Music practice

[LittleBipper]

Just looking for advice from more experienced parents.

My son has just started playing drums, he's 8. He got a kit for Christmas and has had a couple of lessons. We always have to tell him to practice though, and when he does he just wants to play the songs he knows already and has to be told to practice his rudiments. He has taught himself to play 3 or 4 Nirvana and Queens of the Stone Age songs and his teacher thinks that's really good but he obviously needs to know the basics.

Is it worth him having lessons? Do parents of musical kids have to remind them to practice when they're starting out or are they self-motivated from the start?

DH has just said he can't really play those songs, he just plays along (I can't tell the difference)

He needs regular weekly lessons. Most kids that age have to be reminded to practise.

My 9 year old has been learning music since she was 3 and absolutely loves it and /still/ needs to be reminded to practice.

As a complete beginner, he would probably benefit from a parent sitting with him and reminding him what he's supposed to do. How to practice is something they need to learn. 'Go and do your drum practice' isn't an instruction he's necessarily going to understand what to do with yet - they're used to being spoon fed at school, not just 'go and do your maths practice'! If you don't have time to sit with, maybe you could talk through with him before he starts each day what things he needs to spend time on.

I'd say at least give it a go for a term or two, see how he gets on and what he thinks after that. He sounds quite keen and will get more out of it long term if he has lessons.

In my experience there are almost no children - no matter how musical and how engaged - who don't have to be nagged to practice in some way or other.

DD has to be nagged at to practice the piano (second study), I don't have to nag at her to practice singing (first study) - she never stops, but she won't always practice the things she's actually supposed to be working on... in fact generally guaranteed that she'll suddenly decide to focus on something that is the polar opposite.

My 12 year old would play in orchestras and sing in choirs all day. She STILL has to be reminded to practise. Not to fiddle around with music (she'll sing and pootle about on the piano, which she doesn't learn, all the time), but to sit down, get out the instrument and practise what her teacher has set her , she still needs a push. Lessons would tell him exactly what he needs to do, so at least that would get covered.

My kid needs lots of encouragement! She loves music but she has no self control. If I listen and praise then she practices well and enjoys it, but if I don’t then she’ll lose concentration and do something else. I’m afraid it’s normal.

*Is it worth him having lessons?

Do parents of musical kids have to remind them to practice when they're starting out or are they self-motivated from the start?*

Yes, it's always worth having lessons to ensure that the learning is structured and he doesn't teach himself bad techniques that then become hard to undo.

I have two DSs:
DS9 is precociously talented and plays piano, violin and acoustic guitar. He has lessons at least twice a week because DW owns/runs a music school (not in UK). But he never practices and has to be pushed hard. Playing Roblox on his tablet is much more interesting.

DS16 plays drums and electric and acoustic guitar. So far he is entirely self-taught though he has started to take some lessons. But he is also self-motivated, he practices every day, several times per day on all instruments. We never have to push him. But, like your DS he tends to play a very limited range of songs (fairly well) and I'm not sure how to get him past those. Hoping the teacher(s) will help.

Lessons are always useful but depends if he wants to get better bit just play along. In terms of practice, a few minutes each day is better than once a week. Set a time to do it and it becomes routine. Two of mine need to be reminded, one never needs to be. In terms of what to do in practice, they often need help structuring it. So maybe a warm up of long notes or bows, scales, study, pieces. Probably a bit different from drums though. I also saw as 321 concept being the ratio. So 3 parts ( eg 15 mins) of the bits you can't play yet, 2 parts (10 mins) on the bits you can play only slowly or hands separately etc then 1 part the bits you can already play so are more fun. I have one DC who only plays the stuff he can already do so is great at the first page of several pieces! Another who is much more meticulous and one who is getting there. I hope your dc has a lifetime of enjoyment from making music, whatever that looks like.

Would also add that I have found things progress much better when parent is actively involved - especially in the early years.

I used to go to lessons and then supervise practice for both. Now she goes on her own to piano, but I still go to singing (but don't sit in... just am available to sort the drama when things aren't going how she wants).

Agree little and often is best, but realistically I will settle for a couple of decent sessions where work is done every week rather than paying lip-service every day and not actually focusing.

It's also okay to stop if they're not ready and come back a few years later - it's not a race! We did that with the piano - started, found she just wasn't in the right head space, stopped after 8 weeks after discussion with teacher and came back 2 years later. Whole different story and she's probably ahead of where she would have been now.

Also exams are not essential - I actually don't much like them. Singing, where we have never done exams, she's always been happy to have a go at loads of different things and isn't stuck doing the same 4 pieces for months on end. Piano, we've had a lot of 'but I can only do stuff that is the same as Grade X' and refusal to look at anything outside what is in the exam booklet... sigh!

Thanks for your brilliant advice everyone ☺️

Yes to structuring it more and the 3:2:1 ratio is a great idea. We have started reminding him to practice while I'm making his tea, which is working well as DH is usually there to help and he is a bit more knowledgeable than me!

We have a long trail of abandoned instruments but he's matured vastly since the last attempt pre-lockdown and is no longer losing his temper if he doesn't get something straight away!