out wont achieve anything positive. You may find like any skill: eg. reading, writing, they struggle and struggle and then just get it.
I personally think swimming is super important- my 4 year old spent the first 3 lessons of her swimming classes holding onto the instructor and screaming down the leisure centre. She's now progressed to stage 2.

Taking them swimming yourself and mucking around: splashing, etc. may help.

[NerrSnerr]

I took my now 5 year old out of lessons earlier in the year as he wasn't engaging and was getting scared of lessons. I take him swimming twice a week and when he's feeling more confident we'll put him back in. His sister did lessons from age 3 and is going strong 4 years later but they're all different.

[MintJulia]

I'd persevere. I agree with @happysm1, progress comes in fits and starts. She'll need to be able to swim to enjoy all the pool parties at primary school, and obviously important from a safety aspect too. She won't get more confident unless she's in the pool regularly.
Are the lessons very expensive? We pay £7.50 an hour in a class of 6. South east.

[ScottishBeeswax]

One of mine was not progressing at swimming lessons at age 4. Two terms and little progress, becoming reluctant to go.
I took her out and gave it a rest for 6 months then enrolled somewhere else and she never looked back

[Reallyreallyborednow]

I’d stick with it now you’ve started.

personally i think there’s more benefit in taking them yourself until 5, but only if you can go every week, and only if you are very confident in the water yourself. until 5 or so it’s all about confidence, learning to float without bouyancy aids, jumping in, going under water etc.

[CasatnaKlimp]

Also take her swimming yourself. Swimming lessons are like music lessons, you need to practise what you have been taught.

[SallyWD]

My daughter was like this at 4.she loved lessons for the first few weeks then hated it. I decided to stop lessons but just rake her myself now and then for fun. She resumed lessons when she was about 7 or 8 and is now a brilliant swimmer at 11. She's way better than me. If she's finding it stressful at 4 I'd leave it for a couple of years.

[JesusSufferingFuck22]

Maybe take her yourself? They will learn to swim but in a less formal setting that won't cost you the earth. Swimming lessons are quite boring but going to the pool for a splash around with mum is more fun. You know her best so can find things that motivate her best.
Between me and my dh we taught our dc to swim. Once they could swim my dd wanted to go to swimming lessons to learn how to do it right🤷‍♀️

[MermaidSwimming]

I would persevere but also take her regularly yourself if you can. This gives more opportunity to just enjoy being in the water, splashing having fun etc.

[starlingdarling]

I'd persevere but only because I'm a grown adult who can't swim. I wish my parents had taken me to swimming lessons (they didn't earn enough for more than basic necessities but equally didn't earn little enough to qualify for help).

I decided to sign up for lessons 3 years ago but could only find one place offering adult lessons outside of office hours. After joining the waiting list they shut down for Covid and haven't reopened. Such a valuable life skill, even if she progresses slowly, it's worth learning sooner rather than later.

[PandaOrLion]

Are you swimming together much? I learnt to swim as a adult and definitely progressed more when I was swimming a few times a week with Dh rather than just one lesson each week

[Mumwantingtogetitright]

I would persevere. As an adult who can't swim, I wish that my parents had pushed me on this.

My dd wasn't a natural swimmer, and went to loads of classes without making any progress. Eventually we paid for 1:1 lessons, and that made all the difference - she came on in leaps and bounds from then on. So if you are able to afford it, I would definitely recommend considering a few private lessons as an option.

[dottiedodah]

My friend is a swimming Instructor ,she had a little boy who just wanted to sit next to her for a few weeks in his Spiderman Outfit! and watch the others .Suddenly decided he wanted to join in!

[Divebar2021]

I wouldn’t give up swimming lessons for a couple of years if you’re going to be in places where there’s water ( beach, lake, pools etc). It’s a life skill not a hobby as such. With our DD she couldn’t join a class as it had no spaces so she had private lessons for a while which got her started although obviously a pricey option. I certainly remember phases where it felt like she wasn’t really improving. I’d definitely make it a mission to go outside her lessons and just play - throw her around a bit so she gets comfortable with her face being wet.

[Mumwantingtogetitright]

@dottiedodah

My friend is a swimming Instructor ,she had a little boy who just wanted to sit next to her for a few weeks in his Spiderman Outfit! and watch the others .Suddenly decided he wanted to join in!

Bless him, that's so cute.

[dollymuchymuchness]

Making sure a child can swim is totally necessary. I wouldn't pull her out of her lessons, as children of that age can go for ages without progressing much. Suddenly she will progress and you'll wonder what you were worrying about.

[Sally872]

I think going every week is how the end up ok getting their face wet. Doesn't have to be a lesson but I wouldn't have went as regularly without the lesson and my ds would not have tried to get his face wet for me. Once he got that he could make much better progress with the other skills.

Might be worth going for cheaper lessons as she isn't really benefiting from the small group if not past getting face wet yet. Also at our lesson (local council pool) there are 8 per class but usually only 5ish manage any week.

[Retrievemysanity]

It depends. If she enjoys going then I’d carry on. If she would rather do something else then I’d let her do the other thing and take her swimming myself. She’s still very young and formal lessons don’t suit everybody. My youngest DD never had lessons as the timing clashed with another activity that she was already doing but she’s an amazing swimmer, very confident and able which I put down to lots of family swim sessions and trips to water parks. It’s not the case that unless she has lessons she won’t be able to swim/swim well.

[HappySM1]

Bear in mind if you decide to take her yourself you will have to pay two entry fees. For me that would work out more costly than the swimming lessons.

[Bunnycat101]

8 weeks is nothing especially at 4. I’ve found with mine that they’ll look like they’re doing nothing and then suddenly crack a skill. Swimming is hard for lots of children. You’ll be in it for the long haul- years not weeks.

[Teateaandmoretea]

4 is young and they all progress differently.
My younger one could swim 10 metres at 4, whereas my older one took a lot longer to get started. She wasn’t a natural swimmer. They now both swim competitively but the older one is better in age-related terms.

In the end the difference between good swimmers and not do good is getting them to the end of stage 7. I’m not sure what they do at 4 really makes much difference with this. Neither of mine would really swim proper strokes till they were about 7.

So I’d do what you feel is best for now, and I wouldn’t worry about comparisons to others. How good they are in the end is pretty much entirely down to how long they stick at lessons when a bit older. So many people let them stop at stage 5, having paid for expensive private lessons early.

Dd2 went swimming with the school this week and out of a class of 30 year 5s only 6 were stage 6 or above. That’s when the difference shows.

[SwimmingIsCool]

Hi OP

I think with swimming they all develop at different speeds. It can be a long process.

DS1 made slow and steady progress in weekly lessons from starting age 4.5/5, then we increased to 2 per week when he was about 6, and progress was more rapid. He's 10 and now swims 7 times a week!!!

DS2 had weekly lessons from 4.5 to 7 and made NO progress in that time really beyond developing confidence in the pool, feeling happy to put his head in, and managing a width of doggy paddle!! From age 7.5 he suddenly found his groove and in the last year has gone from stage 2 to stage 8 with weekly lessons! He's now 8 and in a swim club! At age 6 I'd have laughed if you had told me he'd be in a swim club at 8 because his progress was soooo slow and everyone else seemed to be moving on when he was going backwards!!! I think things just suddenly clicked one day and that was it!

I think they click when they are ready! Maybe your daughter won't start progressing til she's 7 or 8, or maybe she'll suddenly start making progress from next week! I think we can never know, but if she's enjoying it who cares!!! Just let her go and have fun and the progress will come when she's ready :) 👍🏊‍♂️