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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Is my 4 year old doing too much?

57 replies

Morgandetoi · 28/11/2021 09:01

What do you think is the correct amount of activity’s for a 4 year old?

She isn’t at school yet and is at pre school 2 days a week, but I worry she is doing too much at a young age.

Monday
Gymnastics- 1 hour 10.45-11.45
Swimming training -1/2 an hour 7.00-7.30pm
Tuesday
Swimming lesson - 1/2 hour - 11.30-12.00
Wens
Pre school 9-4
Swimming training- 1/2 hour 7.00-7.30pm
Thursday
Preschool 9-4
Friday
No activity’s
Saturday
Ballet and tap - 1hour - 9-10am
Sunday
No activity’s

She also wants piano lessons and horse riding lessons but I worry she is already doing too much? She absolutely loves all of these activity’s and happily attends. She also still has afternoon naps on the days she’s not at preschool school.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 29/11/2021 19:01

My 5yo is an activity lover and probably does too much. At 4 she had a swimming lesson, ballet, tennis and gymnastics (so 4x activities) and nursery for 3 days. There is no way I could have done late night swim training without totally burning her out. That feels like an excessive amount of training so young. We go to a swim club now so have 1 club lesson and 1 leisure centre one a week. Our club would not allow a 4yo to be doing 3 sessions. It is a max of 3 sessions at 7 before gradually increasing.

My daughter actually wasn’t tried by school at all but many of her class were utterly spent by 3. Your daughter will have lots of parties etc when starting reception and just much more going on.

Horse riding you can do as a one-off. I wouldn’t start on that path unless you want to haemorrhage cash.

thirdfiddle · 30/11/2021 08:50

Sorry, one more thing to say about music, don't forget they'll need to practice on days they don't have a lesson too. A small time requirement in early stages but does mean finding a slot in your busy day and a parent to organise/encourage.

Madcats · 01/12/2021 09:10

Swim mum of teen DD here. She was always on the go as a toddler, but was a real sleeper. She was still napping as a 4 year old and clocking up about 14 hours sleep/day. She was always sound asleep by 7pm.

We had a tough summer weaning her off the nap during the summer months before starting school.

We did NOTHING after school during that first term. She wouldn't have coped. Instead we made time to play in the park and make friends (me and her).

We did ballet and swimming at the weekends. After we'd settled into a school routine we did gymnastics after school for a couple of years and started various after school clubs from yr1.

We used to have "riding" as a Christmas present when visiting grandparents (convenient present) and also found riding stables to break up long holiday journeys.

alexandraelena · 03/02/2022 11:25

Hi fellow parents! I want to evolve my DC in extracurricular activities? How do you find extracurricular activities? Are there any online platforms or at school? Thank you for your advice!

Secnarf · 06/02/2022 21:50

There is quite a lot of swimming late in the day as pointed out by previous posters. However, given that she’s only at pre-school for 2 days, I’d say that doesn’t seem too much otherwise. It depends on how serious each of the classes is, I guess.

Before my daughter went to school, she was at nursery from 8-6 for 4 days of the week. She had ballet in the morning and gymnastics in the afternoon on my day off, then on Saturdays, she had football in the mornings and swimming in the afternoon. But none were very serious and all definitely just for fun.

Be aware that they can find the first term at school very tiring. Even with my daughter used to 9 hr days at nursery since she was a baby, she took herself off for an afternoon nap for nearly the whole first half term of Foundation Year. She was a very late summer born and just turned 4, so maybe that played a part emotionally, but I understand that isn’t that unusual. Apart from one activity after school, her other activities were all at the weekend during that period. I’m not sure how intensive the two evening swimming training sessions are, but I’m not sure how that would fit in with starting school.

Your daughter sounds a bit like mine - really keen to take things up, but less eager to give things up. She’s now doing 3 dance disciplines, 2 sports, swimming (just weekly lesson) and piano. She is desperate to continue them all, and is better disposed when she has many opportunities to burn energy off. This has exhausted parental ability to ferry her around, and she knows that to take anything new up, she needs to drop something else. I get the feeling that she would just happily collect activities endlessly if she were allowed to do so!

I can see a crunch point coming soon where each thing starts getting more serious/time-consuming. Also, I expect homework to be more significant from KS2 onwards. At that point, she will have to make a choice. It’s difficult as she really seems to love them all equally, doesn’t seem hugely talented at any one of them, but neither is she rubbish at any of them.

One top tip for the future if she wants to continue doing lots of stuff - try not to organise anything for a Sunday morning that could be done at a different time. It is prime territory for scheduling clashes between sports matches and show rehearsals, and you can do without having anything else to juggle then.

Secnarf · 06/02/2022 22:07

Pre-school age: word of mouth from other parents, asking for recommendations on local parents’ social media groups, googling the activity to find local groups and then having a trial session.

School age: all of the above, plus some activities will be available after school, and some instrument tuition organised in school.

In my daughter’s case

Ballet and modern - I drive past the dance studio every day on my commute to work!

Football - Google search for local football teams, and then going for a trial session at the one within walking distance of home

Acro - started because a friend from school asked her if she wanted to go too

Swimming - local recreation centre

Tennis - school club, more fun than spending the whole time in wraparound care.

Piano - word of mouth recommendation from friend after we decided that me teaching her was not the way to go.

Thinking about it, the most effective way is to just find out what your child’s friends do and whether they would recommend it. Off the top of my head, I think I know how we would access trustworthy gymnastics, martial arts, cheerleading, horse riding, ice skating, trampolining, drama, voice, orchestra/band, skiing and brownies/cubs/beavers groups locally from this word of mouth chatter. (Not that we are going to add anything else to her list). Even if you’re not at school pick up or find it difficult to speak to the other parents directly, most classes now seem to have a class WhatsApp group, and I often see requests for recommendations on ours.

It’s amazing the wide range of activity available to children nowadays!

musicathome76 · 10/02/2022 02:57

Not too much, especially that she is not at school yet and only/first child.
I feel I got it right activity-wise with my third child.
At 4 years old he was doing tennis 30 min focused activity daily; 15 min focused violin again daily and swimming once a week.
This was all, other time was spent playing with his siblings.
Now at 11 years old he is an excellent tennis player and violinist.

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